How much keep do yoy charge your adult DC?

[Moonlightfrog]

Dd is moving back home after uni. I am a single parent and full time carer for dd's younger sibling so money is tight. Of course I would love not to charge dd any keep for living at home but I cant afford to keep her (pay for her food, electric, the higher council tax now im not classed as a single occupant, wifi...etc...etc.. ).

What is a reasonable amount for her to contribute?

What do your adult dc's pay?

There are loads of threads on this topic if you do a search op. My dss is 27 and pays £250 pm. We buy all his food etc. He doesn't have to buy any extras.

My DD is 20 (working for last 2 years) she pays £450 per month including food still way cheaper than anything else locally but we don’t have to worry about the next bill dropping on the mat.

I'd look at what the rate your dc will get from UC is, that's what they are expected to use to live on so if you're providing all their food, heating, lighting, Internet, mobile etc then that's a fair amount. That's what we'll be doing.

£50 per week plus the increase in council tax. Do not provide food or do washing etc. She does her fair share of chores. Or charge more and save the difference for a house deposit for her.

maybe more if she’s one who has half hour hot showers every day.

i paid £400 a month 20 years ago without food or washing. I was also responsible for cleaning. I very soon moved out as a room in a shared house was £350 back then in my area. So check spare room.com and make sure you charge less than the going rate unless you want her to feel resentment

Thank you.
Dd will be claiming UC until she finds work though she has some disabilities and will likely only work part time. At the moment I pay her mobile phone, she has pets which I care for and that use electric (exotic pets), I still buy some of her clothes though she’s slowly getting better at doing this, I do her washing and all the cooking. We live rurally and she can’t drive so I am driving her around. I have asked her for £100 a week but her dad (who doesn’t live with us) has told her that’s too much?

I paid £50 a week 25 years ago when I was living at home.

I think basic UC rate is £300 a month.

How can she pay £100 a week from £300 a month?

We don't charge my son anything. Maybe we should.

Ds is 20 and we built him his own 1 bed flat on our property.
He pays £300 a month and no bills but he does most of his own shopping when he's not diving head first into our food cupboards 😂

I'd look up the price of a single room in a shared house and start there, that cost usually includes bills.

So if you charge her that but buy her food, or less but she buys her own she's still getting a good deal.

If you would prefer you can figure out what extra she's costing - council tax, increase in energy bills, any food etc then charge her that.

I don’t think it matters what other people do because everyone has different circumstances.
How much would half of bills be? Then she buys her own food or you buy the food but she buys and cooks for 2 nights per week?
My 16 year old is going to have to cook for himself over the summer holidays because I have about a week off work and he has 3 months holidays so I have said please can you predominately cook for yourself and I will do more or less everything else. He is fine with that.
So hopefully your daughter can cook a few meals or so a different job if you/ she would prefer.

She’s in receipt of higher rate PIP and will likely claim limited work capacity too. So she has around £1000 a month coming in. She gets mobility component of PIP which is supposed to pay for transport/getting around……I’m the one who’s providing transport.

if I could afford not to charge her anything I would but I’m my other DD’s full time carer and currently living off carers allowance though I’m working towards starting my own business to fit around dd2 so hopefully finances will change.

Where will you be transporting her to if she isn’t working?

Sadly she doesn’t cook, she does try and help. She has a lot of issues around food 😬. The only thing she really helps out with is keeping an eye on her sister and helping me take her sister out please. Both DD’s are autistic, dd2 more severely and needs 24 hour care, dd1 has mobility issues and dyspraxia but is high functioning autistic and has managed to get a degree. She’s hoping to secure work working from home but due to come of her conditions she’s is unlikely to work full time (at the moment).

Hospital appointments, gp appointments, visiting friends and trips to the job centre and shopping. We live in a rural location, the bus services here are pretty awful.

I think 400 a month is reasonable though obviously she couldn't do that in the basic UC of 316 a month . She isn't a child so needs to pay her way.

I hope it all works out for you all and she can get a part time job and help you out with bills.

Thats tricky with the food thing but maybe she could help you do the odd thing like chop up an onion. (I love food and cooking so sorry if I have gone off on a tangent).

My two friends 'charge' £500 the one and £400 the other. That includes everything

I love cooking too :)
She has a lot of sensory issues with food and a very limited diet so she doesn’t like touching most foods that I eat. I am giving her small jobs to do but sometimes it’s just easier to do them myself. She is great with her sister and she will watch her for me if I need to pop out but I don’t want to put too many caring duties onto her, but if she can’t work then I may need her to watch dd so I can work as I can’t see how we can survive with both of us not working.

Did earns £1400 and pays £200. She does he own cooking, washing and will babysit or dog walk as needed.

Likewise we charge our 28 year old DS £300 all in .

OMG I cant get over these tiny amounts

Back when I started out working in 1978, earning £42.50 take home for a 38hr week ( £2.50 London weighting ) I paid £20 house keep

DH earned £17.50 as an apprentice, he said he would give the £7.50, his dad showed him the door and said good luck finding a roof, food, heating and washing etc for that - £10 coughed up

Surely you divide the utilities by 3? or however many people live there?

Then you add on cooking the meals and supplying the food on top. The fuel you use for running pillar to post ?

I accept that she has issues, but wrapping her in cotton wool and doing everything for her won't prepare her to cope in the world moving forward

You’re right about the small amounts! My son has physical disabilities and works ( from home) so gets help from me with lifts to medical appointments etc.. however I think it might be time to up the charge a notch !!

I'm in the same financial position and my adult son is also on enhanced pip and standard mobility. I do it the other way around and keep everything except for £400 back to him to do what he wants with. He saves almost all of that, because he doesn't really have any expenses left. I use the money to provide him, and me 🤷🏼‍♂️, with a decent standard of living ie very good broadband, special food he wants and do all the cooking, driving around and administrative stuff. There's a lot of admin with a disabled person, including appointments etc. He does about half the housework. I pay for his clothes, shoes, haircuts etc.

However, he has complained 😂 and we're redoing the budget atm and looking closely at the household expenses and both of our incomes.