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Please may I ask for help with a plot detail?

35 replies

FineSally · 01/02/2017 09:10

Recent NC
long time lurker on here, regular poster on other boards.

An important plot detail in the novel I'm writing involves the opening up of a sink hole in someone's garden.
(don't laugh, it actually happened to someone I know)

For credibility only, not relevant to the plot... if this was YOUR house, who is the FIRST person you would ring?

The house is owned by a 40-something divorcee, and at the time it happens she has her 19 year old daughter there, who is hysterical.
There are no services (gas, water etc) involved and its not life-threatening, (other than the obvious worry about whether the house is affected)

OP posts:
EyeStye · 09/03/2017 20:29

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EyeStye · 09/03/2017 20:29

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Hassled · 09/03/2017 20:30

999, regardless of the lack of life-threatening going on. It's still a bleeding sink hole in my garden. And it might become life threatening.

Chillidawg · 09/03/2017 20:32

I think I'd ring 999 and when they said 'which service' I'd say 'I don't really know' and go from there.
I'd send the hysterical dd round neighbour's yelling 'the hole, the hole'
Mind you, we are 50 and 15.
If it was on the road, the Highways Agency too. In my garden, I'd be on the phone to the insurance pretty sharpish.

Chillidawg · 09/03/2017 20:33

And I'd get my hairspray ready for when the giant spiders emerged.
Oh, no spiders? Shame.

HelsinkiLights · 09/03/2017 20:35

My PIL's as they are cool, calm & collected.
Whereas my Mum would freak & my Dad would come round & take a photo.
I would also try 999 or the ex army neighbours.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 09/03/2017 20:46

Honestly? Probably my dad. Or my next door neighbour (whose dad built these houses and might know something about what's under them)

FineSally · 17/03/2017 15:59

Just catching up on the latest replies.

The sink hole itself is an important plot twist, but I'm not giving away any more details Wink

M0stlyBowlingHedgehog has the right idea - its the second call she makes that is important in terms of plot development. I didn't think it would be credible if that was the first, or only, call she made.

However, the way she handles the first call is also quite revealing.

chillidawg I actually used that approach in the version I've written.

OP posts:
M0stlyBowlingHedgehog · 17/03/2017 22:29

Aha, in that case (aside from revealing something about her in the way she handles the first call), what's the most useful/entertaining/funny piece of misdirection you could throw at your readers with the first call?

FineSally · 18/03/2017 08:57

what's the most useful/entertaining/funny piece of misdirection you could throw at your readers with the first call?

an idea I am playing with involves having the bomb disposal squad turn up because the operator misheard/misunderstood something.

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