What should I do?

[missb10]

My landlord has just given me notice as they are selling the property. Although this has not been a complete surprise to me, given the current market, it has stilll left me with something of a dilemma. The flat I am renting is on the lowest rate for private rental, in fact all other private rentals in the area are almost twice the cost, which means that I cannot afford to rent privately. The social housing is a similar cost to what I was paying, but there is a long waiting list, I wouldn't have a choice of where to live and some of it is dire. The other option is to go and live with my Mum, but she has dementia and I am aware that if she has to go into a care home she would have to sell the house and I wouldn't be able to stay there, so potentially I would be homeless. She has carers coming in also, which I wonder would be affected if I were to live with her. Financially it makes sense, but practically there are a lot of problems, e.g. I need to get up at 6.00 to get ready and go to work, would she get less help if I live with her, what would I do if she needs to go into a home? Probably other more important stuff I haven't thought of.

Besides which, I can't even afford to move. I can only just afford the rent and last time I moved two years ago, the removals cost more than that. I am just thinking of doing a house clearance, but not sure if I can afford that either.

You might not have to sell the home if your mum goes into care it depends how old you are. How old are you?

If a spouse lives with a person who needs care the house is disregarded. I don't know if tge same applies when it's a parent child relationship but worth exploring.

You're about to become homeless and unable to afford suitable housing where you live so if you're willing to live with your DM it could be a good solution.

It's incredibly unlikely that the whole value of your DMs house will be taken by care costs unless it isn't worth very much. But it might be worth looking at whether it's possible to release some of the value while also allowing you to continue living there.

Do you have siblings that would have an interest when inheritance is a consideration?

What you should do is to contact 'Shelter' and know your rights to carry on living there.

I'm an only child. What I know is that someone who lives with their parent who goes into a care home can only continue to live in the parent's house if they are over 65. That is another ten years for me and I don't think my mother will still be living in her house then. Otherwise they have to sell their home to pay for care home fees.

I'm sorry to hear about your Home being sold and you having to move out. Even though I understand your landlord's position and don't blame them for wanting to sell, it's still a shame for you.

Housing is so expensive in so many places.

If I was in your position, I would look closely at how my moving in would affect my mum's carers or any other benefits she receives and if I was able to compensate for that I would move in.

I think, because you are much younger than the cut off, you wouldn't have a'Wright' to live there when the inevitable happens (🥲) but the way I see it you're no worse off now by doing that and dealing with maybe having to sell your mum's home down the line. I mean, you can put your name on the council waiting list now I assume answer your mum need to go into the care home And the house be sold I guess you would move up the list?? I think a lot depends on what council you're with.

I don't think you have a better option right now than moving in with your mum, also maybe moving into your mum's place means you can sell a lot of your big bulky items that cost money to move you might even be able to get down to enough stuff we're friends can help you move it in their cars and vans, or if that's not an option, maybe a man with a van rather than a removals company.

You do need to consider how difficult it may be living with your mum now, but sometimes we just have to make the best of a situation that is difficult.

my thoughts are with you.

Have you checked whether Universal Credit might help with the rent?

What, in a house that's being sold? What about the landlords right to sell his property

Can you afford to buy the house at all? Have you looked into that?

@upsetbetty No, I can't afford to buy anything and anyway it's a flat.

It's a flat in a block which the owner of the block is selling, all the flats are currently occupied and we will all need to look for somewhere else to live.

I am going to seek advice from the local homelessness prevention team.

If you really think you're going to lose your stuff then sell it. Even getting peanuts is better than having to pay someone to take it away.

Are you single? Maybe you'll have to downsize to a room if you can't afford an entire flat. Do you have any friends who might want to flatshare? Half a two-bed is often cheaper than a one-bed.

Do you get along with your mother? You will face pressure to be her carer from the authorities and she may only want you living there on the condition you are her carer. She may well go around telling everyone they're not needed because you're doing it all, so be prepared for that and to make it clear to everyone that you're not her carer and you have a full-time job days so need to sleep nights and rest eves/weekends.

Nobody can force you to be her carer. But if you're in her home and she's suffering in some way (which is going to happen a lot) then you're obviously going to end up doing a certain amount of caring, unless you're a cold heartless bitch you won't be able to help it.

Could you commute to your job if you were at your mum's?

Can you drive? Hiring a self-drive van is a lot cheaper than paying a removals firm and may be adequate if you don't have a lot of stuff. Alternatively, is there anything you can sell to raise funds to pay for removals?

What is your mum's area like for social housing? It might be you're better off ending up homeless there than where you are currently, if it's a different council.

Forget about social housing being grim. You're about to be on the streets. At this point any roof over your head is better than that. I know it sucks but beggars can't be choosers. You can bid same as everyone else for social housing. It's only the temporary places you have no say in, although you could be in there ages so I understand your feelings.

You don't have to move out until you have a court order and bailiffs evict you. Tell LL you've nowhere else to go and keep paying the rent. Otherwise the council will say you made yourself intentionally homeless.

Yes. LL can't turf people out onto the street without following the correct legal procedures. Which takes time. A notice to leave is just that, them saying they want you to leave. If you don't they have to go to court to enforce it. Tenants have rights in the UK, LL can't just do whatever they like.

It's incredibly unlikely that the whole value of your DMs house will be taken by care costs unless it isn't worth very much. But it might be worth looking at whether it's possible to release some of the value while also allowing you to continue living there.

It's very likely the entire house costs will be taken by care home fees, they're very expensive and people with dementia can linger on for years.

Can't do equity release for anything other than her DM everyday living expenses at this point otherwise it's deliberate deprivation of assets to avoid fees/gain means-tested benefits, which is illegal.

If her mum actually has enough money to be funding her current care herself and has some spare cash left in savings or monthly pension income to be able to gift OP a normal gift amount eg the removals fees, some cheap new furniture or a deposit on her next flat, that's ok and wouldn't be breaking any laws.

This is incredibly bad advice if the OP ever wants to rent again and needs a reference, surely?

In her situation she doesn't have the luxury of thinking like that. She can't put herself out on the streets to become a rough sleeper just so her LL will give her a reference!

As a rough sleeper she'd be at risk of assault, of losing her job through lack of sleep and poor hygiene, of health issues that comes with sleeping rough - and won't be an attractive prospect for any private LL in those circumstances anyway. Keeping a roof over her head is far more important than being nice or being kind and maintaining a reference.

She can't afford to rent a flat privately that much is clear. So she needs to look at other options. If that means social housing then she needs to follow procedure. Without kids she has almost no hope of being housed, however long she waits on a list. Homelessness gives her that priority for housing and means that if she follows due process she will eventually be housed somewhere, however horrible or out of area that may be - it's about the only upside of finding herself in her current predicament.

A secure tenancy and solid base to build her life around could make all the difference to stress levels and quality of life, enabling her to perhaps build her life up to the point she can escape the social housing, if it's not nice there or if she wants to move areas or become a homeowner or whatever.

To throw this opportunity away and go live on the streets instead, because she's putting her LL wishes before her own needs, would be pure madness.

Her mum has dementia so that situation isn't going to work out long term, OP will be run ragged and likely end up homeless there too when the home is sold to pay care home fees.

So it really comes down to -

1. if she can afford to rent a room, which would solve her problems for now (no guarantee she won't be priced out of that at some point too) and can find a room within her notice period given by her LL
2. whether she finds renting a room preferable to living in social housing
3. if she's going to be homeless and go for social housing, whether it's better for her to do that in her current area or in her mum's area (assuming they're different areas and her mum doesn't live round the corner)

People don't become homeless because they're able to easily move on. For those who do end up homeless, maintaining a good reference is a moot point because the chances of them remaining in or retuning to private rentals as a way of housing themselves is miniscule. Their lives have already gone tits up by that point.

The cost of the sale of the property will indeed cover care fees. Once assets drop below the threshold of £23,500 then people don’t pay full care costs. To avoid this, people should put their properties in trust. However, OPs mum couldn’t do this now as she has a diagnosis of dementia so the local authority will likely reject the request. I see this everyday in my job, peoples properties paying for their care.

This is true however it would be questionable/concerning depending on DM mental capacity. If the dementia is progressed then potentially would be a safeguarding issue

HRTFT but did you say you're 55? Councils and often charities have accommodation specifically for over 55s. Contact your local housing associations and council. They should be able to point you in the right direction. I know local to me there are almshouses, apartments for certain careers and areas of bungalows built and run by a big local manufacturer all for over 55s and I know you don't have to have worked there.

It sounds like you’re talking about extra care or sheltered accommodation. They’re generally council owned. Sheltered accommodation is also quite hard to get into due to the high demand, and it’s the same process whereby you have to be on the waiting list and bid. OP could look
into this though

Some is as you describe but not all. I know some local to me you can't have care needs to apply. Some are also for things like ex-teachers. I'm not saying it would be instant but definitely quicker than waiting and bidding on council housing, especially if you're single with no DC at home.
There's also a lot of Duchy of Lancaster housing and other aristocracy owned housing on their estates in my area, although that tends to be in villages further afield.
A huge bus manufacturer's charity also built a small estate of housing.

A very close and long time friend has just recently cremated her Mother.
Sadly her Mum had dementia and was cared for in a care home for 6years ,all the money that her parents had ,has gone on care home fees.
My friend doesn’t come from a wealthy background,her parents were WC hard workers.
Her parents would have been heartbroken that every hour they worked,to save for their daughters has now been swallowed up by greedy care home owners who absolutely couldn’t give a toss about the residents or staff!