Partner has just left

[TrishPhillips91]

My Bf of 8 years has recently just left our relationship leaving me as a single parent of 2 young children aged 2 and 5.

I am really struggling to understand just how I’m going to manage financially. I have used a benefits calculator to see what I would be entitled to as a single parent not working.

This came back as 1850 monthly through UC. My rent alone is £975 PCM. My Rent is over half my entitlement plus all other additional costs, Car Insurance, Phones, TV, Broadband, Food, Fuel. Looking after the family Dog.

is this going to be doable or has anyone been in a similar situation with advise. My Ex says he would send me £600 PCM for child maintenance which seems fair. Will I get this on top of my UC claim or will UC claim be reduced to compensate for the child maintenance I’m going to be recieving.

any advice would be much appreciated.

T

Child maintenance is not counted as income for uc calculations.

You’ll keep the child maintenance on top of the UC. Be aware though that when your youngest turns 3 you’ll need to work a certain number of hours, so it may be good to start looking into that.

He says he will. There's no guarantee he will so I would work out what he must do if you go through the formal channels and decide whether to formalise it. If he is giving you more, then I would plan a budget on the basis of what would be ordered so you are not left high and dry if he reneges. If he misses a payment, be ready to immediately file with the CMS
https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service

After that its the usual things, downsize to cheaper accommodation, rehome the dog, economise on any discretionary spending.

I second this. Please do not take his word for it. He says he will pay, and he might for a bit, until he decides its actually nicer to keep the money for himself (and a new girlfriend?) and stops paying, then you're even more in the shit.
Get legal advice and get anything regarding DCs and finances legit, no informal agreements.

You will also be able to claim for council tax benefits by the sound of it. How much of your rent does UC cover?

£600 CM sounds fair as long as he sticks to it (I get £100 a month for 1DC)

So sorry you’re in this position.

I’d say don’t panic about finances though. It should be quite manageable with good budgeting, making use of second hand websites, batch cooking from scratch etc, especially with the extra £600 bringing it up to £2400 net income for the three of you (or CMS amount if this were to break down).
As kids (and dogs…) get older they tend to get more expensive of course, but with free childcare hours kicking in, you can then start to work more (may well be an option now depending on whether you’ve got grandparent support, and whether partner wants to stay involved in their lives and have them some of the week).

Give yourself a bit of time to come to terms with the shock, and then get planning. Not just money wise, but also what you want new family life could look like. Sometimes with breakups there comes new freedom to do things differently

Sorry to hear this op, it's great how some parents just decide to walk away from it all isn't it! Good job we don't all do the same otherwise our dc would all be with social services 😠
Does that amount of UC include the rent bit? I'm not sure how that works but I'm sure if you're in rented you get an amount in addition for your rent. Not for those on a mortgage though. I'm also afraid you'll probably have to look at getting a job soon. Working part-time you will be better off than not working on UC. Explain to your ex that you'll now need to work and he'll need to do some of the childcare, see what he says. Unfortunately you can't force people to parent that don't want to but at this stage hopefully he'll be reasonable about sharing childcare. Not guaranteed though. Some parents just walk away from responsibilities. Also check what he should be paying through CMS calculator based on his income and see if £600 is fair.

I work in a reasonably well paid job and pay half my wages in rent.

Ask ex to take the dog? You can’t afford a dog.

get a job 30 hours a week - a 2 year old can go to nursery

is he having the kids at all? If he had them every Friday night you could get a night shift job

Is it a phone you have or phones? What tv package do you have?

Half of a good income is entirely different to half of a low income.

You can get cheaper water rates if you're on benefits. Also cheaper broadband package if on Universal Credit - it's called a social tariff.

Apply for free school meals, even if the 5 year old gets free school meals already. Depending on where you live, getting free school meals due to low income can mean you're eligible for help with other school costs.

Cut down your outgoings as much as possible - cancel what you don't need. Menu plan, and have a budget.

Money Helper budget tool is a good, free budget plan. Make sure you plan and save money so that you can have a rainy day fund.

Healthy start vouchers for the 2 year old- to use for fruit/veg.

Register the dog with PDSA, so that you can get reduced care for the dog. If you are not insuring the dog, join Dogs Trust. As membership provides cover for if thr dog causes damage to cars/other dogs etc

Single person discount for council tax, and apply for council tax reduction for the rest of the payment.

Put in the claim for Universal credit asap, as you will have a 5 week wait for the first payment