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Sick of having plenty of money on paper but not enough to actually live!

427 replies

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 17:31

We get around £3,000 a month on paper that is loads.
Shouldn’t be struggling at all but why am I always struggling to put clubcard vouchers & pennies together at the end of the month.

Rent - £1,200
gas & elec - £300 (paying back some debt)
council tax - £150
water - £35 (on a special tarfif)
petrol - £200 (but obviously that’s now going up and god knows what that will come too - and yes I use my free bus pass where I can and no I can’t use less)
cats - £200 (i have four so it’s expensive Im trailing the cheaper supermarkets litter at £2.99 for 10 litres atm so hoping to get this down and next I will try cheaper cat food)
Food - £600 (cant get this cheaper ones diabetic other has AFRID)

leaving me with £260 a month but that just seems to go so quickly with school uniform, school trips, the occasional day out. :(

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do expensive days out, takeaways are a luxury in this house.
It is so stressful isn’t it? How does everyone else manage?

OP posts:
MrsMop2026 · 01/04/2026 18:00

Yes I am very pleased, I managed to complete my childs dla form this afternoon too and have popped it in the post!
Very productive day all round, husbands still going for his interview but this really will help if he doesn’t get it. Smile thank you everyone for being so kind and informative I feel like a weight has actually been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe a bit now!

OP posts:
MibsXX · 01/04/2026 18:58

Overtheatlantic · 31/03/2026 17:42

Your rent should really only be 1/3, and before anyone calls me names I know that can be difficult with rent prices being what they are.

try income of 1167 and rent is 673...... what it should be and what it actually is are miles apart

BattenbergLoves · 01/04/2026 19:28

You could have a look at the charity Family Fund. They provide grants to families with disabled children. Obviously it’s a one off but there’s lots you can use it on if you get it. Have a look at the website 😊

PlatedArmy · 01/04/2026 19:34

There are SO many work from home jobs in this day and age. Both full time and part time. Why would the one staying home with kids not look into something like this?!
That's what I do. I've worked at home for 8 years because it suits our situation and my own health.
I could be on disability but why when I can work in a job that suits me.

DefiantRabbit9 · 01/04/2026 19:48

Have you tried batch cooking? It might knock down the food bill but the trade off is you typically have to eat the same meal multiple days.

OldLadyMelody · 01/04/2026 20:19

Have you looked into UC and DLA etc?

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/04/2026 20:45

OldLadyMelody · 01/04/2026 20:19

Have you looked into UC and DLA etc?

Have you bothered to read any of op relies

PoodleMotherNutty · 01/04/2026 20:46

Lord knows I've been THERE. I truly hear what you are saying. I changed my internet to include phones (pay as you go) no landline, see if you can tack on car and house insurance to it to get a better deal. Forget takeaways, batch cook your favourite family meals accounting for diabetes portion them out carefully and freeze them, defrost in the microwave before dinner or take the meal out first thing in the morning to defrost over the day and finish off in the micro. Hot water bottles in the beds. A heated blanket on the sofa to sit on and some cosy throws for the evening. Charity shops are brilliant! get DVDs for a night in, put the candles on and get some raw veggie nibbles. DON'T drink fizzy drinks, make it milk or water instead. I buy all of my clothes from charity, and if I break a glass or plate I get one there. Going out is SO expensive, so now the weather is getting warmer, have a picnic with sandwiches and fruit as per a diabetic diet. Walking is cheap so source out walks in the countryside which will improve your mindfulness and mental health. Forget expensive beauty products, so much online to use kitchen stuff instead. You can make your own laundry detergent and forget the softener and additives it saves you THOUSANDS. Instead of watching the TV which can be expensive read books or buy games from the charity and play with the family. Instead of cat litter, is there a local woodyard near you or horse place where you can get sawdust? I haven't checked but it may work out cheaper. I had a friend who taught her cats to poo in the toilet!! Buy in bulk if you can afford it, pasta and rice at the warehouse thingy. I don't know if you have a dishwasher, but only run it when it is full, use white vinegar for rinse aid, and baking soda in the soap dispenser. Wash the pans by hand as they take up so much room. I confess I used to use washing up liquid as shampoo. PLAN MEALS so that you don't overbuy. I have a group on Nextdoor which I started called Cheapie Meals, things which don't cost the earth and taste very good. You could also try Freecycle.org which is free to join and things are free. People are happy to give as they want stuff gone without going to the landfill or they want to change their decor or kitchen. Think of it as saving the planet. Again, regarding food, you can grow your own. I don't know your housing situation, but potatoes can be grown in cardboard boxes, beans up a fence, carrots in a tub, tomatoes in a greenhouse or conservatory, parsnips in a tub, herbs on the windowsill, onions in a raised bed, dig up the lawn and plant plant plant. Your autistic child may find this incredibly therapeutic. Wear clothes for 2-3 days (change undies and socks daily), in the shower, turn on, get wet, turn off, soap up and scrub, turn on and rinse. Use lemons, salt, baking soda and washing soda to clean your house, vinegar in water for windows. Difficult bit coming!!! I must admit, that unless the cats will eat your leftovers, they WILL eat you out of house and home. 4 is lovely and provides much comfort as pets, but you simply cannot afford them. Contact cats protection and get them rehomed. I always had at least 2 jobs and at one time had 5 part time jobs, cleaning, typing, working at a petrol station, babysitting and gardening. Husband will have to take control of household duties and pitch in, having diabetes does not mean you are helpless. Look up ALL of the scrimping and saving videos on youtube and make notes. Finely tune your budget and although it is difficult, be ruthless. No biscuits or fizzy drinks!!! Eggs are good, chickpeas are protein which you can tart up with spices. Lots of soups using up everything in the fridge. Good luck, my dear, it isn't easy, but doable.

OldLadyMelody · 01/04/2026 21:04

I posted this but had missed those replies

Blueshoey484 · 01/04/2026 21:08

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 17:31

We get around £3,000 a month on paper that is loads.
Shouldn’t be struggling at all but why am I always struggling to put clubcard vouchers & pennies together at the end of the month.

Rent - £1,200
gas & elec - £300 (paying back some debt)
council tax - £150
water - £35 (on a special tarfif)
petrol - £200 (but obviously that’s now going up and god knows what that will come too - and yes I use my free bus pass where I can and no I can’t use less)
cats - £200 (i have four so it’s expensive Im trailing the cheaper supermarkets litter at £2.99 for 10 litres atm so hoping to get this down and next I will try cheaper cat food)
Food - £600 (cant get this cheaper ones diabetic other has AFRID)

leaving me with £260 a month but that just seems to go so quickly with school uniform, school trips, the occasional day out. :(

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do expensive days out, takeaways are a luxury in this house.
It is so stressful isn’t it? How does everyone else manage?

I have three cats and they don't cost me anywhere near 200 quid litter included. Even when I had six they didn't cost me 200 pounds a month

Blueshoey484 · 01/04/2026 21:12

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 18:15

I think it’s the stigma & i feel so cheeky applying I also didn’t think we’d get anything with my wages & husbands CA i thought it would wipe it out.
i am going to have to bite the bullet and put in an application!

There should be no stigma applying for Uc. Lots of working households get it - ignore people telling you to rehome your pets - pets aren't just commodities that should be palmed off. Rescues are full. If you are entitled to UC put an application in

ChefsKisser · 01/04/2026 21:30

HermioneWeasley · 31/03/2026 19:30

I can’t believe how many posters think the answer is to take taxpayer money rather than stop spending £200/month on cats. No wonder the welfare bill is out of control

This. We’ve lost our fucking minds in the UK

TwinklySquid · 01/04/2026 21:43

I don’t know why some people have been so harsh! You aren’t driving a Rolls Royce and feeding the cats Oysters every night.

I’ve seen your update on UC and DLA. Don’t feel guilty at all. You sound like you have a tough life with two kids who need a lot of support. You can only do too much and your partner has essentially a full time job anyway. It would cost the government way more to look after the kids.

I would look at an assessment of needs from the council. I had one for my disability and found it very helpful!

I don’t know what your partner has skills wise but something working from home could work. But I do get that might not work out.

Dumpspirospero · 01/04/2026 21:59

Would becoming a childminder work for your husband, OP? If he is experienced at managing T1D and Autism, he could be the specialist childcare or respite care other local families need?

Blueshoey484 · 01/04/2026 22:17

ChefsKisser · 01/04/2026 21:30

This. We’ve lost our fucking minds in the UK

Sorry. But speaking as someone who is on UC and who has always had cats. I'm not going to rehome my cats because I am poor. I haven't always been on Uc. I have worked - but I would drop dead rather than give my pets away. I don't spend 200 quid a month on my pets. That can easily be cut down

One of the adults in the home is working. That is. They pay tax. So park the judgement.

Ever tried to rehome a pet in this economic climate? Practically impossible

Blueshoey484 · 01/04/2026 22:22

Aye. The welfare Bill is going to get out of control because someone gets UC they are entitled to. If they get it they will get it due to their income and how much they pay out in rent, or if their kids have additional needs - nothing to do with the the cats. Hope that clarifies for people who don't know how a UC claim works

AnonymousBleep · 01/04/2026 23:00

£3k a month isn’t loads. It’s a combined salary of about £50k, which isn’t much for a family of 4 these days. It should be but it isn’t. Prices have gone up so much, food costs are shooting up, rents are astronomical and wages just haven’t kept pace.

Mummyof2andthatsenough · 01/04/2026 23:14

Honestly I'm not sure about diabetic diets and AFRID, but I was spending extortionate amounts of money on our grocery shopping and have really had to penny pinch. I now set myself a soft limit of £60 every two weeks (max hard limit is £70-Excluding the meat shop).We are a family of 4- 2 adults and 2 children 5 and under. I actually didn't think it was going to be possible to sustain long term, but we've been doing it for about 3 months now and it's been working out pretty good!

Goodyearforthe · 01/04/2026 23:36

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 18:55

I will cancel the cat insurance and that saves us £100 and see how we go. I’m very recluant to put them for free online you hear so many stories about dog fights using cats Sad if I knew they were going to a decent home that would love them I would be a lot happier.

Yes whatever you do dont do that. I mean don't advertise them for free on social media. Usually Cats Protection will take them but youve said they said no..Do they have a wait list? There may be friends eventually that might take them. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Kirbert2 · 02/04/2026 07:04

Dumpspirospero · 01/04/2026 21:59

Would becoming a childminder work for your husband, OP? If he is experienced at managing T1D and Autism, he could be the specialist childcare or respite care other local families need?

It would very likely need to be more than one person to manage multiple children with Autism, especially if they are requiring specialist childcare and can't cope with traditional childcare.

Not to mention that caring for your own high needs child is more than enough.

Dumpspirospero · 02/04/2026 08:18

Kirbert2 · 02/04/2026 07:04

It would very likely need to be more than one person to manage multiple children with Autism, especially if they are requiring specialist childcare and can't cope with traditional childcare.

Not to mention that caring for your own high needs child is more than enough.

Understood. It was merely a suggestion as OP had said that DH had considered establishing a hub for multiple DC with additional needs / T1D but did not have the necessary funding. Childminding seems like a less capital intensive option to do something similar. And, of course, he only need to accept clients he can manage. His own DC, while off for ten days out of the last 30, did actually attend school for 20 days out of the last 30 so it may be that DH has some capacity. I appreciate it is work not everyone can manage but given the circumstances and the fact the DH has some capacity to work, concrete suggestions might be of interest to OP.

Miyagi99 · 02/04/2026 08:51

Can you bulk buy the cat food, it usually works out cheaper. I use the wood pellets as litter, it’s cheap, doesn’t smell and better for the environment. Your energy bill is huge, hopefully that comes down when you’ve paid your debt. When there were three in the house ours only went up to £80 and that was only in the winter (Octopus).

Blueshoey484 · 02/04/2026 09:16

Olio if there's anyone in your area who does it and too good to go are also good for cutting food bills. Yellow stickers as well if there's anything near you worth buying.

I also use an app called cheddar. It's a cashback app. You buy vouchers - you can buy from asda. Tesco and Morrison. You buy online gift cards to pay for your shopping and you get cashback. It's not lots at one time but it adds up.

Plus if you do have anything spare - I use the zopa app. If you open a bank account with them you get 7.10 per cent interest

You can bulk buy cat biscuits from amazon.

Blueshoey484 · 02/04/2026 09:44

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 17:34

Yes with BT but the speed is pants, no good when you sometimes need to work from home and have a autistic child who heavily relies on it. 😅

You can get cheaper tariffs than this. My mum is with three and she pays 22 pounds a month.

Blueshoey484 · 02/04/2026 09:54

MrsMop2026 · 31/03/2026 18:55

I will cancel the cat insurance and that saves us £100 and see how we go. I’m very recluant to put them for free online you hear so many stories about dog fights using cats Sad if I knew they were going to a decent home that would love them I would be a lot happier.

Do not advertise them for free all over social media. This is the worst advice anyone could give you. I'm sure someone else has pointed out that cats can be used for bait - dog fighting rings - even if the person that picks them up looks respectable - they might not be. If you really do have to rehome them - there are charities who could help you through the process

They would help with vetting and placing them somewhere.

The cats also aren't the cause of you struggling financially - if you put in a UC claim you'll get a proportion or all of your rent paid

It's your rent and food costs that are causing this issue - far more than the pets

And don't let anyone on the boards guilt you into not applying for UC. There are many people who work in the same position as you

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