Money

[WRLGh1234]

Hi, I am single person with a son. I work full time with a mortgage etc and worried sick about money to the point that for the last week of each month I eat only breakfast.
I don’t know what to do, where to go to, who to speak too. Like everyone I pay my bills every month and have nothing left over. I am so stressed I don’t know where to start. I’ve looked at my bills and can’t see how I can cut back on anything that I am paying. I don’t treat myself, don’t go out unless it’s to work. I cannot be alone. how do people do it all?

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP, if you are unable to buy food you can get a referral for a food bank or see if there is a local community kitchen near you (there are a few near me), there is help out there.

Are you claiming everything you are entitled to?

Your gp, school/nursery, hv etc can refer you to a foodbank. Worth checking you are getting the help you are entitled to.

I feel the pain in your post and your child is so lucky to have such an amazing parent. This sounds very tough and you must prioritise eating.

Have you checked if there are any local community pantries? Slightly different to a food bank where you can get subsidised and often fresh food. Have you checked if you are entitled to any benefits? You mention being a single parent. Does the other parent contribute and if not could you pursue them contributing? Otherwise I would suggest thinking about any other ways to increase your income, as you might be budgeting as tightly as possible and there is nothing else to give.

Are you getting all the help you are entitled to? You can check using a benefits calculator - like www.entitledto.co.uk/

I recommend the Olio app - some folk are signed up as food waste champions and get the end of date food from the supermarket in an evening. They list it on the app and you can then go pick it up (a bit harder with a son, depending on his age you could take him too if needed). There are also listings for free food others are passing on, and for free non-food items. This can include clothes and toys, great for growing kids. This really helps us to stay within our budget, and to stretch our money across the month.
I also keep an eye on freecycle to see whether anything we can use comes up.

My motto is always 'look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves'. It can be easy to spend small amounts without noticing and they all add up.

Look for Fareshare projects in your area. They're kind if like food bank BUT they're about zero waste so there's no referral or shaming forms to fill in and no limit to how often you go.

Are you claiming everything you are entitled to? It sounds really really tough for you. 💐

How other people do it won't necessarily help you as they have different incomings and outgoings.

You need to work on your own circumstances. If you're cutting back on food because you have unsecured debt, you need to get professional help and reframe your thinking - basic living costs come before debt repayments, not after. If you can't buy food, pay your bills and have a small amount to treat yourself and DC, buy clothes as needed etc, you need to reduce the amount you spend on debts.

Even if you aren't in debt, you need to balance your budget. If your income doesn't cover your essentials (mortgage, bills, food, travel to work, DC costs) you need to increase your income and/or reduce your expenses.

Things to consider, whether or not you post the details on here:

Are you receiving all the benefits you're entitled to, eg help with childcare?

Are you entitled to child maintenance and is it being paid?

Are you able to ask for a pay rise, change jobs to earn more money, get a second job or otherwise increase your income?

Is there 'light at the end of the tunnel' eg the amount of childcare you need to pay for will reduce within the next year or two, making things a lot easier? If things are really tough, it might be worth carefully bridging the gap with credit, but only if you can do it at 0% interest and only if you're disciplined enough to only pay for essentials you currently can't afford as you'll have to pay it back and also need to keep up with payments so you can keep getting new 0% deals.

Have you genuinely reduced your bills and other costs to the minimum? I know you say you can't cut back, but different people have different definitions of this, and when you see the numbers, many people are spending more than they need to eg for cars, pay TV, broadband, mobile phone etc - I'm not saying this is you, but it does apply to a lot of people who are struggling to make ends meet, and a few pounds saved on all these things can make a big difference.

Moneysaving Expert will walk you through checking everything:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

But if the above doesn't help then it might be time for a more drastic solution eg is it possible to downsize or move to a cheaper area to reduce your living costs and make your budget work.

All of the previous suggestions plus can you look at your food bill. Are there savings you can make that will take away the immediate issue of not eating properly for a week?

Can you swap to porridge oats rather than breakfast cereal? Much cheaper & easy to jazz them up with dried fruit or chopped apple. It can be made with water rather than milk. Can you take lunch into work rather than buy a sandwich? Can you change your meal plans?

Meals for £1 - 3 egg veggie omelette & oven chips, veggie chilli with kidney beans, mushroom risotto, sausage rolls & beans, boned chicken leg pan fried with veg, celery & stilton soup with bread, frozen white fish on tomatoes & lentils. Sardines on toast & salad. Lots of ideas online.

No-one should go without food in our society. It's ridiculous.

A lot of churches run their own food banks - the one my DP attends has a food bank where if you pay (for example) £10, you bring £50 worth of products and so on. It’s normally really good products as well.

I’m in a similar situation and I’m looking for a PT job to top up. I was actually surprised at the amount of people looking for top up work in local groups.