Sleep pod on the bed next to me?

[68degreesnorth]

Hi

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and trying to plan the sleeping arrangements... I already have a cot at the other end of my bedroom, but am thinking I'll need something closer for the first 6 months. There's no space for one of those next to me cots by my bed, but I'm wondering if I could get one of those Purflo pods or something similar and put that on top of the duvet in the space next to me? It's a king sized bed so plenty of space (and I'm alone in it). Would that be safe? And work? I'm thinking it will be too draining if I have to drag myself to the far end of the room (it's an open plan loft) every time I need to check on or feed the baby.

What do you ladies think??

🤎

Have you thought about changing your bed to a double? That would give you a good few inches extra space to have a next-to-me crib.

@notasillysausage yes the cot base is currently raised to its top setting. What makes the Moses basket safer, is it purely because its got 'holes' in it?

@whatswithtodaytoday

Sadly, although the bedroom is quite big, because of the weird ceilings and shapes it's the only place the bed can be, I've tried any number of configurations since I moved here 😅

@68degreesnorth

Ok - so that's why I looked into the pods because I thought it was dangerous to have to the baby in the same bed as me. The Purflo sleep tight has awards for it's safely features - firm, flat and breathable. Would mean I've got no chance of rolling over the baby. And my own mattress is far too soft for the baby. I don't see how co-sleeping would be safer? 🤔

Cosleeping it’s unsafe if it’s done in a safe manner. Even if your not planning on doing it you should read up how to do it safely because who knows what you may do a 3 in the morning when you’ve only slept in 90 mins chunks for a week. Cosleep in risk when it’s unplanned.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

@Soontobe60 there's a thought 🤔 although gosh... don't think I want to go through the whole bed and mattress purchase again for myself in order to get space for a next to me crib. Until I sell up and move to a bigger place, it has to be as it is for now...

Cot at the end of the bed so for with DS 2.5 months would be fine but it wouldn't have been used with DD because she's a terrible sleeper and bedsharing was the only way to survive 🙃

I took the mattress topper off to make our bed safe for bedsharing with DS but he's barely ever in it. Is have replaced the mattress if the whole thing was too soft and he was like DD.

@olderthanyouthink sounds like a realistic scenario - a firmer mattress topper might work! What did you do about your duvet when bed-sharing though?

It's down by my hips and I use a holey blanket on my tummy and dress warmer. A hot water bottle at my feet helps when it's really cold.

I wrapped my duvet tightly around my waist so it was much lower down than the baby and no loose ends which could go over her. I also gave in and ended up swapping my bed for a firm futon on the floor, still cosleeping now at 15 months

@olderthanyouthink that's a good idea, thank you, appreciate it! 🙏

@Nowisthemonthofmaying thank you, all great advice 🙏

I'm like a star fish though when I sleep. If I ever sleep that is, I barely (barely as in 0.5 hrs one night, nothing the next night, 3 hours after that, 60 hours wide awake, then just 1 hour... etc etc) slept for a period of 5 years after which I collapsed and developed a chronic illness which saw me bedbound for a very long time. My sleep has not yet recovered since that period of my life, but anyway I'm going beside the point - which is that IF I do go into deep sleep (which I rarely do) I roll over onto my back and sleep like a starfish taking up the whole bed. So, that's at least part of the reason I worry about co-sleeping... But saying that, literally anything wakes me up, so a baby next to me might stop me sleeping altogether.

I suppose I could roll up a towel, like they do for babies in ICU and get a boundary between myself and the baby that way

Cosleeping is perfectly safe as long as you/DH don't smoke and you follow the safety guidance.

Using the pod as you suggest would be cosleeping against guidance, as the baby wouldn't be in the right place or position in the bed and neither are you, which means that your protective instincts don't have a chance to work. That means it's risky. Then you're also adding the risk of the product itself which is not recommended for safe sleep. Despite the "breathable" claims etc these are not protected terms and don't actually mean anything. It is not a firm flat surface which is important for safe sleep.

People use a next to me because you need something to make sure they don't roll out of the bed. If you don't have space for a next to me you could use a bed guard to achieve the same aim, or take the mattress off the frame and put it on the floor so there isn't anywhere to fall out to, or kick your husband out and sleep with your back to the edge of the bed with baby in the middle. In my experience, having coslept with three babies, they tend to gravitate towards your breast and aren't at great risk of falling out anyway but it is sensible to have something to reduce the chance just in case.

OTOH there is nothing wrong with the cot being at the end of the bed, that's where I've had it when I had them in a separate cot because the cosleeping cot was at the side.

You absolutely do not want a barrier between you and the baby.

When you cosleep you will naturally go into a C shape like the recovery position around the baby. There have been sleep studies done and people do this instinctively. You won't sleep in the starfish position even if that's how you sleep normally. The C-position ensures that you do not roll onto them and also seems to give you a kind of awareness of them as they sleep. For example I find that I adjust the baby's coverings in the middle of the night without really waking up, and I would wake up before they were sick, things like that.

Think about it, a towel is much softer and less wriggly than a real baby. If you don't think that the baby itself will be uncomfortable enough for you to notice you've rolled onto, a towel isn't going to be a barrier either.

@BertieBotts great advice - thanks a million 🙏

For all those saying the nest isn't safe the one I think the op is talking about IS safety tested and approved for overnight sleep. It's a new to market product and the only one that is approved.

purflo.com/sleep-tight-baby-bed-botanical/

Who approved it though?
No nest is approved by the lullaby Trust as they have raised edges which is against SIDS guidelines

@BertieBotts I think now I've read all of that it's pretty definite for me that I'll need a next to me crib. With my extreme difficulties in sleeping myself, I most certainly wouldn't be able to sleep with the baby in my bed like you describe. I don't even sleep in the same room as my partner for that reason. So, next to me crib it is, I'll just have to squeeze it in somewhere. Thanks ever so much, my head is a bit clearer now! 🙏🙏🙏

@Dobbyafreeelf yes that's the one I had (almost) decided to buy - until jumping onto Mumsnet

@dementedpixie

Who approved it though? No nest is approved by the lullaby Trust as they have raised edges which is against SIDS guidelines

It's been put through all the relevant safety tests! Tested to the same standards a carrycot or Moses basket have.

@Dobbyafreeelf thanks, that was precisely what I thought!!

You sleep differently with a baby there, your brain knows. You don’t move as much (which isn’t great for your back and shoulders after a while but is fine for a few months).

@Dobbyafreeelf

which means my original idea wasn't so bad after all! The PurFlo seems amazing and would potentially resolve all my problems

[quote 68degreesnorth]@Dobbyafreeelf yes that's the one I had (almost) decided to buy - until jumping onto Mumsnet [/quote]
Your mistake was calling it a nest! It's deliberately been named as a baby bed not a nest - because of the issues with the nests historically and they also sell a traditional nest.

If you look at pushchair expert on Facebook they did a live with Purflow a week or two ago on it.