Summer holidays not going away

[Totallyfrazzledmum]

Starting to feel stressed about the summer holidays, we cannot afford to go away anywhere and looking for ideas but most day trips look super expensive. 3 primary age children who are very demanding :(

You'd also do well to avoid large garden centres, the sorts that also sell Christmas decorations, fish etc as that's another place that people take their DC for an hour or two of free or cheap entertainment.

I was surprised when I saw one near me (Tong Garden Centre) mentioned on here as somewhere to take DC, but found out why when I tried to go once because I genuinely wanted to look at plants, or perhaps buy something from the shoe or food sections and gave up when I couldn't even get in the car park, but when I later looked on the website, I saw it has a massive soft play, and all sorts of other attractions.

When I was young DM used to take us on bus rides. It helped that we lived in the middle of a large county, such that a family day ticket for unlimited bus and train travel was only a few quid so we could be out all day visiting new parks for not very much and we almost always took a picnic, but sometimes could have an ice cream.

I have also reached the point that if my children complain there is nothing to do (despite a ton of toys, board games, garden toys etc) I say they are welcome to do some house work. One of them actually seems to quite enjoy it- the other one stops complaining pretty quickly. They do need some time just to play and learn how to entertain themselves.

One of the things that does kill a bit of time at no cost is getting them to help cook on rotation. Mine also like den building with the sofa cushions. There is a lot you can do at no cost that they can enjoy.

I have also reached the point that if my children complain there is nothing to do (despite a ton of toys, board games, garden toys etc) I say they are welcome to do some house work. One of them actually seems to quite enjoy it- the other one stops complaining pretty quickly. They do need some time just to play and learn how to entertain themselves.

One of the things that does kill a bit of time at no cost is getting them to help cook on rotation. Mine also like den building with the sofa cushions. There is a lot you can do at no cost that they can enjoy.

You don’t have to do stuff. They have three weeks of organised activities so I’d be looking at playing at home, trips to the park, that sort of thing.
My happiest times with my boys was a leisurely morning without rushing them off somewhere. They’d stay in their pjs, watch tv, play, draw. Then perhaps we’d bake or if it’s hot play outside then maybe a walk to the park, them on scooters.

Have a look at Play Hooray and Five Minute Mum on Facebook/Instagram for ideas for cheap / no cost ways to keep them entertained.

Do your children have Blue Peter badges? Might be worth applying if not and the application itself could fill half a day. They give free entry to a good few attractions.

Don't discount things you would do with much younger children like feeding the ducks, junk modelling, baking,.

Could you look at listening to an audio books series together while doing something like colouring at home? My dc really remember stuff that we listened to together as a project.

Sounds like you drive, so that helps.

I'm not in Hertfordshire, but do you have any local-ish museums? The ones near us tend to have free events on for kids some days in the summer. Also agree with the NT membership suggestion, if you have places locally. The family membership is £15 per month and if you're actually going to use it, it is a spectacular bargain.

Good Lord I would not put up with this.
They amuse themselves or get roped into helping with chores.

DC: What are we doing tomorrow?
You: I am gardening and doing 2 loads of laundry. Do you want to help me or would you rather play with your toys.

Next day
DC: I'm bored, what are we doing?
You: I am vacuuming the floors. Please would you do this? No? You can't be that bored then. (They hastily exit the room)

Next day
You: We are going to the supermarket at 10am, make sure you are ready.
DC: That is boring, why can't we do anything fun?
You: Because we need to buy food and I am not leaving you in the house by yourself. I could switch it to 2pm after lunch, would you prefer that? (old trick of giving them a choice).
DC: OK, after lunch (in sulkiest tone possible)
You: (ignoring tone of voice) that is fine then. Go and play, I have more laundry to do this morning, or do you want to help?

Why are they very demanding, what have you done to address this?

Trust me I would prefer to have 3 weeks free family childcare rather than paying 100s for clubs which whilst they do enjoy I don’t think they see as any sort of treat.

Yes I like the ideas given so thanks for that, I think the issue is they argue so much we often give up with nice home activities as it descends into chaos. I have already started to hint about the summer holidays and will ask what low cost things they would like to do.

they are very demanding just based on their personality I think, plus I have always preferred getting out and about and doing things when able in bad weather rather than having screens on all day at home which is what they want to default to.

Dunno maybe I am just crap at parenting ? They want do be doing exciting fun stuff at all times.

I think if you can lay out a timetable and be clear about what is planned that might help?

I have to be out and about for at least some of every day too

Could you do a home swap for a week OP? With someone in a totally different area? Herts is convenient for London so ideal for day trips for others.

My DM would give us jobs to do if we complained we were bored. We were also made to be outside in the summer holidays unless it was raining.

Thank you for starting this thread OP, and to all the PPs for these wonderful ideas, I'm really excited to try some of them!

I feel you op. This is the second summer of us not being able to afford to go away. Dh was made redundant over a year ago and hasn’t been able to secure another job other than a part time minimum wage job and it’s crippling us financially. We have a family member who has a static van on a site on the south west coast and who would let us have the van for free for a week (this is what we usually do) but we couldn’t even afford to do that as no extra money for petrol or the odd fish and chips/ice cream treat.
Im feeling very hard done to and sorry for myself at the moment. Ds is a teenager so doesn’t need so much entertaining but really wish we could just get away as I feel like we all need a holiday .

One thing my 12 year old loves is finding a recipe, going to lidl to buy ingredients and then cooking .

Fair enough. The thing we like about camping is about how little we can take. Otherwise where’s the adventure? May as well stay at home.

You don’t need to cook whilst camping. The main thing we take our pocket stove for is for the coffee pot because we like the home comfort of morning coffee. That’s not to say we never cook but we don’t need to. Much of what we eat doesn’t require refrigeration and doesn’t need heating. We don’t take plastic crockery or cutlery, just 2 mugs because of the coffee. But regular mugs are fine, you don’t need special mugs. If we cook (porridge or pasta or something) we use the same mugs, and a couple of forks. Again, regular forks work fine. We do tend to carry a bottle of water.

I’ve never put a camping stove on a table, we have an MSR pocketrocket, and just do it on the ground.

Torch, fair. But airbed are extras not essentials. We do not own an airbed, but as I say would recommend the foil mats to avoid getting cold. We have roll mats.

Ultimately I suppose it’s what you’re willing to put up with. I consider us having “all the gear”, pre kids we were backpack campers but never without wine or coffee so would carry a fair amount of weight. But a lot of the things mentioned in this thread aren’t necessary imo.

I stand by my comment, you don’t need to spend £££.

Great thread thanks for the ideas everyone.
My approach is to get passes to one place which we go on repeat, although obviously that requires some initial investment. Then the other thing is to plan in things that I will enjoy/ ways to rest. For us this is a nature walk in the morning - we go to a local nature reserve, worth looking up your local wildlife trust (they often suggest a donation but it is not mandatory) and then we don’t have screens until 4pm when they can watch an hour of TV and I have an hour to myself before dinner. Worth thinking about how to meet your own needs/ actually enjoy it yourself.

National trust membership could be an option. It’s £14 a month and they have loads extra stuff happening over the holidays

Go to places that are free like parks and take a picnic. Buses are free for kids this summer. Camping for a week if you can manage it- if you can cobble together gear there’s a site near Poole that’s £10 a night, can’t be the only place either

I was looking at tbe website for pet sitting. You can stay for free in exchange for feeding a cat or walking a dog. Often family homes who welcome families to stay. Other than that we didnt go away last year and it was all fine. Lots of places do a summer pass for example our local trampolining place has a summer pass. National trust family ticket for one adult plus kids is good value. We have a local castle and i got the family pass and used it all year. If you find an attration where they have a lot to do and have a reasonable price adult plus kids ticket it can really make things easier
One year I got an adult and two kids pass for the nearest seaside amusement and mini theme park. We went about 20 times in the year and every time the kids were bored and I needed to get out then we could just go there. Over the year it worked out much cheaper than finding and funding individual days out.
Also something I did one year was park finding. We tried out a new playpark as often as we could and rated them. Thats quite fun and free. Even tiny little parks with a few swings, just a new park and get the kids to rate them.
Also check your council website for free or low cost summer camps.
One year i also sent my eldest to PGL. We couldnt afford for us all to go on holiday but my super active eldest needed something adventurous so he went to a week long PGL himself.
Summer camps can be paid for with tax free childcare or many are free for low incomes if you check the council websites.
Oh and geocaching is super fun. Get the app and then spend hours finding geocaches around your area. That is a really fun and cheap activity.

My own kids are just past this age (one still in upper primary, other teen) but with a neurodiverse family and no family nearby we always had to plan well.

I always brainstormed with the kids what they wanted to do during the holiday:
-things outside of the house that were free and cost (with the realization that certain things are too expensive to do).
-what they would like to do at home if it's good weather vs bad weather.
-what they would like to do one-to-one with me (at home)
-books/films they want to see
-favourite meals

We'd try and make a schedule first for the week for home vs out days or split days (we'd usually get out in the morning on home days if it was dry as a whole day out was often too much for them).

Because one of mine is AuDHD I made sure to plan in one-to-one activities with each of them at some point during a weekend/every few days and safe activities with the other one to do with less supervision.

I sometimes bribe my kids with activities like reading (e.g. favorite snacks or they get to pick dinner).

Walks - playground hopping (we could spend the whole day walking or cycling round our city), taking our pick from local woods/canals/fens/parks/river/nature or botanical garden, or combining with a city walk - lots of free resources online to make our own guided walk. We take binoculars/bird book or if heading to park football/frisbee. All of this is free (if we walk cycle there) or minimal petrol cost. Always take your own flask of tea/coffee and lunch/snacks with you.

Free museums (in the UK I guess this is more! No museums are free in the country I live in). Travel would be the cost here. We would always take our own food and drink from home.

Train travel is quite cheap for young kids where I live so exploring another city is an option (but need to plan ahead).

Library.

Look up events in nearest town. Often there are free festivals/performances/lunchtime concerts. In the last month there's been a music festival in my city (mini free 30 minute concerts both weekend days) and. a fantasy festival with lots of kid friendly interactive activities around the town.

We have some cinema vouchers knocking around so am waiting to see what to take them to this summer. I will buy snacks at home to save money (I don't eat at cinema anyway). Cost - parking unless we cycle!

Board game/cards afternoon. If it's sunny we set up in the garden, lots of drinks and snacks to keep us going.

Cooking/baking - this is the type of thing It's hard to do with both my kids at the same time, so we negotiate what activities they can do by themselves.

Downtime - TV or gaming or reading...anythign that doesn't involve a lot of input from me!

Music practice.

Arts and crafts - sometimes this is organized/structures, sometimes I just plonk a lot of stuff on the tabel and let them crack on. My oldest DS loves digital art but is also making a dragon hand puppet out of cardboard atm.

Do a chart together with ideas for days out. Get a big sheet of paper, coloured pens and all come up with ideas of where to go.
Do you have a budget?
could you go away for 1-2 nights somewhere?

Park with bikes, balls, frisbees and picnics.
Some of the national trust or country parks have really good playgrounds for kids. Pay for parking and take a picnic, buy an ice cream.
libraries - they’ll do some activities, get them on the reading challenge and they can give you info on free council run activities throughout the summer.
swimming pools or any adventurous pools/waterparks in your wider area?
beach
forests - find some with deer locally and get kids to see what they can spot
castle
museums
Large paddling pool in your back garden if you have a garden.