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Original poster

11yo ds funeral outfit

22 replies

EllaMenopee · 21/08/2023 23:34

For UK posters, this is Craicnet, so different funeral mores apply!

Mil's sibling passed away today. We will be going to the funeral on Wednesday. Ds is 11 and lives in shorts, tracksuits and football jerseys. He only owns runners. Can I get away with smart shorts (maybe chino-ish) with a polo shirt? He won't be at the removal/wake, just the church and then most likely back to mil's to play with his cousins. I know this would be fine for my side, and tbh don't think mil would bat an eye as long as he's clean and tidy, but I don't want any attention on him at all! If need be, I can get to Liffey Valley tomorrow but I don't even know what might be available in stores. And no school uniform trousers and shoes as back up, ET primary!

OP posts:

DiscoBeat · 21/08/2023 23:38

Personally I would go very smart for a funeral unless the dress code is different. My two teens wore their black school trousers, white long sleeved shirt and formal black shoes and a black tie to their Grandad's funeral but if the dress is deliberately relaxed that's different, of course.

HarrietJet · 21/08/2023 23:46

I think that sounds fine, op. Nobody will expect to see an 11 year old in full mourning.

Original poster

EllaMenopee · 21/08/2023 23:47

Are you in Ireland @DiscoBeat ? I think I'd prefer to leave him at home than buy trousers, shirt and shoes to be worn for one hour.

OP posts:

Wond3rment · 21/08/2023 23:47

If I read your post correctly, it’s the funeral of your DC’s grand aunt or grand uncle? Chino shorts and polo shirt sound ideal. Clean, stylist runners will work too. He’s 11 so nobody will mind.

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/08/2023 23:48

Ireland? Chino shorts will be fine, if you can get him into them or school uniform.

Original poster

EllaMenopee · 21/08/2023 23:51

Yes, grand aunt's funeral. School doesn't have a uniform or that would be very handy as a back up.

OP posts:

Marblessolveeverything · 21/08/2023 23:53

Sorry for your loss. I've gone with chino and polo before and nobody batted an eyelid. Honestly clean, tidy and being there will be grand

Doggydarling · 21/08/2023 23:56

The outfit you're planning is fine, to be honest even a nice tracksuit would be fine at that age. No way I'd expect a child to turn up in 'mourning' clothes like black trousers, white shirt and black tie, thankfully it's not really done any more.

TravelSpam · 22/08/2023 00:03

It's probably fine, but you could go to Dunnes and get him a school shirt and trousers fairly cheaply, that's what I did in a similar situation and I didn't have a lot of time to sort it out (ET school too!) He wore his normal runners and I didn't bother with a tie.

pontipinemum · 22/08/2023 12:11

That sounds fine. We had my uncles funeral last week. I managed to cobble together a black outfit. But DH wore jeans/ shirt. Many people wore more muted clothing but def not mourning clothing. Even the 'chief family' weren't in solid black.

The teens there were wearing jeans/ tops. Clean and respectable is fine.

I didn't know who she was but a teenager was wearing those really short sports shorts they all wear and I could see her arse cheeks. I don't like them at the best of times but ffs in mass at a funeral was not the spot!!!!

eurochick · 22/08/2023 12:18

I'm English but married to an Irishman so I have experienced funerals in both cultures. I would say that funerals in Ireland can be more casual in terms of dress than the U.K. so a lot of advice you get here could be off the mark. Chino shorts and a polo sound fine for an eleven year old. If you are worried he will be too casual does he have any friends who go to uniformed schools? Maybe he could borrow a pair of trousers.

Charrington · 22/08/2023 12:25

Absolutely fine. You’re worrying about nothing!

I was going to suggest uniform until I saw you were ET. I got ds into black duplicates of his school uniform for gf’s funeral because he wears his uniform (reluctantly) or joggers and will absolutely refuse to wear anything else.

But for a relative that distant, what you’ve suggested is perfect.

Harp1977 · 22/08/2023 12:37

Any friends of his who could lend you a pair of trousers and a polo shirt? That is what we do in our family. But yes, chino style shorts and a polo would work well, and he would get some wear out of them if the weather is good when they go back to school.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 22/08/2023 14:06

In similar circumstances I've just put them into clean tracksuit / jeans/ hoody and clean shoes. At 11, so long as they're clean and tidy it's fine (also ET kids so no uniform & I definitely wouldn't buy anything school-like for them!)
At this time of year chino shorts will be fine too.
Sorry for your loss.

SparkyBlue · 22/08/2023 15:04

At his age a tracksuit or whatever her normally wears would be fine as long as he is neat and tidy. It would actually look odd if he was all dressed up as he isn't a chief mourner. In my experience people will be dressed in all sorts. I'm sorry for your loss.

DiscoBeat · 22/08/2023 16:48

Are you in Ireland @DiscoBeat ? I think I'd prefer to leave him at home than buy trousers, shirt and shoes to be worn for one hour.
No, England. I didn't realise the dress code was different in Ireland, sorry, in which case the outfit you suggest would be absolutely fine, of course!

Turfwars · 07/09/2023 15:37

Clean, sober colours (except if you've only a bright coat) no glaring logos and you'll be grand. I've usually dressed DS in dark jeans, his black runners and a plain top and he's been well presented in that.

Nara2k · 07/09/2023 15:39

In this heat? What you describe is fine

Bartoz · 17/09/2023 21:16

A tracksuit is not appropriate for a funeral at any age. What's wrong with people?
Some trousers / shorts and shirt will do fine . School shoes (cleaned).

SparkyBlue · 18/09/2023 11:02

@Bartoz just to freak you out even more my DC all wear runners to school

Bartoz · 18/09/2023 13:11

SparkyBlue · 18/09/2023 11:02

@Bartoz just to freak you out even more my DC all wear runners to school

So do mine.

Rockbird · 18/09/2023 13:26

As long as he's clean, tidy and respectful it doesn't matter what he wears IMO. We've had our fair share of funerals in the last couple of years and the children have worn all sorts. Polo and shorts sounds absolutely fine.

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