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Original poster

Do you charge adult child living at home housekeeping for when he is away on holiday

45 replies

HonestMoose · 28/08/2025 09:39

My 28yo son is living at home. He earns £45k and pays £350.00 housekeeping per month. My husband and I struggle with household bills coming in left right and centre but want to help son save for house deposit. We cant afford a holiday but son is going away for 2 weeks to Europe on mega holiday with girlfriends family (again!) which he has paid for. My question is should I charge a full months housekeeping even though he is away for half the month or just charge for the weeks he is here? He will bring home all his washing for me to do too.

OP posts:
napody · 28/08/2025 09:41

He hasn't asked you, has he? Just leave it the same. He's old enough to grasp how rent/living costs work.

Dfg15 · 28/08/2025 09:42

Of course you should. Make him do his own washing. Why are you struggling yet helping him with a house deposit?

Geneticsbunny · 28/08/2025 09:43

Why are you doing his washing for him? Yes charge him while he is away. T hats how rent works. I would also be charging more if you are struggling. Does what he pay actually cover his bills? As in is it 1/3rd of the househuld bills? He probably eats £150 of food a month.

Bjorkdidit · 28/08/2025 09:52

Of course you should charge him. £350 pm is a tiny amount of his income but it doesn't sound like he's saving that hard to move out with all these holidays.

Do you know how much he's saved and what his plans are? At 28 with a decent job, moving out should be a realistic goal, especially if he's looking to live with his girlfriend.

TheNightingalesStarling · 28/08/2025 09:54

The only cost that won't be there when he is away is food. Internet, council tax, electricity, gas, water etc still need paying. Thats life.

Original poster
HonestMoose · 28/08/2025 10:57

Bjorkdidit · 28/08/2025 09:52

Of course you should charge him. £350 pm is a tiny amount of his income but it doesn't sound like he's saving that hard to move out with all these holidays.

Do you know how much he's saved and what his plans are? At 28 with a decent job, moving out should be a realistic goal, especially if he's looking to live with his girlfriend.

He isn't saving enough and its def a problem. He does save however is very good at treating himself also so we think should be saving a lot harder.

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 28/08/2025 10:59

If you think he is not saving enough then up his board by a lot, and save some for him. Paying £350 on £45k is ridiculous. Does he actually want to move out, because he has it pretty good with you.

mondaytosunday · 28/08/2025 11:07

Yes absolutely and you should be charging him a lot more than £350! Even if he’s saving fur his own place (which I hope he is) I’d be charging him about £750 rent. And stop doing his washing!

softlyfallsthesnow · 28/08/2025 11:07

He needs to be paying you more on those earnings or he'll be with you forever.

Personally I wouldn't be saving anything for him as how will he ever learn to be responsible with his money?
And, yes, he pays you when on holiday as he would do if he had his own place. Also, spend 5 minutes showing him how to do his own washing.

JaninaDuszejko · 28/08/2025 11:08

At his age and on that salary he should be covering all his costs. So if you own your house he should be paying his share of the bills (electricity, gas, wifi, water, council tax, TV license, cleaner, gardener, window cleaner, green waste collection etc etc) plus his share of the food and drink costs. So everything but your mortgage. If you are renting he should pay towards the rent. And when J say his share I mean whatever all those bills are oer month divided by the number of people in the house.

At the moment you are paying his costs, his contribution isn't covering his share and he's living the life of Riley while you are struggling. That's not fair.

HarrietSchulenberg · 28/08/2025 11:09

Yes. He's 24, earns good money, and it's good practice for paying rent.

FrenchandSaunders · 28/08/2025 11:10

If he was renting a flat, the landlord wouldn't let him have a couple of weeks off paying the rent because of a holiday. So don't even mention it, charge the same. I think you should charge more if he's on that money and you're struggling.

And he should be doing his own washing. Do you cook and clean for him as well?

mumofsixfluffs · 28/08/2025 11:11

You should be charging him much more. If he was private renting it would cost him significantly more. It’s then up to you if you put that extra money away to give back to him as a lump sum to move out but right now he’s totally comfortable and won’t be going anywhere quickly without you giving him a shove.

Chewbecca · 28/08/2025 11:12

Do your home costs stop when (if) you go away? No. So his don't either.

Do you speak to him about saving to become independent? Please do.

Please also stop doing his laundry. Make sure he has his own laundry bin and teach him to do it himself if he doesn't already know.

You aren't doing him any favours treating him as a child.

PinkDreamer · 28/08/2025 11:12

I’m the child in this situation. I still expect to pay whilst I’m away. I’m paying £400 on £28,000 and ensure I save £1,000 a month so I think you should charge him more if you’re struggling

Claricecannotsleep · 28/08/2025 11:13

Definitely should pay every month regardless of holiday. And put his rent up to £500 per month.

GardenGaff · 28/08/2025 11:16

I adore our only child DS, but I certainly won't be subsidising his holidays when he's 28 and earning 45k a year - which is essentially what you and your husband are doing.

ThejoyofNC · 28/08/2025 11:19

He pays the full month and does his own washing when he gets back. Anything else is ridiculous.

sunights · 28/08/2025 11:29

Based on information supplied DS28 is taking advantage of his parents goodwill.
Rent should be increased to closer to actual cost- e.g. £7,000 year (I think this is also max charge w/o bring liable for taxable income).
If OP feels this is too much they can put excess in a savings account and gift it to DS28 once he moves out.

anyolddinosaur · 28/08/2025 11:33

Keep it at current level until he gets back then increase to much nearer the market rate for your area, that is likely to be at least £500 month and possibly quite a lot more.

user9064385631 · 28/08/2025 13:13

I’d increase the rent to market value, but ‘save’ the excess for him for when he moves out.
My 14yr old does his own washing during the school holidays!

cestlavielife · 28/08/2025 13:15

He pays each month regardless
And just stop doing his washing

He needs to learn how to operate w m if he is ever going to move out

will bring home all his washing for me to do too. well just say no. He is adult

There is the machine or there's the laundrette

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/08/2025 13:19

Is he saving if he’s having swish holidays?!

In these circumstances yes keep charging and I’d also review how much you’re charging him.

Ponderingwindow · 28/08/2025 13:28

Has he saved at least 10k this year? If you are only charging him 350 a month, he should be able to do that easily in his salary. If he hasn’t, he is abusing his situation and it needs to end.

why would you discount his rent? Rent doesn’t go down when we travel.

28 year olds can do their own laundry.

LoveSandbanks · 28/08/2025 13:34

The cheapest available flat share near me is £550 a month. He is going on holiday and able to treat himself because your poverty is subsidising his lifestyle. This would be forgivable at 18 but he is 28 and should not need his lifestyle subsidising.

Charge him the full amount, while he is away, and if you're not going to increase it then charge him his share of the bills on top of his rent - and stop doing his fucking washing. My 17 year old (boy) does his own laundry!