How are so many sailing through sky rocketing prices?

[Pennypark44]

DH and I on just above average salaries, very grateful for what we have, kids, own home which we can afford to keep warm, enough food etc, swimming lessons for kids, toys etc and I know we are extremely fortunate … however when it comes to house maintenance, furniture, cars, and even just the extras like occasional trips to the cinema/pantomine, meals out, local events, birthday parties etc, the prices are getting more and more extortionate despite using every voucher scheme going etc. Most people we know seem to be still affording all this despite being on the same salaries or less and with less debt. Just wondering how, I know of people who seem to get regular large cash gifts off wealthier relatives or had inheritances in the past which meant they have a lower mortgage, is this how people seems to be affording it or are we just missing something?

There is alot of sense in what you’re saying, £13 does feel sky high for a cinema ticket and unaffordable to us, but our £1300 pcm mortgage would buy an awful lot of £13 cinema tickets!! It only takes someone to have bought their house 6 months before us or still be on a low fixed and they might be paying £300-400 less than us a month, which buys an awful lot of cinema tickets! (We just happened to be spending all that extra and more on childcare when we were on a low fixed 🤣) It would make more sense tax wise for me to do the overtime if not for the childcare, even if able to get shifts when he’s home but we’d both find that alot more stressful 😵‍💫

It can be frustrating to feel like you're struggling while others on similar incomes seem to be managing more easily. Some people might dip into savings or take on more debt to maintain their lifestyle, which isn't always sustainable ultimately, everyone's financial situation is unique, and comparing yourself to others can be misleading. As others have said, find what works for you, and changes that you can make to bring you closer to financial stability.

We use things like Tesco vouchers etc to help fund cinema trips/trips away. Our credit card is with Tesco,.we.pay off in full each month but it means we get a lot in points

Cinemas.often do cheap children's shows at certain times which is good if kids are small

I do think some older people give their kids a lot in handouts.

Ah, we have the same mortgage! Friends and neighbours who bought five years earlier than us are better off, as are those with grandparent help for childcare.

One big difference as well is the huge cost of improving your house now – friends who bought and fixed up houses a few years ago paid a lot less for a lot more, but labour and materials have risen. (I follow someone on Instagram who got a side return extension in Brighton for £60k pre-covid.) And once you have kids it all costs more as DIY is trickier to do around them, takes longer, trades working around small children takes longer so more expensive.

On the threadbare furniture, which our house is filled with (though tbf even if I were rolling in it I’d still buy second-hand off FBM, because of the climate): so much stuff breaks and has to be replaced not repaired. Built-in obsolescence, and that costs money. My parents have had their sofa for 45 years! We’ve had two break in the past five.

Oh, we don't have a car either. Saves a packet.
Oh and we live in a flat. Which most people dont want to.

£800 that there is the monkey on your back.

Your mortgage of 1300k pcm is a huge drain. On your salary gross pay that's around 20k per annum.

As children grow they also become more expensive with hobbies, entertainment.

We go out for less meals, go out less in general. Reducing the treats and searching for bargains

Your mortgage of 1300k pcm is a huge drain. On your salary gross pay that's around 20k per annum.

What would rent be though?

As children grow they also become more expensive with hobbies, entertainment. Compared to the costs of childcare?! Not true for us.

To be honest, seeing the amount that people spend on Christmas (as well as generally) you wouldn't think there is a cost of living crisis.

I've had to increase my income by 1000£ per month. This means that, just as I am approaching retirement I am now working twice as hard as I have always done so that we can maintain our previous quality of life
I am lucky to be able to add 'private' work as a sole trader to my current employed role. But I wouldn't say we were sailing through- I'm shattered and close to burn out

Exactly!

Childcare is a horrendous drain I agree. My friend gave up an amazing career in a children's hospital because of the cost. Took a post in a private school for a few years to get young children through childcare, minor ailments before re-entering a career she loves.

I hope your partner is also picking up more money and you have a good pension.

Yes it is frustrating that however much we’ve progressed professionally and increased our salaries or clever we are with money, planned ahead and live more frugally than most people we know, it’s still a challenge to afford to replace furniture which is literally falling apart, let alone a week in away caravan etc. The price of everything just seems to have sky rocketed out of even our increasing budget but not most other people we know. However at the same time we are incredibly fortunate with all we have (and happy) overall and the kids seem happy enough

I'm very low income compared to most here. The cost of living increases have barely affected me because I have always lived very frugally. Food has gone up, definitely, but you can still buy some cheap ingredients. The meals you make might not be what you like.

There has been a huge lifestyle inflation in the UK over the last 35 or so years. Things which used to be unimaginable luxuries are now considered necessities. I'm not talking about things like automatic washing machines but eating out a lot, luxury skin care and so on.

Saving money is something you have to do consistently. It's no use scrimping and saving all week to save £5 if at the end of the week you go and spend £6 on a bottle of wine. It's a habit. I've been doing this all my adult life so it has been easy for me to adapt to the price rises. It doesn't mean I am happy about the price rises.

I think when people earn more they might not see the value of spending a lot of time to save £5. I don't have the option of overtime or a second job so it is very worthwhile for me to do that. Most people would consider £5 a trivial sum.

I think some people have an idea in their heads about a certain lifestyle they think they should be able to afford and then they are disappointed that their money doesn't stretch.

A lot of the advice you see comes from people who have never tried to be frugal. Things like go camping, and grow vegetables.

Who you hang around with is a huge influence. You definitely spend more if your mates are big spenders. I have a newish friend who is a high earner but who considers me to be positively profligate and this has been highly motivating for me to spend less.

You never know somebody's true financial situation.

Its this. It wouldn't seem like it outwardly to mates but I cut back on some little things so that i dont have to in other areas. Take my lunch to work, never really ever buy coffee out, i only get my hair cut probably 2-3 times per year rather than every 8 weeks like some friends. I use a very basic inexpensive face cream, some women will be using several pots a year of a £30-40 cream.
It all adds up and other times im able to splash the cash a bit and it probably seems like ive heaps of money spare. I have and i haven't if you see what i mean!

I think we ‘go out’ as a family much less than other people so the rising cost of day trips/activities hasn’t really been noticed but we are also a) both working full time and b) out of the expensive childcare years.
Our money goes on mortgage, savings and our hobbies. Holiday probably twice a year (one in UK) and the odd weekend away relating to hobby.
Pre COVID we lived in a much cheaper house that we hated and went on holiday 5 plus times a year because we couldn’t stand being in the house!

People are surviving on credit. The Centre for Responsible Credit says that credit use is at an all-time high in the UK.

I'm in the US and it's the same here. Credit use and credit defaults are at an all-time high. People are surviving inflation by mortgaging their futures.

Thank you, it is reassuring to know it’s not just us, like you say, a lot of it is probably about timing and family help, we looked into trying to get some work done on the house we’d not been able to afford for years and the quotes came back at over double what I would of ever expected. Good point about doing work around the children too, in the past my DH would of done the work himself but we’re both just too maxed out and trying to do it ourselves around kids is an extra hurdle, plus lots of things need doing repairing more often what with having the kids, whether it’s the washing machine being used several times a day or more frequent decorating

A neighbour a few doors down five years ago had an amazing huge house with indoor swimming pool, holiday home in an exclusive resort. St Tropez, Silverstone, Pop concerts, best seats in the house. Skiing holidays, Caribbean at Christmas. Husband was flying in construction..

Fast forward five years they're in a bog standard house they used to rent out. But they're still trying to keep up appearances. St Tropez out of season, cheap weekend offers on four star hotels. Selling your designer stuff on vinted to pay for it.

It's nuts trying to keep up appearances under these circumstances. Any self employed person can have highs and lows but to lose your home because you have to do the holidays, events, that way insanity lies.

My friends expression always comes to mind

"fur coat no knickers "

Although it doesn’t explain why our neighbours etc seem to be able to afford to do their house up, go on holidays etc I do think you make some good points about the lifestyle we expect our income to stretch too, which in my experience becomes more of an issue the more money you have. We had very little money in the past and people were surprised how well we managed. I suppose it’s like time, the less time/money you’ve got, the more focussed you have to be and the less you try to get out of it, so in essence it’s easier to manage. Although we do still try to be very frugal e.g. take picnics if we’re going for days out etc, now I can afford the kids swimming lessons I budget for them (and put them into the spreadsheet) but haven’t necessarily budgeted for the extra petrol to drive them there each each week, the extra washing etc i.e. every extra thing we now decide we can afford on our increased income is probably costing more than we think

It’s the mortgage. We have a small house with a very small mortgage. It’s fine and we’ve been in it for years. One child, mostly secondhand things and uk holidays, Fairly cheap hobbies. We bought the house on one income, and as dd got older I increased my working hours. So although we don’t earn much, we have some wriggle room. I’m happy we’ve never moved to a larger house.

@Pennypark44 Ah, that’s what we call the sundries: DD’s swimming lessons are doable, but parking is a nightmare, a real bunfight for the free spots so sometimes we have to pay for a spot. The pool is cold, so she needs a wetsuit, and goggles obviously. The peer pressure that all her friends have a towel turban for their hair (which tbf does make the hell of showering and getting out of there in winter much easier). And she’s determined to keep growing, so a new wetsuit is on the horizon. Guess I should be thankful she’s at least moving up levels at speed so I won’t be paying forever!