Considering a second child in a cost of living crisis!

[Plantandsurf]

Hi all,
We have a gorgeous and very energetic toddler and both talking about whether we’d want another.
The sleep deprivation (still wakes every two hours) and lack of family support doesn’t make it easy, but also concerned about how living costs have shot up. Hubby works full time and I work part time, toddler will need temporary wrap around the free hours until September when he gets more hours. But still with this we are often coming up short at the end of each month.
We do have savings which can draw upon but still not a great position to be in.
How do people manage financially with a second unless you are on very good money or both (if there are two of you) back full time? Or do you scrape by until they are at school and can both work full time?
or has the cost of living just made you stick with one.
thanks and sorry if any element of the post caused offence. X

I'm currently pregnany with a very unexpected second! I'm worrying about money a lot - there'll be an 8 month period where we're paying two lots of childcare - but I figure we'll muddle through somehow.

My DH works full time, I work 4 days. We'll probably need to dip into savings too. It's not ideal but it is what it is!

The key thing for us was waiting for a 3 year gap, rather than 2 years. It meant we only had 2 months of double childcare, which was extortionate, but we saved for those 2 months ahead of time, so it didn't impact month on month.
Obviously, everything you can save for number 2: pram, bassinet, toys, baby kit, clothes etc...will make a huge difference.
I found there were far more big expenses with number one than number 2.
I actually found the big expenses came with number 1. We barely bought anything new for baby number 2.

We coped. You find a way.

The only people I know with more than one either have one very high earning parent or both work full time.

Don't be fooled into automatically thinking your problems are solved once the nursery days are over, either - they're not, necessarily. Depending on your working hours, wrap around childcare needs and school holiday cover, childcare costs can still be high with a primary aged child.

We're sticking with one because of the cost of living. Not that we couldn't afford a second, but we couldn't afford the standard of living we want. I'm wincing at the cost of providing extras just for one child, nevermind two. But then, we also don't want a second for various other reasons, so although finances are a serious reason they're not the only one so maybe it's easier to accept.

If you're short of money every month and dipping into savings, it would be irresponsible to have another child, in my opinion. Would you be in a better financial position in a few years when older isn't in nursery anymore? Any promotions likely in future or career changes/you going full time?

Another vote for timing the age gap (as far as that is feasible at least!) 2 years would have been too painful for us (for more reasons than money!) 3 years works nicely if you have good access to the funded childcare, though I have friends who opted for larger gaps to avoid too much overlap in childcare. It depends what costs you are most worried about, if it's childcare you can plan and navigate around that to a degree, but if it's wider than that it's more complicated and I can see why some people stick at one. We stuck at 2 largely due to lifestyle considerations.

But yes just to add we both work full time, and whilst I did do some part time work in the pre school years I was still forging ahead in my career which meant our income increased well by the time we were out of the childcare years which has funded the lifestyle we wanted. Remember to look at the long term picture as well as the short term, I probably could have made some "cheaper" choices in the short term working less hours in the early years due to childcare, but investing in my career has meant we have a higher income for the teen years. And whilst you will never hear me say the teen years are more expensive, they only are if you didn't pay childcare and choose to spend a lot on your teens and I will never be convinced otherwise, there is a lot of pressure to spend more and you will likely want to spend more when they're older so it is important to consider the overall lifestyle you want for your family into young adulthood and consider how you will pay for that.

We didn't think our finances at all after I got pregnant when ds was 13 months. But we were poor. Shopping at Lidl, buying a £500 bed on finance, only holidays at pils caravan. Dh worked his arse off and got promotion after promotion and finally earned four times the starting salary. We bought a new car and a house and have nice holidays. I think it was worth of years of little money because now we have two children and nice life.

Currently pregnant with number 2 and my son has just turned 4. While we haven’t waited this long for financial reasons, it will be helpful as by the time I go back to work (4 days a week) my son will have just started school and baby will take his place at nursery so we will have the same sort of childcare costs. I won’t buy half the crap for this baby as I did the first - you realise what stuff you actually need after your first. The big issue for me won’t necessarily be money but fitting 2 children around work. My husband is probably going to change his working pattern to be home after school / nursery and I will start work later to do the morning drop-offs, though it will be very tight with timings. I will probably leave my current job and work as a locum so that I can have school holidays off. I have a choice of staying in my current job and working term-time only for a significant drop in monthly take-home pay but very convenient hours and location OR go locum, work longer days during term time but have the freedom to take all holidays off (will earn enough to cover the weeks I don’t work, but no paid holiday or sickness, pension etc). We are also hoping to move house to something cheaper once the baby is born. Either way it will be a struggle but in the grand scheme of things, I desperately wanted a second and am so grateful to have the chance now. I know it’s very naive to say, but everything will be alright in the end. If you can wait a bit longer (depending on your age / health / fertility issues etc) I would have a bigger age gap.

Oh and I forgot to say that I will be 100% using all of my savings to cover the last few months of maternity pay (husband has his own savings plus we have some joint savings so do have something to fall back on if needed).