Advice on writing erotica

[NCJustWondering]

NC, obviously. I fancy having a go at writing erotica on kindle but want some advice from readers. I've downloaded a lot as research (ahem) - mainly short stories, mainly free - and have noticed that most of them included acts which (IMO) were mainly for male pleasure.

If you enjoy reading erotica, do you get turned on by reading something that is for the pleasure of the man involved or do you prefer to read only stories about the woman being on the receiving end (so to speak!)?

Just a quick and obvious example - are you happy to read about men receiving oral sex or would you prefer to read about women receiving it?

Also, if you are reading that kind of story, do you think it should always end in penetrative sex? Would you feel short-changed if it didn't, but if the woman was satisfied?

I am writing for a female market and am personally a bit sick of reading about women getting turned on primarily by doing things to men.

Thanks.

Don't mention the knob being wiped on the curtains afterwards.

Kills it stone dead. Every time.

I write a lot of romance with sex in.

Dont use the words pussy or vagina, its so of off putting.

Bisctits!

Or love-tunnel. Don't use the phrase 'love-tunnel'.

Or 'love-juice'.

Yeah and make your characters likeable.

Not emotionally abusive turds and naive, irritating virgins.

I once read a boddice ripper and advise not using the phrases 'Throbbing bud' or 'throbbing member'. A bit naff.

Oh, I'm guilty of using the word "length" for that particular part of a man. I almost feel ashamed now at what I use for the female parts.

lol at love-tunnel and love-juice

Nothing coy please. Make it hard core.

No talk of pearling droplets' on his 'member'. I still feel sick from reading that...

I may have to flounce due to shame:

Pearl
Wet sex
Entrance
Delicate pink folds.

I'm going to mumsnet hell.

I nicked that from a literary website. Blame them, not I.

There were far worse ways of describing the fanjo.

beef curtains

Hang on, I'm trying to find the site.

Erotica has to be real for it to work. Anything contrived will just be cringe worthy. No, penetrative sex is not important, don't turn it into a love story. 50 shades was shit because it couldn't decide what it was.
If you are writing about sex, then the words "down there" should be banned. Write explicitly. A combination of man's and woman's pleasure. One sided doesn't work for me.
Make sure the proportion of sex to story is high. I don't buy erotica to read a lot of waffle, I want action with enough story for it to make sense.

Step 2a: Resist the temptation to use genital euphemisms, unless you are trying to be funny.
No: Tunnel of Love, Candy Shop, Secret Garden, Pleasure Gate

Equally No: Flesh Kabob, Magic Wand, Manmeat

Especially No: Bearded Clam, Tube Steak, Sperm Puppet

And definitely no bisctits.

(Or 'his steaming chocolate eclair' unless it is a VERY PARTICULAR KIND OF STORY)

I like the build up. I like the scene to be set and lots of anticipation before the sex. The first kiss should be the first sex scene iyswim, I don't like it when we're thrown directly into the action in the first page or even ten pages, and the first kiss is reduced to a passing mention in a flurry of rutting.

I think it's nice when for whatever reason the characters don't do their whole repertoire in one night. Let them be interrupted, or time constraints get in the way, or something so that it isn't like sexual gymnastics, and so the next time isn't just a repeat of the same.

It is nice if the woman gets attention first or mainly. As nice as blowjobs are to um, be part of in real life, they aren't so interesting for women to watch or read about in fiction.

Never ever ever use the words oozing, weeping, drooling, moist, screamed, turgid (sounds like turd) penis, fluids, angry (in a description of someone's cock) ugh, no.

I reckon so. I couldnt take myself seriously using those words. I do romance not sex comedy.

Actually the patisserie theme is rather an unploughed furrow (another one to avoid there)

Her perky Belgian buns

His cream-covered Finger

Her soft caramel interior

His masterful Yum Yum