Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Cost of living

Stretching your budget? Share tips and advice to discuss budgeting and energy saving here. For the latest deals and discounts, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I got caught shoplifting

1000 replies

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 15:02

I really didn't know what topic to choose for this

I'm mortified, I got caught shoplifting in boots today, I was stealing baby milk and a facial moisturiser. I'm so ashamed of myself. It was in the city center aswell. They didn't call police but they took my details, took a picture and told me I can't return to the store again

Will this picture and my details go around to the other shops near by or will it just go to the other boots shops.

I can't believe I was stupid enough to do this! I'm so embarrassed and also feel really guiltily!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
AnneLovesGilbert · 09/09/2024 20:04

Vinted is good for baby clothes. Cheaper than the shops and mostly good quality.

ByPithyLion · 09/09/2024 20:04

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 19:52

Absolutley not after what happened today. But I live near city center and still would like to go shopping there for baby clothes etc

Well, if thats the case then you should be fine, apart from the Boots store. You'll be on a watch list but if you're not acting suspiciously you'll be okay. Good Luck and don't worry, we all have " blips" 😊

Abby212 · 09/09/2024 20:12

Don't worry op, don't feel too bad about it. It's not the worst thing in the world. I pop a things in my push chair hood from time to time lol. Obviously if you're struggling get some help like others have said. But don't beat yourself up about it 😊

NeedaBreakSoon · 09/09/2024 20:14

Abby212 · 09/09/2024 20:12

Don't worry op, don't feel too bad about it. It's not the worst thing in the world. I pop a things in my push chair hood from time to time lol. Obviously if you're struggling get some help like others have said. But don't beat yourself up about it 😊

You are a thief and you think that is funny? That’s grim

DreamW3aver · 09/09/2024 20:15

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 19:13

Had to buy the baby a bigger cot, as she's out grown her next to me crib

That set me back £120

And yes 120 was one of the cheaper ones I could find

Did you look on facebook marketplace? You can get a cot for a tenner and the just buy a new mattress

cavalier · 09/09/2024 20:16

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 15:02

I really didn't know what topic to choose for this

I'm mortified, I got caught shoplifting in boots today, I was stealing baby milk and a facial moisturiser. I'm so ashamed of myself. It was in the city center aswell. They didn't call police but they took my details, took a picture and told me I can't return to the store again

Will this picture and my details go around to the other shops near by or will it just go to the other boots shops.

I can't believe I was stupid enough to do this! I'm so embarrassed and also feel really guiltily!

Hi I am so sorry you’ve got yourself doing this
i felt quite moved actually
Do you think you could be feeling down or sad and need some professional support ?
Breaks my heart that anyone needs to do this truly.
have you got support around you ?
This situation does not have to define you lovely
we all make mistakes
take care … please get support … lots of great advice on here

ILuvfur5 · 09/09/2024 20:16

I totally understand your situation OP and know exactly how you are feeling right now.

I’m on disability benefits and desperately struggling to make ends meet. I worked from age 14 and carried on working until recently when it just wasn’t possible anymore, my rent had a huge increase last year and I owe a fortune on electric due to estimated meter readings being wrong. My partner left me and I was left to find the rent and pay bills alone.
I get all the benefits I’m entitled to but I struggle every month and my friend has had to buy food for me when I’ve had no money to buy it. I’m also trapped in an expensive phone contract (£30 a month) but sky mobile have given me a free SIM as I’m in receipt of benefits and my handset will be paid off soon so that’s a huge relief. Try contacting sky mobile about the SIM if you can, you might find you are entitled to it.

I’m so ashamed to say I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago, I was using the self scan and didn’t scan some items. There was no luxuries it was pasta, bread, milk etc… I didn’t scan a big pack of toilet rolls, sanitary towels, washing up liquid, eggs, chicken and a bag of peppers.
I actually got a security check and passed it, I think the man doing the check knew I hadn’t scanned everything as he only scanned items on the top and I’d put the things I hadn’t scanned underneath, he put his hand on my arm in a sympathetic way when I left. I could be completely wrong but I was so scared of getting caught I was shaking and kept dropping things.
It’s either that or he knew I was going to be stopped and they let me pass the check so security could properly catch me.

I got stopped approaching the door and taken into a room and asked if I’d walked away with unscanned items, I said I had and started crying. There were two security staff and one of them - a man was so kind. The woman who I think was in charge said she was calling the police, I said ok, I knew I’d done wrong but I was desperate, my health has suffered from not eating properly, I was at rock bottom and past caring.
I felt bitter that I’d been reduced to stealing when I know so many people who don’t give a second thought about how much their shopping is, I know that’s just the way life is and it’s not always fair but sometimes it’s hard when life keeps knocking you down and you see other people who have it easier and haven’t had to fight for everything.

The man persuaded the women to stop the call to the police, I actually think she was just trying to scare me now. When she went out of the room the man told me the value of the goods was £37 and the police wouldn’t do anything if it’s under £200. They took my name and address and checked my ID, I got a letter banning me from the store and said I’d be arrested for trespassing if I go back.

I thought I’d been punished enough and didn’t tell anyone, I have sold some things on eBay and was trying to get myself in a better situation.

I don’t want to scare you but I got a letter from a lawyer today saying I need to pay £150 for security guard fees or I’ll be taken to court. I don’t have the money and don’t have a clue what to do, I thought the security guards were working regardless so it doesn’t make much sense, it just feels like another blow.

Hopefully this won’t happen to you, it seems to be something that this particular place (a supermarket) I stole from does. I’m going to ask CAB for advice but it seems as I admitted I’d deliberately intended to steal that I will have to find a way to pay it.

I hope things improve for you, it’s easy for people to judge when they don’t understand the desperation and depression living in poverty causes. I understand you took the moisturiser likely because you were angry about the fact you were reduced to stealing to start with and if you were taking a big risk in getting caught you might as well have something for yourself. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that people think of you as scum when you are just trying to survive, I could understand if we were stealing make up or something just because we wanted it, you needed baby milk. I needed the items I stole and they were necessitates not luxurious - except maybe the peppers.

I wouldn’t go back to boots, there are other (cheaper) shops you can go to. Try to put it behind you like I have and look into the links people have posted. I hope life improves and ignore the posters on here who don’t understand that they aren’t helping by making you feel any lower than you already do.

I won’t ever steal again because I couldn’t face that experience again, I’ll be honest and say it’s more the shame of getting caught then guilt for stealing, I go feel guilty but I also wonder what I’m supposed to do when my incomings are less then outgoings? I have no family to help me and now no partner but I will look at food banks, I should have done that to start with. Stealing wasn’t something I planned to do, it was just a spur of the moment decision and I needed the food there and then and didn’t know how to go about contacting a food bank, I have found one now.

For anyone who thinks that they would never steal, you don’t know that, a year ago I’d have never even considered it and would have been appalled at the idea of it. I’d never judge anyone who acts in desperation though.
There but for the grace of god go I.

Abby212 · 09/09/2024 20:16

NeedaBreakSoon · 09/09/2024 20:14

You are a thief and you think that is funny? That’s grim

Oh do one 😴

Poilin · 09/09/2024 20:17

I worked in boots for 10 years .The worst security ever if you walked into that store in 6 months time they would forget they even banned you or maybe the security guard is no longer working there .you were told not to return to the store you stole from it’s not a boots blanket ban so don’t worry .

Sheelanogig · 09/09/2024 20:20

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 19:52

Absolutley not after what happened today. But I live near city center and still would like to go shopping there for baby clothes etc

You will be fine. Store detectives/secuirty share info but majority of security teams know the the difference from someone who is in a tricky personal situation and a warning will have impact and someone who steals to order, making money out of it.

It's a big shock and a wake up call to finding help that is there for you and your baby.
But we all stuff up at times and behave in ways we'd never expect yourselves to.

P.S
I know a store that has a elderly lady come in every Saturday before closing and pinches a chicken. The store turn a blind eye to it, they know her social situation and that she's too proud to ask for help.

They'd love to give her bag of veg etc. but know she'd freak out- so they all play the game of 'Mary' just pops in to say hello and casually takes a chicken on her way out.

EveryTree · 09/09/2024 20:21

@ZiriForGood in my city the one beds are either expensive executive flats that are too expensive for someone on housing benefit. Or a block of flats where they put men coming out of prison or drug and alcohol abusers. I would not want to live there as a single woman with a baby. It is important to be safe.

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 20:26

Poilin · 09/09/2024 20:17

I worked in boots for 10 years .The worst security ever if you walked into that store in 6 months time they would forget they even banned you or maybe the security guard is no longer working there .you were told not to return to the store you stole from it’s not a boots blanket ban so don’t worry .

Thankyou! Xx

OP posts:
RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 20:28

Poilin · 09/09/2024 20:17

I worked in boots for 10 years .The worst security ever if you walked into that store in 6 months time they would forget they even banned you or maybe the security guard is no longer working there .you were told not to return to the store you stole from it’s not a boots blanket ban so don’t worry .

Do you know if my picture will be on a wall in the shop, or is it more on a computer, data bass and all that. He did say the picture was for photo recognition

OP posts:
Mamma283828 · 09/09/2024 20:29

I just wanted to add that you don't have to buy baby things. On Facebook there are loads of Hand me on groups or freebie groups of people trying to offload their baby stuff. If you look long enough and are patient you can get anything you want, including cots. And you can always put out a request for something. The only challenging bit is collecting, but some people will deliver just to get rid of the big stuff.

HonoraBridge · 09/09/2024 20:32

NeedaBreakSoon · 09/09/2024 20:14

You are a thief and you think that is funny? That’s grim

Agreed.

ByPithyLion · 09/09/2024 20:34

Just sayin, I worked in security for over 20 years and you really do see all walks of life. You do get some bastard colleagues who want to call the cops on everyone but they are few, thank god. You do get the pro's who see it as a career but on the whole, the majority are just going through a bad time and are really embarrassed about it. Move on from this..you've had a learning experience, onwards and upwards and once again, Good Luck 🥰

SeldomAthletic · 09/09/2024 20:35

NeedaBreakSoon · 09/09/2024 19:19

This is such nonsense as you would condone looting on that basis.

I don’t condone looting, as that tends to involve violence and is usually fairly indiscriminate, BUT I don’t see it as any worse than the looting being done by billionaires and massive conglomerates that will destroy the planet and keep working people impoverished, while the super rich lounge on their yachts and private islands.

OP just nicked some milk and moisturiser. Big fucking deal.

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 20:35

RoseBiscuitll · 09/09/2024 20:28

Do you know if my picture will be on a wall in the shop, or is it more on a computer, data bass and all that. He did say the picture was for photo recognition

they scan it into their security systems so if you enter any of the stores on that system it alerts, it’s also used for high st etc. This article explains it and shows boots openly admit to using it now.

www.theguardian.com/business/2024/apr/10/shoplifting-crackdown-to-include-55m-for-facial-recognition-tools-in-england-and-wales

Ivehearditbothways · 09/09/2024 20:36

Abby212 · 09/09/2024 20:16

Oh do one 😴

But you literally are a thief. A repeat offender. It’s just who you are, it‘s part of your character and you need to accept that people will judge you for being that way and laughing about it. Unfortunately our society does have dishonest people in it, who do it purely because they’re a thief by nature rather than being in exceptional circumstances. For that, and for laughing at it… well, people who know are going to judge you.

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 20:37

Poilin · 09/09/2024 20:17

I worked in boots for 10 years .The worst security ever if you walked into that store in 6 months time they would forget they even banned you or maybe the security guard is no longer working there .you were told not to return to the store you stole from it’s not a boots blanket ban so don’t worry .

Boots have moved on and use facial recognition technology

RoyallyEFFEDOFF · 09/09/2024 20:37

I actually think it’s so sad how some people are quick enough to condemn a mother trying to make sure her child has milk no matter what, opposed to the greedy landlords, greedy utility companies and pocket lining politicians, who have a large number of the population in the exact same position.

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 20:40

RoyallyEFFEDOFF · 09/09/2024 20:37

I actually think it’s so sad how some people are quick enough to condemn a mother trying to make sure her child has milk no matter what, opposed to the greedy landlords, greedy utility companies and pocket lining politicians, who have a large number of the population in the exact same position.

It’s not a race to the bottom. People can condemn both. The issue I think here is the op also stole moisturiser. Yes it’s sad, a few quid of moisturiser, but she wasn’t stealing just to feed her baby. No way round that.

Firefly1987 · 09/09/2024 20:40

So have we basically just decided it's fine to steal now if you're a mother?

IVFmumoftwo · 09/09/2024 20:42

RoyallyEFFEDOFF · 09/09/2024 20:37

I actually think it’s so sad how some people are quick enough to condemn a mother trying to make sure her child has milk no matter what, opposed to the greedy landlords, greedy utility companies and pocket lining politicians, who have a large number of the population in the exact same position.

I think it is because the price rises for honest mothers who need to buy it.

NeedaBreakSoon · 09/09/2024 20:44

Firefly1987 · 09/09/2024 20:40

So have we basically just decided it's fine to steal now if you're a mother?

Yes, it is ridiculous especially in this case when OP has just spent £120 on a new cot for her baby. Something amiss with priorities and definitely not in dire financial straits as some posters are trying to say.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.