Oddsocks15 · 01/02/2018 21:58
Call it a mid life crisis but I have an idea for a book, different aspects of it keep coming into my mind.
Most of it relates to my life and how I’m feeling about different things, images, sentences just float into my mind, dunno just some advice really.
Oddsocks15 · 01/02/2018 22:34
Okay I’m going to be brave and give you the start for some honest feedback. It is mostly based on RL...
Mum has just phoned, Dad has cancer and he is going to die soon. I should feel upset but I feel angry with Dad, he is an alcoholic and he has liver cancer. I say nothing to my Mother when I visit Dad in hospital and see his jaundiced face, swollen stomach, feeding tube and catheter.
I don’t know it at the time but this the last time I will ever see my father alive, my last image of him is a face as yellow as the sun.
Frequency · 01/02/2018 22:41
It's not very emotive or descriptive and is quite passive but it's not horrific.
My advice would be to keep writing - use it as a first draft but read, read, read while you're writing.
Oddsocks15 · 02/02/2018 07:26
Honeybooboo123 · 03/02/2018 12:15
That reads like a plot outline for a scene, a good scene. Try writing it as it would feel for your character. Remember to try and show, not tell and think about all the different senses. What does his room smell like? How do you feel?
Oddsocks15 · 03/02/2018 13:34
numbereightyone · 04/02/2018 07:49
My general advice is that you have to decide why you are writing a book. Is it to get your feelings out there or do you want to entertain your readers? Lots of people have good ideas but writing is a craft which you really have to work hard at. You need to think about how to expand your idea so as to maintain enough interest for an entire book.
4amwriter · 04/02/2018 09:36
I like it. Although someone else said 'not very emotive or descriptive' that works for me, because I think that lack of emotion is what you were feeling at the time, and also personal preference (I don't enjoy highly descriptive, 'overly written' prose).
I would expect the next paragraph to open up more though, and we've just looked at this one in isolation. Keep writing. I think first write this book for you. You can come back to it later if you want to make it in to something for others to read.
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