Sick of having plenty of money on paper but not enough to actually live!

[MrsMop2026]

We get around £3,000 a month on paper that is loads.
Shouldn’t be struggling at all but why am I always struggling to put clubcard vouchers & pennies together at the end of the month.

Rent - £1,200
gas & elec - £300 (paying back some debt)
council tax - £150
water - £35 (on a special tarfif)
petrol - £200 (but obviously that’s now going up and god knows what that will come too - and yes I use my free bus pass where I can and no I can’t use less)
cats - £200 (i have four so it’s expensive Im trailing the cheaper supermarkets litter at £2.99 for 10 litres atm so hoping to get this down and next I will try cheaper cat food)
Food - £600 (cant get this cheaper ones diabetic other has AFRID)

leaving me with £260 a month but that just seems to go so quickly with school uniform, school trips, the occasional day out. :(

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do expensive days out, takeaways are a luxury in this house.
It is so stressful isn’t it? How does everyone else manage?

You have four cats - one of which is a diabetic and the other has AFRID.

£3000 a month isn’t “loads” - it’s only £36k a year.

Your husband is unemployed because you have a diabetic cat. That’s not an excuse at all. A relatives dog was diabetic. No one stopped working to become an unpaid carer for a diabetic cat.

Your lazy husband needs to get a job. You need to earn more money.

I just found it on seek back at the start of 2018. Left an old toxic job before Christmas, basically walked out and didn't return. Announced to the family I'd rather work from home and I'd look into it I was met with yeah good luck with that you'll only find pyramid schemes.
Ended up landing a job in medical admin all remote they don't have an office so no chance of being told to go in. Worked out great.
But since covid I know a lot of companies are allowing work from home some fully others mostly/hybrid. But they're out there.

Been looking for some new opportunities lately and there is quite a few out. Remote admin or typist jobs are aplenty. I know a lot of utility or insurance companies often have work from home.

Just plain not working is a cop out for many. Most people can work doing something even with health or logistics challenges. It's pure laziness to say can't work because of (insert reason here). Because jobs aren't a one size fits all there are so many types to suit almost anyone. Ever since I met a colleague with MS on a walker and had to go to the bathrooms to give herself injections into her legs at lunch time - if she can work anyone can work because most people are doing better than her but yet use anything as an excuse not to work and expect the government to provide for them. Just a cop out and I absolutely think benefits are too lenient to provide for lazy people.
There are jobs that suit every ability and fit in with all sorts of times... Anyone struggling who chooses not to work because if whatever excuse it is today does not deserve to be compensated by the government to loll around. It's always been my pet hate because I have known too many people in my life crying poor because the government changed payment structure on them and they are more than capable of working themselves. Again I know people have shit going on.. Don't we all.. But majority of people complaining on benefits could absolutely support themselves because jobs are so varied. Unless you're not of sane mind at all then you can find SOMETHING.

Her children are diabetic and have autism/AFRID. Not her cats!

Child not cat!

Not sure what I said to deserve that rant because I do, and always have, worked. But if you cannot muster the empathy to imagine why it might be hard for some people to work (especially in the current job market), I probably won't engage with you further.
Although I do think you should message the OP and let her know what jobs would suit her husband's situation as clearly you know of a job that allows people to take loads of time off to deal with their children's medical needs and appointments.

I'd also love to know about these easy to get work from home jobs where they are happy with you attending multiple regular appointments for your child and also care for your high needs child on the occasions they can't manage school all day.

If you find them, let me know!

But, to be fair, I can't work out how to get past the ATS anyway.

What?

Honestly this post is so ridiculous it actually made me laugh. Excellent response😏

You will most definitely qualify for UC. You rent, have a child on DLA which then also increases your UC and you have a lowish salary. I am a nurse and have two children (one autistic on DLA) and I get UC. I don’t like it but I wouldn’t survive without it.

I've had cats that need medication. Its a full time job keeping up with that, because:

How to give a cat a pill ... and a dog, too
How to give a cat a pill:
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.

So you can't compare dogs and cats when dogs will just wolf down anything that looks like food.

I know many many people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes- they work themselves let alone needing a carer on uc to support. Why does diabetes need a SAHM parent please?

I don't think it is quite as straightforward as that. OP's posts explain why.

No they don’t OP won’t even say the age of the child

They have a disabled child. It’s not possible for them both to work full time. As has been pointed out. Repeatedly.

Because the child isn’t able to independently manage their diabetes. For some diabetics managing their condition can involve testing (or checking the meter) hourly and administering insulin/eating the correct amount of macros (which need to be worked out using a machine and knowing the macro value of individual quantities of foods consumed) on that basis. Blood sugars can rapidly increase /decrease due to exercise, temperature, stress or excitement levels. For some people it’s a full time, invasive and complicated job to manage. I managed care homes for 24 years for with adults with LD and physical disabilities. I always found the care of the diabetics the most complex and immediately risky to deliver, even with modern tech around monitoring and testing. It’s not easy at all.

Why does the age matter? The child is unable to control their diabetes.

it matters because if they are going to school then her dh can work in those hours! It matters because it gives perspective on whether he will be home for the next 2
years or 5’years.
i know several families with T1D children and they all work.
my best friend from school is T1D and her parents worked..she was managing it herself as a teenager. So yes it matters…

I also know people with Type 1 which is completely under control, but I think OP has two children who both need care??

You don't think that there might be a different between a child and adult with type 1 diabetes?

OP's child is newly diagnosed and it sounds like their diabetes isn't quite under control yet. OP has already said that they are working towards independence but with a child, it isn't going to happen overnight.

OP also has a child with autism.

OP, you say your husband is looking for work when you are at home, do you live within commuting distance of a hospital?

The NHS is severely understaffed since Brexit, particularly in roles like porters, house-keeping staff and orderlies which don't require formal qualifications. Flexible working is available from day 1 (including amended hours if your husband is a carer) so he could request to work only at nights or weekends.

Your local NHS trust website should have details of vacancies.

OP's husband is looking for work! Are people not reading properly?

lol - I have very close experience of a 3yo who was diagnosed aged 3. Guess what ? I mean you won’t be able to guess the employment status of both her parents!

He can work - they just don’t want to. Opposite shifts or weekends - but this ‘ere ‘Umble poster had not even CONSIDERED benefits - I’m glad someone has suggested a grand a month from the public purse. That’ll defo encourage him back to work!

I genuinely think claiming benefits for having a kid with diabetes is likely to be one of the reasons many people think the benefit system needs reform.

Did the family also have a child with autism? We aren't only talking about a child with diabetes here. If you have close experience, you should also know that one experience with a child who has diabetes doesn't mean that it is the same for every child with diabetes.

read the thread. The OP doesn’t say she needs the extra money for the autism diagnosis (he’s already getting cash for that) he also starts off looking for work … but by mid point in the thread is not able to. Which is it?

you do you hun - but people claiming for their kids crohns / diabetes / anxiety are going to get a fiscal shock relying on benefits after the reforms that are coming.
OP doesn’t say how old the kid with diabetes is btw - a 3 year old is a different kettle of fish to a 15 year old. I suspect we are looking at much older than 3 as they are suggesting them becoming more independent. Are we happy for her DH to be at home ad infinitum?

What DLA reforms are coming? I haven't heard anything about that.

Having 2 children, one with autism and one with newly diagnosed diabetes is always going to be a struggle for both parents to work due to the amount of appointments and calls from school they will have. OP has also mentioned struggling to find after school clubs and holiday clubs willing to take on her child who is diabetic (so I'm assuming older than 3 but younger than 15).