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Original poster

What do you ACTUALLY do

58 replies

ThatHonestRaven · 19/02/2025 13:42

I’m at my wits end, I’m a failure of a mother, a person, I can’t cope with this anymore.
I have no money, no food I don’t get paid until 28th. I have applied for household support fund - 2 weeks ago - and been told it’s being assessed and to wait, I have applied to my local crisis fund, being assessed have to wait, I have no UC advances available to me, I have contacted CaB for a food bank referral, and I’m waiting for a response. What else can I actually do? I’m just at my wits end - to e darkness is too much to cope with!

OP posts:
Winterwonders24 · 19/02/2025 14:29

Also,just from some ofvtbe things you're saying and alluding to, CAB in your area should know further support for certain circumstances, such as domestic/family abuse

Mrsttcno1 · 19/02/2025 14:32

I agree with posting on a local fb page, even anonymously, there are at least 2 or 3 posts like this on ours every week and there’s always plenty of people offering to help in the comments so it’s definitely worth doing!

MrsOosh77 · 19/02/2025 14:33

This might be helpful? You can search by area x

www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/food-no-money-food-banks#Free-and-cheap-food-with-no-referral-click

Mrsttcno1 · 19/02/2025 14:34

Also look for any local charities, again we have 2 locally that don’t require any referral, no questions asked, you just go in and get what you need. They are lovely people and can also help direct you to any other help you may need

AngelicKaty · 19/02/2025 14:38

@ThatHonestRaven Sorry you're in such dire straits OP. Just to reassure you, I used to volunteer for the CA in Fareham, Hampshire (central South Coast - don't know if that's where you are). The Basics Bank in central Fareham is only open Mon, Weds and Fri, but we always made referrals the same day we received them (although, obviously, if a client called us on a Tues or a Thurs they'd have to wait until the following day to collect their parcel). I just wanted to let you know that CA will not hang about with your referral OP and I'm sure you'll hear back from them very soon.

OliveLion · 19/02/2025 14:39

Would you be happy to share your nearest city or town? I am also south coast

Original poster
ThatHonestRaven · 19/02/2025 14:41

AngelicKaty · 19/02/2025 14:38

@ThatHonestRaven Sorry you're in such dire straits OP. Just to reassure you, I used to volunteer for the CA in Fareham, Hampshire (central South Coast - don't know if that's where you are). The Basics Bank in central Fareham is only open Mon, Weds and Fri, but we always made referrals the same day we received them (although, obviously, if a client called us on a Tues or a Thurs they'd have to wait until the following day to collect their parcel). I just wanted to let you know that CA will not hang about with your referral OP and I'm sure you'll hear back from them very soon.

Thank you so much for this response x

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatHonestRaven · 19/02/2025 14:42

OliveLion · 19/02/2025 14:39

Would you be happy to share your nearest city or town? I am also south coast

nearest city is Brighton

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 19/02/2025 14:42

I’d be able to signpost more if you were this side of the bridge, but I don’t know the layout of the land in the south of England I’m sorry. But one good way to trawl the internet for information in a way that will save you time is to use https://chatgpt.com - it’s free, just ask it exactly what you need, the more detailed the prompt the better. It can access millions of online content in seconds to help you locate support that is local to you.

Mamofteenager · 19/02/2025 14:43

Download the olio app. They have donated food from supermarkets that are short dates and given to you for free. Does your daughters school have a food bank (some have their own)

Your not a failure, try not to be too hard on yourself

Arlanymor · 19/02/2025 14:43

Same day emergencies in the Brighton area here: https://bhfood.org.uk/directory-hub/accessing-emergency-food/

CoolPlayer · 19/02/2025 14:48

You’re not a failure and life can be hard! You’ve not given up and you’re sorting the situation out and that’s what’s important x

JasmineTea11 · 19/02/2025 14:50

Re free food, would Olio be any help? My DP gets quite a bit from it. Good luck OP.

Arlanymor · 19/02/2025 14:53

CoolPlayer · 19/02/2025 14:48

You’re not a failure and life can be hard! You’ve not given up and you’re sorting the situation out and that’s what’s important x

Absolutely, totally agree with this - you’re doing your best and that is all that anyone can ask. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get some support today.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 19/02/2025 14:53

Find your closest Catholic Church - you do not have to be a member or even a believer.

Ask for assistance from the St Vincent De Paul Society. They should be able to help urgently. Good luck.

Purplepostit · 19/02/2025 14:57

If your daughter is at school please contact them. To show how widespread issues are, our school is in one of the wealthiest areas in the a city that is one of the wealthiest in the UK and it has started to email out links to food banks etc and has set up a help yourself cupboard of food for parents, has emailed saying no gifts for teachers please put pressure on people etc. Even if your school doesn’t have similar I imagine they will come up with something as they tend to be really linked into the community. You are NOT a failure AT ALL!

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 19/02/2025 14:58

You are not a failure op, these things happen at times. The fact is, you're open to sorting it out for you and dd.

If you were local I'd give you some food but I'm in east London.

Op - i know you won't want to but can you ask a neighbour? They will have seen you with dd and if you explain, might lend you some cash or something food?

Any local religious center near you? They won't turn you away xx

Purplepostit · 19/02/2025 15:00

If your daughter is at school please contact them. It’s a really widespread issue and our school (in a pretty wealthy area) has started to email out links to food banks etc, has set up a help yourself cupboard of food for parents, has emailed saying no gifts for teachers please as puts pressure on parents. This will not be the first time your school has dealt with problem like yours and I imagine they will come up with something as they tend to be really linked into the community. You are NOT a failure AT ALL!

Thingsthatgo · 19/02/2025 15:09

I would strongly recommend rejoining Facebook. Find your local community group - I am south coast and in my town there are several groups with 10k or more members. Regularly we have people posting that they are short on food, and people will put together an emergency bag of food from their cupboards. It happens every day, and the generosity of people is really heart warming. There is no judgment, and people are sensible about what they give. ie no cash gifts, just food, so no one worries about being taken advantage of.

LesLavandes · 19/02/2025 15:15

Where are you in Brighton area? Anywhere near Saltdean?

Original poster
ThatHonestRaven · 19/02/2025 15:19

LesLavandes · 19/02/2025 15:15

Where are you in Brighton area? Anywhere near Saltdean?

No I’m outside the area in one of surrounding villages x

OP posts:
OliveLion · 19/02/2025 15:34

Anywhere near Ditchling? Feel free to pm me - that’s my part of the world :)

Sunnyside4 · 19/02/2025 16:12

Don't suppose your DD's school have their own mini foodbank (I wouldn't have been aware, but they've got a section in our reception with cans/bags pasta/rice) and you can collect a few bits from there. They often put fruit and bottles of milk outside the front door at the end of the week as they might not keep over the weekend.

Mimilamore · 19/02/2025 19:42

School, ask at school if you can speak to parent support person or flo or similar. They are a good source of information and will direct you to the right place for your area. They may be able to help with food themselves too.

KhakiOrca · 19/02/2025 20:46

Hi OP
Do you need cash quickly?
Do you have any gold scraps or gold jewellery laying around?

I am where u are today. My partner has been signed off for 3 months and we're now on UC.

We have gone from 5k a month to 1k. If I didn't have gold or old currency laying around I wouldn't be able to eat right now

Just food for thought as I have made over a grand in a month on gold scraps.