Ireland is a hard place to live

[Mooshamoo]

Just watching the video of the black child being not given a medal by Irish gymnastics.

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here on craicnet, who is not Irish, living in Ireland. What your experiences are.

I think that Ireland can be a very hard place to live if you are not fully white and fully irish.

I'm half Irish. I was bullied all the way through school for not having an Irish surname. Then when I grew up and lived in the same small town, all of the same girls from my school were living in that town. And as adults they refused to talk to me.

I see the women who are fully Irish, being popular , having great lives.

To be totally acceptable and popular in ireland, you have to have a rich family, brothers/father who play gaa etc.

All the rich girls in my school hung around together. And again as adults all the rich Irish women hung around together in small town Ireland.

If you were foreign, from a single parent family, seen as poor, you were not accepted at all.

And it's who you know

I think this makes Ireland a very difficult place to live

I'm interested to hear. Why do you think other countries in Europe that were invaded, is not comparable to the history of our islands?

Take poland. It's been invaded by different countries for hundreds of years. Im not saying you're wrong at all. I'm just interested to hear your opinion. Why you think Ireland being invaded last century and centuries before , is different from other countries that have been invaded

Do you have a source for this?

I knew of this story but hadn't checked it out, having just done so the only thing I came across is the judge who handed out the medals received anti-racism training (what a joke that is btw...a racist is a racist).

https://www.rte.ie/news/ireland/2023/0925/1407226-gymnastics-apology/

"a Gymnastics Ireland official handing out medals to a number of young gymnasts but skipping the only black girl in the line. According to the organisation, the girl received her medal after the official realised the mistake."

Skips past a black girl...there was no reason given that you mentioned. If it was the case that you state (a simple error) this wouldn't have made the news.

This unfortunate (and possibly racist (if that is indeed confirmed)) incident is unrelated to the bad faith posts by the originator of this thread, but it's worth commenting on nonetheless.

So where I'm going with this, is that if you look at the history of Irish/Anglo relations over the last 25 years, that there has been a massive improvement in how we relate to each other. Reciprocal royal/presidential visits, close governmental cooperation (even if Brexit has put a spanner in the works) Ireland is lauded internationally an example for the NI peace process for example.
Yet on the ground you say it's a different story.
Is it not feasible that within other European countries the same dynamic exists?
I don't know - I've never lived anywhere but Ireland. Just struck me. Sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees.

Ireland is awash with racists. We-re catching up, but it'll take time.

I don't think there has been much improvement in Anglo/Irish relations. What we had one royal visit. I don't think we have close governmental cooperation in anyway.

And ther is still huge anti British sentiment in Ireland .

And there is also still a lot of anti Irish sentiment in England, which I also hate.

I don't think relationss have improved much between the countries.

The two countries maybe need to sit down and figure out how to improve relations, as so many families are terribly affected by the bad feeling between the two countries

I hold my hands up, I'm not familiar with Polands history of being invaded other than by Germany and Russia in the last century. I know given the current war that Poland is very hostile and suspicious of Russia - I don't know how Russian citizens in Poland fare these days for example.

My point on them not being comparable is that Ireland was invaded nearly 900 years ago and remained that way by the same invader up until just over 100 years ago. I was connecting the previous points on the thread regarding anti English sentiment on Ireland to collective historical trauma from the same. And if I remember correctly you were saying other European countries don't have the same issues or hang ups about being invaded? Sorry its late and I'm shattered now and probably not making much sense!
I will bow out now for the night. I do genuinely wish that you find peace Moo

Thanks for your posts. It was interesting to talk to you. Have a nice evening.

Lads, i'm 40 odd, fairly 'woke' but i'm racist.i see race, in my head i see race. I correct myself every single time, but ultimatly i am racist. I have to correct myself each time. It's shit, but it''s how i was raised. So now i do the work myself. I'm mortified àbout it but i need to see it to correct it.

Oh and Poland is fabulous if anyone ever wants to go. Gorgeous country and really lovely people

My husband, a blow in, now knows more people than me, whose lived here (this town) early all my life. They refer me to as 'husbands wife'!!

I'm not annoyed. I'm glad he's making a life here. Ireland is not that small any more (yes it is but people don't care any more)

@Mooshamoo Please don't take this the wrong way... but have you considered the possibility that you may be autistic?

Your write repetitive posts that hyperfixate on the same things, and you're clearly very rigid and unable to see anybody else's opinion if it doesn't match yours. And I've been through your posts and there seems to be a real difficulty with depression Which can be common. In previous posts you've mentioned that therapy and medication don't work. If you are autistic then antidepressants won't work. Because it's not true depression. And only certain types of therapy will have any effect because autistic brains are wired differently. Different brain= different appropriate therapy.

I'm not saying this to he goady. I'm saying this because finding out I was autistic and had ADHD last year changed my life and enabled me to learn how to manage my emotions and my thought processes. Which made me a much happier person all around, and made me much more tolerable to be around because I learnt how to work around rigid thinking and hyperfixations etc

I've heard it all now. Someone thinks they can diagnose someone with autism over the internet. I dont that I would dream of trying to diagnose someone over the internet. It's bizarre.

I don't write repetitive posts that hyperfixate on the same things. You barely know me .

Ive looked at the last five threads that I've posted on on mumsnet: they are threads on

Ireland
Period pants - how good the different tyoes are
Going for walks
Retraining in a new career.

They are all completely different things. I certainly don't hyper fixate on the same things

On this thread sakura7 and chickenkeev have also refused to see anyones opinions except for their own. 20 people on this thread have said that they have had bad experiences in Ireland and sakura7 refused to see those people's experiences, she completely dismissed them all.

So how come you are calling me autistic ,and not those two posters. When we have all exhibited the same behaviour of not wanting to see the others opinion, and sticking to our own opinion.

Can you talk through your reasoning behind that?

Chickenkeev was completely dismissive of my experiences of racism/xenophobia bullying in Ireland. She told me to leave Ireland or shut the fuck up. She said Ireland was a great society. She told me I was crazy.

She then later on in the thread said that she is racist herself. It came straight from her mouth.

She said "Lads, i'm 40 odd, fairly 'woke' but i'm racist.i see race, in my head i see race. I correct myself every single time, but ultimatly i am racist. I have to correct myself each time. It's shit, but it''s how i was raised. So now i do the work myself. I'm mortified àbout it but i need to see it to correct".

Now there's some one that does need a diagnosis

To be honest @Mooshamoo your two comment rant is just further demonstrating what I said about rigid hyoerfixative thinking. And we both know me explaining my reasoning isn't going to do anything to make you see my point because you clearly don't have the ability to consider other comments if they do not meet your world view, or what you expect of the world.

But, the reason I haven't made that suggestion to them is because their entire post history doesn't consist of them making repetitive threads that hyperfixate on the same things. Over and over and over again. For years. As stated in my previous comment, I made a suggestion based on your entire post history. To help you. Because in so many previous posts you ask for help with your thoughts and your mental health. If you don't want to look into it then that's your choice and I respect that.

I will not be engaging with this thread again, because as I mentioned before I am autistic. (Hence why I see so many autism red flags in your posts). I know that if I engage any more I will hyperfixate on this post. And to be honest I don't really want to get caught into an endless one sided debate with you. Because as you've shown it will go nowhere and I will achieve nothing because you can't see anybody else's world view except your own.

But I will reiterate, if you want to improve your mental health and move forward, then fight through the rigid thinking and look up autism in women. You can even trick your rigid thinking and pretend you're genuinely interested.

I wish you all the best for the future.

I've never even been to Ireland, but two friends lived there for a time and loved it. They made lots of friends, who they still are in contact with now that they've moved back home to the other side of the world.

All.i can say is one of the mammies in school is from Holland. Knew no one when She arrived. Well she is on the parents assocn - at kick boxing. Makes a serious effort and it pays off !! She has lots of pals .like you have to.put the effort in not just in Ireland but anywhere.

My god this thread is mental. I won’t even suggest you get help OP, because you won’t. After all, it’s such easier to blame everyone else for your problems than addressing them.

I’m not even Irish and I feel annoyed by this thread. The thing is it probably could have been useful for people to share good and bad experiences after moving to Ireland, and practical advice how to circumvent some issues. But none of this is possible here because you only side with posts that reafffirm your option, and you challenge all other ones.

I’m surprised that this thread is still up tbh.

Hi Mooshamoo

I'm sorry you have had such a difficult time and it seems like you are trapped due to your mother's health.

I'm not Irish and have lived here for over 20 years. We moved here when I was a child. I didn't have any difficulty mixing in primary school. It was a small country school. However when I ended up going to a large secondary school in the nearest town, I struggled. Nobody from my primary school went to the same secondary and I became isolated. I wasn't bullied but people already had their friend groups and I found it hard to break in.

I seem to find it hard to form good friendships so despite 5 years of secondary school and 4 years of college, I am friends with nobody from that period of my life. I'm actually OK with this and it doesn't bother me.

I do think if my parents were more sociable, my life would be different. If they made more of an effort and brought me to after school activities that others were going to, it definitely would have helped. I wanted to do after school basketball and afterschool rugby but was not allowed. If they didn't isolate me from everyone by sending me to a different secondary school, that would have helped. They were also a bit odd and I could never invite friends to our help. I think these are all factors in why I struggled to make good friendships. I also dont have the masses of cousins that lots of Irish people have! I don't think my nationality has anything to do with me struggling to make friends.

With my DC now, they were born here in Ireland but have my foreign accent. My older DS has struggled a bit because he has ASD and is socially behind. He is however doing ok because I put a lot of effort in to make sure does. He does a number of after school activities to ensure he is getting out and getting involved. In doing this, as well as seeing his class mates there, he is seeing other children from other schools and making more acquaintances. If I wasn't taking him to these, I would be excluding him. I also make an effort to talk to the other parents, invite children over. I think these kind of things have more of an impact on DC socially than nationality.

In saying all of the above, I am not denying what you have been through and believe what you have said. I was surprised that some adults are carrying this on into your adult life, however reading through the thread I have seen at least one Irish poster who sounds just like a bully, and another Irish poster who argued with you before later saying she was a racist. Some of your posts have been completely dismissed and you have been asked to answer questions that you have already answered. Some have told you to leave the Irish boards - why can't a person living in Ireland post on the Irish boards? Some have told you to leave the country even though you have already explained why you can't. You specifically said in the OP that you wanted to hear the experiences of non Irish people, and Irish people have come on and berated you.

Anyway, sorry my post has turned out so long. I really hope you can find some happiness OP and if you ever want someone in Ireland to chat to about the weather, the cost of living and any other stuff, you can drop me a message for some friendly chat.

You said

"however reading through the thread I have seen at least one Irish poster who sounds just like a bully, and another Irish poster who argued with you before later saying she was a racist. Some of your posts have been completely dismissed and you have been asked to answer questions that you have already answered. ".

Thank you for that. Thanks for saying I can drop you a message for a friendly chat too. That's nice. How is your week going. Did you have the bad storm yesterday. Storm Agnes . It was raining here a lot

I have sent you a PM @Mooshamoo

@BooAutumniscoming I don't think it's fair to call PPs bullies.

People have tried to engage and offer advice, but it's obvious the issues here run much deeper than just nationality.

If someone comes on the Irish section on MN, talking about how awful Ireland and Irish people are, telling Irish people their opinions are worthless, don't be surprised if they don't get a great response.

If this thread was about another nationality, religion or race, with the kind of sweeping generalisations that have been made here, it would probably be pulled.