I totally understand your situation OP and know exactly how you are feeling right now.
I’m on disability benefits and desperately struggling to make ends meet. I worked from age 14 and carried on working until recently when it just wasn’t possible anymore, my rent had a huge increase last year and I owe a fortune on electric due to estimated meter readings being wrong. My partner left me and I was left to find the rent and pay bills alone.
I get all the benefits I’m entitled to but I struggle every month and my friend has had to buy food for me when I’ve had no money to buy it. I’m also trapped in an expensive phone contract (£30 a month) but sky mobile have given me a free SIM as I’m in receipt of benefits and my handset will be paid off soon so that’s a huge relief. Try contacting sky mobile about the SIM if you can, you might find you are entitled to it.
I’m so ashamed to say I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago, I was using the self scan and didn’t scan some items. There was no luxuries it was pasta, bread, milk etc… I didn’t scan a big pack of toilet rolls, sanitary towels, washing up liquid, eggs, chicken and a bag of peppers.
I actually got a security check and passed it, I think the man doing the check knew I hadn’t scanned everything as he only scanned items on the top and I’d put the things I hadn’t scanned underneath, he put his hand on my arm in a sympathetic way when I left. I could be completely wrong but I was so scared of getting caught I was shaking and kept dropping things.
It’s either that or he knew I was going to be stopped and they let me pass the check so security could properly catch me.
I got stopped approaching the door and taken into a room and asked if I’d walked away with unscanned items, I said I had and started crying. There were two security staff and one of them - a man was so kind. The woman who I think was in charge said she was calling the police, I said ok, I knew I’d done wrong but I was desperate, my health has suffered from not eating properly, I was at rock bottom and past caring.
I felt bitter that I’d been reduced to stealing when I know so many people who don’t give a second thought about how much their shopping is, I know that’s just the way life is and it’s not always fair but sometimes it’s hard when life keeps knocking you down and you see other people who have it easier and haven’t had to fight for everything.
The man persuaded the women to stop the call to the police, I actually think she was just trying to scare me now. When she went out of the room the man told me the value of the goods was £37 and the police wouldn’t do anything if it’s under £200. They took my name and address and checked my ID, I got a letter banning me from the store and said I’d be arrested for trespassing if I go back.
I thought I’d been punished enough and didn’t tell anyone, I have sold some things on eBay and was trying to get myself in a better situation.
I don’t want to scare you but I got a letter from a lawyer today saying I need to pay £150 for security guard fees or I’ll be taken to court. I don’t have the money and don’t have a clue what to do, I thought the security guards were working regardless so it doesn’t make much sense, it just feels like another blow.
Hopefully this won’t happen to you, it seems to be something that this particular place (a supermarket) I stole from does. I’m going to ask CAB for advice but it seems as I admitted I’d deliberately intended to steal that I will have to find a way to pay it.
I hope things improve for you, it’s easy for people to judge when they don’t understand the desperation and depression living in poverty causes. I understand you took the moisturiser likely because you were angry about the fact you were reduced to stealing to start with and if you were taking a big risk in getting caught you might as well have something for yourself. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that people think of you as scum when you are just trying to survive, I could understand if we were stealing make up or something just because we wanted it, you needed baby milk. I needed the items I stole and they were necessitates not luxurious - except maybe the peppers.
I wouldn’t go back to boots, there are other (cheaper) shops you can go to. Try to put it behind you like I have and look into the links people have posted. I hope life improves and ignore the posters on here who don’t understand that they aren’t helping by making you feel any lower than you already do.
I won’t ever steal again because I couldn’t face that experience again, I’ll be honest and say it’s more the shame of getting caught then guilt for stealing, I go feel guilty but I also wonder what I’m supposed to do when my incomings are less then outgoings? I have no family to help me and now no partner but I will look at food banks, I should have done that to start with. Stealing wasn’t something I planned to do, it was just a spur of the moment decision and I needed the food there and then and didn’t know how to go about contacting a food bank, I have found one now.
For anyone who thinks that they would never steal, you don’t know that, a year ago I’d have never even considered it and would have been appalled at the idea of it. I’d never judge anyone who acts in desperation though.
There but for the grace of god go I.