How to reveal this?

[firefirefire]

I am writing a story about a very messy divorce and abusive situation. I am writing it from the man's point of view, where he seems popular, reasonable and kind. He reads as a very likeable character and I want the readers to like him. But at the end I want to reveal that he is an incredibly emotionally abusive man and everything you've read is not actually the truth, but a case of gaslighting.

I have an idea of how I want to bring in the ex wife's situation at the end, but it doesn't feel powerful or striking enough.

Any ideas how you would develop this? I want the end to be a big shock

My personal view is that you might want to beware of effectively gaslighting your reader. Readers like to have some clue about what might be happening, even if it appears to them to be just their gut feeling. If he is utterly marvellous all the way through and then your final chapter is, in effect, "but it was all a dream" then many a reader may feel cheated. It's a difficult line to tread but I love the idea. Sorry if this is not very helpful. Maybe others will have better ideas of how you can introduce the big shock.

I'd struggle to be able to write from the POV of someone whom I know is abusive. I wish you luck though.

Thanks for this.

Me too, but unfortunately it is from very personal experience and I want to show just how someone can attempt to destroy another person in this way.

I'm really sorry that you have been abused. I also have in the past. I've never actually tried writing from their POV and have always written from the victim's point of view. I can completely relate to how cathartic it can be to base characters off your own life.
I know it's quite common for abusers to think that they're the ones being victimised, either because they enjoy it or genuinely think that the world owes them a living. You might also have to toy around with your abusive main character's thought process. I don't actually understand, in my situation, what their logic was in doing what they did because they were "all over the place" (at that's what it would seem from an outsider's perspective, but maybe in your character's head it all makes sense).

In my family there seems to be many people, mainly men, who are totally unempathetic or lack empathy (as unempathetic seems to be the wrong word). If you have empathy then you assume that the other person is seeing it from your point of view ie if you say poor little bird got run over, then you feel they too feel a little sadness, whereas to them, I guess, it is just a statement rather than has feelings attached.
So the abuser could be saying x or y happened but very factually, no empathy.

I just wanted to add, if the victim whom you're writing about is based on yourself, be careful not to self-depreciate yourself in the dialogue and remember your value.
I've always found the concept of lack of empathy really interesting. I know a few people who really suck at empathy but are nice people, they just can't do it.

I think this is an amazing idea and if done right, could have real impact.

‘Lolita’ is interesting from this perspective - all the justifications of a paediohile who sees himself as a hero.

I’m sure there are other examples of a first person narrative where the readers first impressions of the narrator are proved to be wrong...

Good luck.

I agree about the thought processes. What you have is an unreliable narrator, which is fairly common in fiction. You need sort of clues as to how his ordinary persona is perhaps motivated in part through self interest and entitlement, things that are subtle enough that the reader almost doesn't notice them, but which lurk in the reader's mind until the denouement. The sort of things that make the reader want to reread your book to notice them more consciously, IYSWIM.

This sounds tricky to me because while you're working towards the goal of showing that he's gaslighting later on, what in the meantime does the reader think they are reading? Is the plot enough to keep them going in the meantime.

As for examples, you could read something like Marian Keyes' Rachel's Holiday - I'm sure there's a bit where she doesn't realise she's off her head on drugs etc and then later on she looks back and sees the truth (but saying this, now have a sudden fear that it wasn't this book that did this).

No, you’re right, Generic, it is Rachel’s Holiday, and it’s a very good use of an unreliable narrator leading to a genuinely discombobulating ‘reveal”, when the reader realised that Rachel has been jokily minimising her drug addiction and absolutely needs to be in a clinic.

OP, all I can recommend is reading other novels with an unreliable narrator and thinking about how you can adapt techniques to work for you. Are you also going to include another narrative or is his the only voice until the end? Elizabeth Jane Howard’s Falling, about a relationship between a vulnerable older writer and a man who turns out to be a sociopathic conman — structurally very interesting, told in alternating chapters from both POV, but only gradually seeding information about his past — might be good.

It’s not a great book but maybe look at gone girl too?

Thinking specifically about your book, towards the end you realise these are actually police interviews or discussion with his lawyer, then the reality is laid out by a police officer/ solicitor?

Also the girl on the train - although it’s from the victims perspective, it gaslights the reader all the way through until the end.

I think you need to put in a couple of 'red flags' - don't be heavy handed but readers do like to feel like they've figured things out for themselves! Even just an 'off' turn of phrase or odd perspective on a random detail would do it. I'd prefer a creeping sense of unease before the reveal. It's a fab idea though.

Genuinely thank you so so so much for all this advice!

Means so much and has given me the push to go for it.

I have decided I can definitely work with an unreliable narrator, but I will reveal sooner, with letters and viewpoints from other characters .

I can't wait to start