Confidence...

[MegRam]

Hi,

I'm looking for some words of wisdom on tackling confidence issues. I'm an experienced word smith, but in academia, mostly - research, journals, articles etc., - and more recently, blogging on a specific topic, but have, in the last few months, started experimenting with fiction.

Although I feel confident in my ability to write well, technically, I am distinctly wobbly about my creative ability. I come up with ideas (mostly in the middle of the night when I'm up with my baby...), but as soon as I start getting something down, I get lost in my self limiting beliefs, conscience myself everything I write is complete and utter shite, and then stop.

I only want to write for my own sense of achievement, so I suppose it doesn't really matter, but I don't think I'll ever feel that satisfaction unless I can produce something of creative merit. I'm not sure exactly how to benchmark that, though...

Any ideas how to work through this and build confidence in my own creative content, or should I stick to non-fic?

I have always wanted to write novels, since I was a young teenager, but never felt confident enough. Although I'm not an academic, I do have some experience writing non-fiction, speeches, opinion pieces, on-line magazines etc. Small time stuff, less than 5,000 words.

I bought a book called "The Snowflake Method" that talks the reader through a process of writing novels that really clicks in my head. I've gained a lot of confidence following this method and have gone further in writing a book than ever before. The mental roadblocks I used to hit have been easily overcome this time and I feel really excited to push myself into writing the full book. It's still early stages, but I am pleased!

Maybe you need to find a different writing method that works for you? Maybe take a creative writing course?

I'd recommend reading something like Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott or Writing Down the Bones.
Writing fiction is all about getting a shitty first draft down; the real writing is in the editing.
To get started you need to just get into a regular writing habit and stop self-editing as you go. None of the great works of fiction you have read have been first drafts.

Thanks both for those great tips. I've ordered the books.

Part of my problem, I think, is that I am struggling to come up with ideas that seem original enough.

Maybe I need to lower my expectations a little.

Well, no idea is truly original, is it? We're all building on each other's collective thoughts.

Maybe start with things that have happened in your own life and build from there?

Ernest Hemingway said ‘The first draft of everything is shit’.
I’m going to write that down for myself as an inspirational message on a postcard for when I feel like chucking it in.
I don’t think it’s so much about thinking of a completely original idea. All the stories have been written thousands of times over. The most throwaway idea can be developed into a story.
I have a book where I keep these throwaway ideas. I’m writing a short story using one this week. So far it’s going well. It’s not completely shit, so it’s going well.
How about choose one of your ideas and, before you start to write or even plan a story, just do a good old fashioned brainstorm about all the associations you can think of with that idea. You’ll be surprised what comes up and it could take you off in an interesting direction.

I’m interested when you say you want to produce something with ‘creative merit’. What do you mean by that?

That's the problem, I suppose. I don't really know how I want to quantity it.

I think I want to write something that I'd be happy for someone else to read. At the moment, I wouldn't let my dog cast his eye over my rambles.

I think the advice here is sage. I'm probably spending too much time agonising over the quality, when, for now, I just need to get it down and then come back to it later on.

A creative writing course really helped me. It was good to have a purpose for my writing. I knew people would be reading it and making comments, so it spurred me on.

One tip I like to motivate me is to jot down a few ideas in the form of the blurbs you see on the back of books. If my idea or plot is a bit flimsy then I always struggle to write a compelling blurb.

If I can write a good summary then next I'll write a rough overview of the plot so I have a clear but high level start, middle and end.

If I can't do these two things at the outset then I know my writing will either get confusing or I'll run out of steam or lose interest.

This is just something that works for me but I'm no expert! Also I would read samples of other books on your genre - in sure you'll see then whether your writing is comparable quality. Hope you get a novel finished - its a real sense of personal achievement!