Town or village?? Dilemma!

[Vic820331]

Hi there,

We moved to Ireland a couple of months ago and couldn’t be happier.

However, we are facing a bit of a dilemma. When we moved we took a rental wherever we could get one because property was so scarce and the idea was always to purchase a property near to the centre of a town. We now have the opportunity to move into the centre of town just like we planned but in the weeks it’s taken for that to happen we are really enjoying life in the Village we are in, including my little boy really liking his school (junior infants), joining in the local hurling club, library, playground, playgroups and just generally being somewhere super friendly.

It’s very tempting to try and stay here now but I have a few questions about whether we should go back on our initial plan.

I’m worried that when my boys get a bit bigger they’ll want more access for stuff with friends and there isn’t any easy way to get to town (30 mins away), I am also finding out that childcare is super scarce and my younger son is currently at home with me but that means I can’t work (I’ve always worked full time so this is a huge adjustment and I’d love to be able to make my own income!). I’m wondering whether while moving my son to a new school again if it’s better for everyone to do this now while he’s so small? Or are we being unfair on him (the idea was that he’d only be at this school until summer - we didn’t really expect it to be so great). Will I regret it when he’s a teen? What is everyone’s experience?

We really need to decide now as it will dictate where we are for the next school year.

Any advice appreciated.

Hi. We live at the centre of a regional town. I love it because we're very close to main street and loads of shops, cafes etc... We're also a short walk from the town GAA club. I think it depends how car dependent you want to be. I never need to use my car to go around town. If you're living in a small village, you're going to be very car dependent. Also, the bus into Dublin is a short walk away too. Another reason I like the town is that I have an 8 year old daughter. I know that she will be in walking distance from all the secondary schools. Also, when she's 12/13 and wants to hang out with friends, I know that she can get in and out to the shops herself and I won't have as much ferrying to do. We live in a large estate and have a nice garden. However, we're obviously not in the countryside. For us it was more important to be somewhere convenient.

It's hard to know. It sounds like (by Irish standards) you are in a decent size village. Where would his secondary school be? Do you have friends?
Also I think there is a commitment by government to improve rural transport links. Now how true that will be I don't know!!

I grew up in a town of about 5,000 it was the 90s/00s so I know things were different. From age 8 I could just walk up to my friends house to play (about 500m away). Where I live now if DS wants to see any friends he will need a lift no two ways we live on a farm with no neighbours.

Childcare places are a nightmare! Everyone says you're so lucky not to be in Dublin but that doesn't mean a thing. I work, DS goes to creche, thankfully it's not too bad just 15 mins away so about a 35min round trip. Have you checked out any local creche's in the surrounding areas? Childminders are mostly word of mouth or find a local FB group.

I hate being totally car dependent so I'd probably prefer a town but you seem very happy and content and where you are living sounds lovely . However I will say schools in general are great so that shouldn't be issue if you do move.

I live in a village and I love it. But we both came from a similar childhood so I suppose we are used to it. DS has got cousins next door that are in their teens/heading to Uni so it's kind of shown us what the teen years are like.

Teen activites: Cons - you have to drive them everywhere. Pros - you have to drive them everywhere (so they are unlikely to get off their faces at a disco if mam is picking them up!) But in a village, it's usually very easy to carpool - you are all in the same situation so it suits everyone to do it.

Or what SIL did was drop the kids at the disco, then go for a meal or a drink (no alcohol for the driver, obvs) with another mammy nearby until the kids were ready to be picked up. You've more insight into how their night went, who they were with, and that they were actually where they said they would be. My friend in the local town was at her wits end with her teen who could just walk out the door uptown and not come home for hours, not knowing where she was or who she was with.

The bus service to schools is decent here. Local schools are pretty good, so either way we choose, we've got a good school.

I WFH 2 days a week, DH is hoping for 2-3 days WFH (job hunting at the moment) but if he goes back to an office based role I'm going to have to think of a creative solution as my 11yo will age out of creche next year, and I'm not keen on him being a latchkey kid in those years. And even when older I think that teens benefit from having someone there right after school to bounce things off - but we both have to work so something has got to give.

I've built up a good network of friends here, and they are all willing to help with childcare in a pinch, as am I so maybe we can pool resources that way for a few years, I dunno!

Your son sounds very happy in his present school which is mixed sex , presumably. So were ours but they hated the Boys National School they transferred to at 7.

Eventually we had to transfer them to a rural school which was had smaller classes and was mixed sex. But it was 3 miles outside the town. This probably won't be an issue if your lads are into hurling - but you never can tell! Worth investigating.