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Original poster

Weddings and the long lost cousins

15 replies

MultiGrey · 22/01/2018 18:03

My siblings and I (and families) have all been invited to a cousins wedding next month. We haven't seen each other since we were children and even then only a handful of times as we grew up in the UK, but we did used to play together whenever we were over in Ireland for the summer.

I would really love to go, as I love a good wedding and as a chance to catch up with all the relatives, but it feels a bit cheeky as we haven't kept in contact for literally decades.

My Mum (whose nephew's wedding it is) reckons that at a typical Irish wedding, everyone is invited as they want a big do. But I'm worried that the happy couple sent out 'duty' invitations and are going to see our acceptance and sigh at the thought of forking out a few hundred euro to feed us.

Is it really cheeky of us to accept?

OP posts:

ClashCityRocker · 22/01/2018 18:08

No, they invited you!

LML83 · 22/01/2018 18:10

of course not. They mat not have expected you to go to the effort/expense as you haven't stayed in touch as much but Ian sure they will be delighted and touched that you want to come.

giveitfive · 22/01/2018 18:10

I come from a big Irish family - this is totally normal. My mum got invited to a wedding last year and she had no idea whether it was the bride or groom she was related to.... Go for the craic it will be great to catch up with everyone and reconnect with your roots.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/01/2018 18:10

Not cheeky at all, they invited you! And tell them how pleased you are to be invited!

Original poster

MultiGrey · 22/01/2018 18:16

Ah lovely, thanks all, I don't feel like a cheeky fecker now. Off to book my flights

OP posts:

butterfly990 · 22/01/2018 19:42

GeorgieBoy95 · 23/01/2018 09:40

Definitely go! They'll be delighted to have you.

I think there might be slightly different ideas about wedding gifts between Irish and English. If I was going to a wedding dh and I would give €200 in a card - I might give €150 if we didn't know the couple too well (though Dh would say I was being mean). If money was a bit tight I think it's okay to give something like a nice bottle of bubbly with €50 in card.

mathanxiety · 24/01/2018 04:59

Go!!!!

My cousins and I met adult cousins of ours for the first time at a wedding. We hadn't known of their existence until an uncle asked if it would be too much to bring them with him. Everyone had a ball.

Original poster

MultiGrey · 24/01/2018 21:45

Thanks for everyone's encouragement, flights and hotel booked, really excited.

And thanks Georgie for the tip re wedding gifts.

OP posts:

hollyisalovelyname · 27/01/2018 09:42

GeorgieBoy
Good point re wedding gifts.
I am always on Mumsnet when I read about wedding gifts at English weddings.

Ophelialovescats · 27/01/2018 09:47

Great way to catch up reacquaint and make new friends ....love these types of weddings. Although my own wedding was tiny ,no cousins invited and they still invited me to theirs .
I am ex Catholic tho and find the using of the church for these occasions a bit hypocritical of many of my rellies as they don't practice...but, hey, the craic is mighty!

Trills · 27/01/2018 10:04

They invited you.

If you show up, they made it happen.

If they didn't really want you then it's their responsibility to grow up and not send invitations to people they don't want.

DramaAlpaca · 31/01/2018 21:44

Glad you are going, you'll have a ball catching up with the cousins. There's nothing like a big Irish wedding.

Good point re presents. At our wedding we couldn't get over how generous DH's Irish family were compared to my English family.

Nothing was said of course, obviously we were grateful for everything, but there is a definite cultural difference.

lorelairoryemily · 31/01/2018 21:56

Definitely go!! And as a pp said €200 is about right for a present, we got married last September and that was the average present(we're Irish!)

OhCalamity · 04/02/2018 16:16

Weddings can often be an ideal excuse to get families together that wouldn't see each other all that often. Especially the older generation. You got an invite because they wanted you there.

Go and enjoy - re the gifts thing though, if either of you are unemployed or a student, a big cash gift would not be expected at all, and very often, the costs involved for someone travelling home for a wedding from far away would be seen as enough expense on your part without an additional large cash gift in a card. So a modest amount will be fine too.

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