Moving home to Ireland from London

[Chesterhenry]

Hi everyone, in need of some advice

Mu husband and I are healthcare professionals living and working in London the last 9 years. We are now looking to move home to Dublin with the idea to start a family later down the line once settled in jobs and housing. Before Covid we had planned to do another 2 years or so here, and had even put an offer in on a flat to buy, but that all changed once lockdown happened.

We had set May as our deadline and the closer it gets the more doubts we have. Jobs in Ireland in the HSE and healthcare in general are bleak. We are both highly trained therapists and there is a need for therapy in general from what I can see but no jobs to match the demand. I'm also scared of the culture shock. Ireland and Dublin specifically feels completely familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. I worry about that same small town vibe in where everyone knows everyone, and then also worry that I won't fit in or feel at home anymore.

We're driving ourselves mad going in circles at this point. Has anyone done it? regretted it? missed the vibrancy and culture of London? This feels like the biggest decision we've ever made, even more so then getting married or moving here in the first place. Shouldn't it feel easier if it's the right next step?

Any comments or experience welcome!

OP I’m not sure moving back in the middle of a pandemic is the best idea (would you consider deferring for a year?) but assuming you do, what’s the worst that could happen? This isn’t necessarily a no-going-back decision. If you’re worried about how things will pan out rent for a while until you get settled. If things don’t work out you could always go back to London. It wouldn’t be an admission of failure, just that that’s where you prefer living, having tried both.

Jobswise - I’m not familiar with the healthcare sector and I don’t know what line of therapy you work in but if you are willing to consider it there seems to be huge demand for physiotherapists / Occupational therapists / psychologists working privately (mainly because the public sector is so poor in these areas).

When you say you're a hcp/therapist, what specifically do you do? I'm sure you are aware the Irish health service is not well funded, but if you are a doctor/nurse/radiographer etc you should be able to find something. For more peripheral services (audiology, physiotherapy/chiropody) I agree with a pp that there is a good private market, but also a lot of competition.

Every time I look at moving back to Dublin I just can't see how people maintain a good quality of life. Yet they do! I feel like I'm missing something.

Btw if you mean therapists as in psychotherapists, I think you might struggle as this is obviously not well funded publicly but also often excluded from health insurance. Even if you are qualified clinical psychologists there is need but not funding.

Thanks both for your replies

We are a physiotherapist and Speech therapist. Private market seems lucrative enough in Ireland and that's what our families are pushing us towards but alas, I much prefer the team working that comes with the NHS and that I would hope would be replicated a bit in the HSE. However I'm very realistic that HSE is lightyears behind NHS in lots of ways and that private will likely be the only way to secure employment at the start.

We plan to rent and have somewhere lined up already for 6 months with opportunity to extend so we're lucky that we have somewhere to go! The culture shock is really worrying me as well as jobs. London has so much to offer and I do love how diverse it is. However I keep thinking 'can I see myself here at 60' and I don't know if by then the gloss will have worn off such a busy city. Maybe I'm over thinking it!?

I agree that Dublin is a better place to grow old (and grow up, in my opinion). Plus your jobs are moderately paid and living in a good area to raise children will definitely be more affordable in Dublin than London.

There are public sector jobs in both of those specialties (easier to get one in physio - my DB's SIL works in a community physio team and I believe the standard of care would compare well to the NHS). Both are also covered by insurance, and there are lots of private health clinics where different therapies are offered, and you would still have colleagues, if not a team as such.

I think there is loads going on in Dublin if you seek it out. But yes, every time I walk through an lár and basically get to the end of it in 20 minutes, I think "this would take some getting used to".

I think you should give it a go. I would, what with Brexit, travel difficulties etc, except for DC in school.

I moved back in 2007 😩 it was hard in some ways but life is life and I did make things harder for myself by thinking about london for a while. Found a job. Commute is not too bad. DC happy.

Im glad im here not there. I loved london, but yeh, would prefer to grow old here.

I cant comment on the jobs issue, but worrying about missing the vibrancy of london is not the right mindset! I was probably a pita, talking about london all the time. I felt superior to non londoners when i lived in london 🙈

How often do you go out in london now?

I've moved from Manchester home to small town NI & it was a culture shock but had a 1 year old & missed family & suddenly wasn't out as much. Didn't want to commute so ended up giving up my career. Love it here & for all its flaws, I wouldn't want to raise my children anywhere else. Good time imo to test it. Think of it as a secondment with options. If you can find employment, great. There will always be sacrifices so do what's best for future you

Can you take a career break from your current jobs? I did that before, the terms were that I couldn't do paid employment within the UK, have a look on HR intranet policies.
I love London, would absolutely love to live there but can't afford a house there.
Ireland has changed but there is imo still more small-mindedness in general, but it can only diminish over time.

I moved to Dublin from London, but I wasn't moving home in the way you would be. Will you be planning to live in the area/s you grew up in so possibly near family and friends? Depending on where you live there probably will be a small town aspect but if you are planning on starting a family you may not mind this so much as your social lives will change anyway. It's definitely not as anonymous as London so it depends on how much you like that side of things.

I did find Dublin small to start in comparison to London when I first moved here but I prefer it now. Less travelling to meet friends for a drink. Close to the sea. Doesn't take long to drive to some lovely countryside etc etc.

I can't comment on the job aspect.

Not much is going on at the moment with Covid however so moving now might make you notice the changes even more as less going on to distract you.

Oh and you probably won't feel like you fit in to start with, but I do think that fades with time.

Thanks everyone, definitely food for thought.

In answer to some questions, we hope to eventually buy in Dublin where our family are. @buckeejitWe do go out in London pretty frequently and make the most of the city, even with covid we’d be out exploring different boroughs most weekends when able.
@Potaytocrisps A career break would be the dream but I’m on fixed term contract and I know husbands work wouldn’t be keen.

@TheYearOfSmallThings agree ireland is better long term for family and I think staying any longer is just kicking the can down the road. husband firmly believes if we decide to stay then that’s us deciding to make a real go of it here in the long term, even if we have kids. However London with kids and no family support network looks really tough. Not impossible, but tough. We’d have to move out of the city a bit which I’d be reluctant to do.

@31RooCambon I agree, definitely not the right mindset. I’m trying to be more positive but can totally see myself being that annoying person comparing everything to what we had in London. Working hard to shake it though!

Since having dc I am less into going out on the town. However, it's easy to nip over to London or another city for a few days & suck up all the city stuff. I much prefer having space in my home & easy access to the sea & country day to day.

I doubt you'd regret it & the sooner you try, the sooner you'll know

How has your thinking progressed @CamdenQueen? Have you made any decisions. I think the decision making period is almost the worst bit. My husband and I have decided we’re going to road test Ireland starting with renting a house this summer (without seeing much of my family who are in Dublin) so we both get a sense of what it’s like to live in Dublin - I left when I was v young 20 years ago and he’s from the UK and has never lived in Ireland so we’ve decided we need to discover it almost anew as a family. Good luck to you guys! (PS I had my daughter here and london is actually a great place to have a baby; schools are tricky esp in central-ish areas of London.

@TaraWestLondom we’ve decided to go for it, in the same spirit as yourself of road testing it for 6 months and seeing how we go. I’m hoping it’ll all l into place a bit once we go but definitely this period of deciding has been so so rocky. If we hadn’t committed to renting already then I think we would have backed out by now.

I think London would be a great place to raise children in lots of ways but I know myself I’d miss having my parents and siblings around

Good luck with your adventure! Hope it works out for you both

Good luck to you guys too! Very exciting!

I moved from London to Dublin 20 years ago (not a native but with lots of Irish family) and have never regretted it. I still adore London, have good friends there and love visiting (pre-Covid of course). I loved my time in London as a twenty and thirty something. But I knew I didn't want to stay long term.

And life as a 'grown up' is much better in Dublin. You don't get the variety and breadth of entertainment and culture as you would in London but it's a glorious city - compact, sea and mountains on the doorstep, vibrant, stuffed with culture and fun and thankfully getting more diverse.

As a poster mentioned above, there's a tendency to think London is the centre of the universe when you live there. However once you're gone a while, this feeling fades! If you feel it might get a bit staid and suffocating back 'home' just develop some new friendships and pastimes that feed that side of you.

I kept my apartment in London for a year after I moved, just in case. But I never regretted it. Obviously it could be different for you and I fully understand your concerns about careers but in terms of lifestyle and rearing a family in the future, I don't think you'd regret it. Good luck.

@camdenQueen how did you get on with your move back? I came across this thread as I find myself currently in the exact same situation- contemplating moving back to be closer to friends and fam but love London and wonder and fear we would miss our set up here. We have two boys, one has already started at a great school and it’s so hard to know how settling back in Dublin would go. Like you, I can’t see myself growing old here but there is so much I love about it at the moment. Would love to hear how the move back went and how you are settling back? Thanks for any light shed on the topic.

I moved London to Cork 20 years ago when my son was a baby (and then away again nine years ago). It was great in many ways, it was lovely to have a house with a garden rather than an apartment, and nice to be near family again. We missed London a bit, but we were also kind of over living there. The Celtic Tiger was roaring at the time, so house prices were going crazy, I believe its the same now. The bubble burst a few years later and it all got a bit depressing, so we moved away again.

In hindsight, while it felt like a good move at the time, it wasn't the right place for us. We found it difficult to make friends in Cork, its a lovely friendly city to tourists but quite close knit, friends are made in school and new friends aren't needed. Also having family nearby wasn't always a blessing! And the weather is pretty shite.

I think the main thing is to realise that its not the UK, the people are similar but different, and, like anywhere, living there is a different ball game to holidaying there. But it is a beautiful country with a lot going for it not the HSE though. Good luck!