What do your children call you?

[Loonaandalf]

Irish parents, if your children were born and raised in Britain, what do they call you?

I am expecting my first and wondering what we should encourage them to call us.

DH and I always said ma, mam, da, dad.
I like mama/ papa also but would we come across a bit pretentious since we’re not ehm Italian 🤣

I really want to avoid mum, mummy if possible. Would even prefer children to call me by my own name but DH thinks it’s silly. My name is my name though so…

No don’t get your child to call you by your name .

I like mam . Mammy

A friend’s children call her that but their dad is Italian .
I like it though

Mum. I hate ‘mummy’ unless you are Irish (Mammy) or very aristocratic.

DS was born in London and lived till he was seven in England. He did call me Mum and Mummy because that’s what he heard his peers saying, though I never much cared for it (I called my mother ‘Mammy’ as a child and migrated to ‘Mum’ at some point in my teens, I think? ‘Mummy’ in particular always felt quite alien) — now at 12, he says Mum, or uses a nickname based on my name. (But always calls all four grandparents by their first names.)

I would be furious if my DKs called me by my Christian name, disrespectful! My old neighbours did really weird a 4 year old saying Jane or John to their parents. If I'm in favour ma, mummy as a joke if they want a favour, mother of I'm not in favour.

But I don’t think that having him call me by my first name would have been an issue if I’d wanted. His approach to his grandparents seems to have arisen when he was very little when he got fascinated by people having different names depending on who was talking — so I called my mother ‘Mum’, but DH called her ‘Mary’ etc, and he was supposed to call her ‘Granny’ but decided he’d go with ‘Mary’ despite her attempts to get him to go the Granny route.

What’s ‘disrespectful’ about it, unless there’s actual disrespecting going on?

Mam or Mum are the best and most commonly used I would say. I agree with the pp that you shouldn't get your DC's to call you by your name as not only will it sometimes add confusion when your kids are speaking of you to someone, such as their Teacher, but I think it takes away a level of respect that you are their Mum.

I think you need to wrap your head around mum tbh. That's what we always used growing up in Ireland anyway. You can start with mama/mammy/Mam but once they're at school they'll likely swap to whatever their friends are using. Best to make your peace with that now!

I grew up in Ireland and always called my mother mum, never mam or mammy so when my kids were all born in England and called me mummy like most of their friends, transitioning to mum as they got older, that just seemed normal. Interestingly my sister’s kids who were born and live in Ireland all call her mam.

If your DC are in childcare in England, they'll end up calling you Mum. I tried to avoid it, but I become Mum. I was never Mummy though.

They used my name, why wouldn't they. I fail to see how using my name can ever be disrespectful. People know they are my children. As they would clarify if necessary.

The need to control how another addresses you says a hell of a lot about insecurity or value of perceived status versus the relationship 🤷‍♀️.

Mine are Irish and born and dragged up here and all have said Mum. Now its Mom or Mother or Manufacturer depending on which is looking for a slap.

I’m in my 50s and the only person I knew in my WC childhood who called their mother ‘Mum’ was the child of what I know realise was a strongly socially-aspirant family who moved, throughout the time I knew her, from a rented terraced house through a suburban park to a huge Victorian house in big grounds (where the dad acquired a Barbour and blackthorn to walk his black labs). He was self-made from WC beginnings and very alert to shibboleths, and probably would have been enraged if she’d said anything as hick as ‘Mammy’.

Ok? I'm in my 40s and everyone in my school used Mum (and Mummy at younger ages). I used Mammy before I went to school but she's been Mum for about 35 years now.

What's disrespectful about your children calling you your name?

They called me mammy when they were small then mum and once they were in school it gradually changed to mam. They'd get a tongue lashing if they called me mammy now that they're grown up, I cringe when I hear adults calling their mothers mammy.

I’m assuming you grew up in a considerably more MC area.

My Irish friend gets called mammy even when she lived in Glasgow. That was what she called her mum too.

I do wonder if the kids would have changed to mum as they got older (and more Scottish lol) but she moved back home when they started school.

Adult, married dd calls me mum when she wants something but by my full first name (I hate my full first name, which she is more than aware of 🙄) when I do something shocking (often).
Dsis and I called my ddad by his first name, started when we were small and just carried on.
Called dm mum but as I got older called her by name but with an ie on the end, think Jeanie.

Mum. Mummy when younger. When my children were very young, we lived in NE England, where Mam was the normal form, but moved before they were old enough to pick it up.

My children go to school in London, where lots of forms are acceptable depending on culture, although children who try to be American and say Mom are universally mocked. Mama and Papa definitely only for people from countries where they are the standard terms (not Italian, btw, where it is Mamma and Papà - might seem picky, but they are pronounced differently from what you've written, Italian is a phonetic language). Teachers in primary will say Mummy and Daddy and later Mum and Dad.

What is it about Mum and Mummy that you dislike?

Whatever you're must comfortable with.

I couldn't be having my kids call me something I didn't like.

I'm Irish living in England and I'm Mummy. If I wanted to be Mam I would.

When they're older and talking to their friends in school, I'm sure they all just conform and say "my mum".

One of my sisters spent a few years in the US and says mom.

This is obviously a modern thing,I'm in my 70s. I would consider it disrespectful and so would my dogs, they aren't under my thumb, but they have been taught politeness and respect for others. I don't like the bank saying "is it alright if I call you Jane," no it isn't. At work nursing, patients would call out "nurse",then our Christian names went on the badges, they thought you were their own private nurse, and could just ",oh,Jane". My neighbours who allowed the young children to call them by their Christian names, tried to change,it didn't work,they bred rude, nasty, aggressive children with no respect for other peoples property and in the end, aggressive towards their mother. I love my DKs dearly but Im their mother, not their friend. Incidentally,my father was just that, and my dhs mother has only ever been called mother

I never typed dogs I typed dks

What’s disrespectful about it? It is my name after all. Never heard of a first name being called a Christian name either lol. Not everyone is religious.