I don't want to go to back to work

ThatPeachMember · 2025-03-30T18:56:12+00:00

Ugh how do you do it? My baby going to be one and I'm supposed to go to work, I don't want to! He's too young for daycare in my opinion and I need more bonding time! How do u moms do it? Or how did u manage with not going back to work?

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 30/03/2025 19:57

Can you afford not to work without relying on benefits?

LadyKenya · 30/03/2025 20:01

Some women may go part time, or take a few years off from work, if supported by a Husband etc.

Mothersdayscroll · 30/03/2025 20:04

It can be tough, both my DD went into childcare at 8 months and I worked/work part time.
You just adjust to a different stage of your life. But if you can afford to be off longer than do

PatsFruitCake · 30/03/2025 20:06

For all our DC, DH and I did a mix of each working part-time with some time at nursery.

Moier · 30/03/2025 20:07

I didn't go back .. l was a SAHM.. luckily my husband was a lecturer and earned well.. we also had a house gifted to us.. so no mortgage. ..( he's still in that house with his 3rd wife).

twistyizzy · 30/03/2025 20:09

Due to being self employed I only had 3 months full time maternity leave then 3 months part time then back to full time after 6 months.
Mix of nursery + MIL.
Hated it but you just have to get on with it and at least it has meant my career hasn't suffered. I had no choice but to go back to work so just had to suck it up.

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 30/03/2025 20:22

My eldest went to a childminder at 4 months. Couldn’t afford not to go back then.

Yellowtulipsdancing · 30/03/2025 20:23

Had to go back when my child was 1. No money towards childcare by Government til child was 3yrs old. First year I worked, I only made £110 a month after childcare I’d assume I paid it all. But I got a years pension and in reality my DH and I both paid towards the childcare so was not so bad!

Bromptotoo · 30/03/2025 21:07

If baby is one then, unless there is something exceptional, you should be well bonded by now. Have you had time away while baby is with others such as grandparents?

If you have the means between you to be a SAHM then fine.

If you're on a relatively low income benefits (Universal Credit) will help until child is 3 without you being leaned on to actually take work but you'll be expected to be moving in a workwards direction

countrysidedeficit · 30/03/2025 21:14

Bromptotoo · 30/03/2025 21:07

If baby is one then, unless there is something exceptional, you should be well bonded by now. Have you had time away while baby is with others such as grandparents?

If you have the means between you to be a SAHM then fine.

If you're on a relatively low income benefits (Universal Credit) will help until child is 3 without you being leaned on to actually take work but you'll be expected to be moving in a workwards direction

Given the direction of travel with cutting benefits to "support" more people back to work (and plug gaps in the government budget), I wouldn't make any plans which rely on those rules remaining the same.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/03/2025 21:14

I didn't want to be skint so went back when baby was 6 months

FlutteryButterfly · 30/03/2025 21:18

It's nothing to do with bonding! You don't want to go back to work (and that's fine by the way!) it's whether ornot you can afford to do so. For most it's not. Hope you are able to find a happy medium. I worked part time but almost full time (30hrs) unsociable hours. It paid for ice cream and soft play.

Marianwallace · 30/03/2025 21:19

Went back, but part time (lucky to have that option) when mine were 6 months old and one was 3 months prem. As were the rules in the 1990's. No childcare financial support was available at all then.

Prettygreeneyes43 · 30/03/2025 21:24

I don’t think any mum wants to go back to work and leave her baby at the end of maternity leave. But, needs must. Make sure you’re prepared. It will be ok! Once you’ve done that first day, you and baby will get a new routine, it’s not the end. I remember my first day back, I could barely eat a thing and got tearful on the way home. It was ok if at times hard. It can get quite monotonous being off all the time and you will be glad to get a break as they get older.

Bromptotoo · 30/03/2025 21:30

countrysidedeficit · 30/03/2025 21:14

If you're on a relatively low income benefits (Universal Credit) will help until child is 3 without you being leaned on to actually take work but you'll be expected to be moving in a workwards direction

Given the direction of travel with cutting benefits to "support" more people back to work (and plug gaps in the government budget), I wouldn't make any plans which rely on those rules remaining the same.

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I take your point but the rules around benefits while not working and raising children have tightened massively already.

Cannot see the rules being tightened so as to expect parents of under threes being forced to work. Still less any such change affecting parents of current under threes.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/03/2025 21:35

The thought of going back was a lot worse than actually being back for me. We managed to do a good mixture of family and nursery for childcare. I really enjoyed going back to work and being myself again, not just 'mum'

JamSandwich27 · 01/04/2025 15:37

I had to go back to work when DS was 10 weeks old and it was awful 😢 That was due to my ex-husband being so awful with money that I needed to bring something in. Thankfully it was only part time but I still feel
like I missed out on alot, especially when I see mums with their tiny babies now.

Point being, I sympathise, and if you can afford to stay off longer then go for it. If not then part time is better than nothing.