Feeling hopeless

[Itsallaboutthemoneymoney]

Relatively frequent poster but have name changed. Trying to keep some personal details vague but will try and keep as much as I can factual as I would love some advice.

I have a beautiful toddler.
They are pretty much the only thing keeping me going at this point.
Split from the Dad back in November, we were living at his Aunties at the time and had been for 6 months. This is due to our landlord selling up, I was on maternity leave at the time and we could not find anywhere affordable as rent costs skyrocketed. We went on the council list but were not high priority. After the split in November, I contacted the council to advise them of my situation and that I needed to leave where we were staying. I was told I'd be higher up on the priority for 56 days, and put into temporary accommodation. But after 56 days I'd be moved back to low priority as we technically had somewhere to stay, and we'd be looking at approximately 3 years in temp accommodation.
After a couple of weeks (Ex Aunty was accommodating and let us stay whilst I tried to figure out what to do) and suffering badly with my MH, I decided to move into private accommodation with my child. My biggest fear of living in temp accommodation was being put into hostel, and not feeling safe as it was going to be mixed sex and I suffered sexual abuse as a child. I did explain this to the council but it made no difference. In January we moved into a house, rent is £900.
I returned to work last year and work part time, childcare costs £70 per day.
I'm fortunate enough to receive universal credit.
My child's father has stopped paying CM as he has lost his job. I earn £1200 from my job, £1500 from universal credit to help with rent and childcare.
Rent £900
Childcare for July is £1080
Loan £260 (for car, loan will be paid off mid next year)
Petrol to get to nursery/work £40ish a week
Car insurance £50
Phone £10
Council tax £114
This leaves me £126 a month for food, nappies, gas & electric, water, clothes etc.
I've been using the local food bank, and olio/market place for anything we can use like clothes etc. I've been thinking about using emergency holiday leave for next week so I don't have to spend money on petrol for work/nursery, but work helps take my mind off what a mess I'm in. And I know my child will be fed nutritious food.
I considered asking to work an extra day, but the way it works out is every £1 I earn I lose 55p in universal credit, so I will actually be worse off by the time I pay for the extra child care day.
I'm tied into a 12 month contract with my landlord.
I've been burying my head in the sand for months anyway, but I now owe £300 to Octopus and haven't paid council tax for May it June.
I just don't know what to do.
Please help, if there is anything I can do I will.

Yes he could and should try. I’m only saying that you can’t make money magically appear so you should give what you can, time.

sometimes finding a job can be hard

Is the child's Dad not claiming UC if he is unemployed? This is important to find out. He needs to help pay for nappies and use his ample time reduce childcare hours. Is he aware of your situation? Does he have no interest in playing a part in his child's life?

Hello all, apologies for being quiet, my parents came round to see us.

Thank you for the gentle kick up the bum about council tax, I will definitely ring them on my lunch break tomorrow.

Regarding the child care element going up if she went in for an extra day, the problem is it's capped at just over £1000, so if she were in for four days a week next month as an example, the bill would be £1368, 85% would be £1162 and I'd pay the £202 difference, but due to the cap I'd be paying £350ish.
I understand the reason for the caps, to stop people abusing the system, and I'm so grateful to live in a country that has access to this support in the first place. We just don't live in a country where one pay packet (average wage) can support a family.

I think if I didn't have the loan, and was able to get a house/flat for £700 I'd be so much better off.

One thing I'll also mention regarding the temp accommodation, I was shocked at how much it was going to cost. I was naive in thinking it was either going to be free or very low cost. I was told £246 per week. Regardless of where we were put, be it a hostel, hotel etc. So more than the rent I pay for a 2 bed house. I know I'd still get housing benefit to pay towards it, but that was heart breaking for me to be honest. I don't know if that's every council or just mine.

Thank you again for everyone's kind words and advice. It's means the world to me.

Hello,
Without going into too much detail, he was fully aware he was about to be sacked, had been given a date three days in advance for when he'd be having a meeting in which he was going to be sacked, and he resigned before they had the chance.
His reasoning for this was so they couldn't say he was sacked when he asked them for a reference, although I wasn't sure if they'd be allowed to do this anyway as I was under the impression you can't give a bad reference, only refuse to give one?
Any way, due to him quitting, from what I've read he isn't entitled to try and claim anything for 3 months? He's now living rent free with his parents.
They see my daughter a couple of times a month when she sees her Dad but they refuse to get involved any more than that, and that's their choice. I'd be more than happy for her to spend more time with them as I would work, but it's not something any of them seem to want.
I'm not just saying this because she's mine, but as far as toddlers go, she's really not that bad 🤣 she's not half as feral as some of my nieces and nephews 😁 just means I get more time with her so I'm the lucky one.
Sorry, gone off on a trail again.
.

Treat the council tax as a high priority. Octopus will come second!

Also, check MSE debt free wannabe boards.

Sorry you’re in this situation. Have you signed up to get your childcare tax free?

I dont know you yet I feel a great pride in how you are doing , so please stop being hard on yourself

Money being tight is hard, really hard, its relentless having to count every penny - constantly - no relief, I do totally get that

Clothes - facebook is usually really good. I got 3 of those large chequered laundry/storage bags of clothes for my DGC for £15 last year, in her age and a year above. We sorted through, got out what she liked ( aged 9 she got to decide ) then what was left we re sold on face book. Only things she was bought for the year were undies and shoes

I know you are already using foodbanks, they should also have information on clothes banks/nappies etc - use them, they are there to help

Get yourself over to MoneySavingExpert, sign for the newsletter, join the forums, there is a wealth of knowledge to be tapped into on there

Im pretty sure that Martin Lewis says, always use your money to heat and eat so if you are that short, forget the bills that month. The electic and the gas can not be cut off. Sure thats short term and it will need to be paid eventually , but do not not eat or keep yourself warm

Get in touch with your utility providers and see what help they can offer

even if the father of your child is on benefit, its still worth slapping in a claim for CS , might only be £5 a month but better in your pocket then his

and dont discount parents. Whilst we as grandparents dont want overnight stays , we are happy enough to come babysit for the evening if extra hours are being taken on.

Things will be a lot easier when you've paid your car loan off and it also sounds like you'll get the free hours which should also help, so it's a case of hanging on in there until then.

If you think your child's father is going to be more hassle than it's worth, eg if he's unreliable or doesn't provide good care, is there any chance of you getting a second job working overnight so your child can stay with your parents (or they can come and baby sit) if they can't manage her during the daytime? 1-2 nights a week in a care home for example? Or maybe even a 24 hour garage or fast food restaurant?

Only a couple of months to keep juggling things before it get easier with the funded hours in September.

Are there any other options with paid for childcare in your area? It might be worth comparing how they would all apply the hours or any top ups, to see what will work out cheapest once the hours start.

Would your parents be able to help with drop offs or pick up? Even if they can't manage a full day with the toddler? If so somewhere that had set sessions (usually 9-3) or lets you pay per hour, might work out cheaper, as they more likely to just use the funded hours. Whereas nurseries that have a day rate charge for 10-12h, even if you don't need that long, and often only give you a small discount on that when the hours start.

How long has ex been unemployed? Even on benefits he should be paying £7/week (£30/month), so as soon as he's eligible for uc, you can put a claim in. It's not much, but it should pay for some nappies at least.

Is there any leeway with the loan - can you transfer it to a lower interest loan or take a payment holiday just to free up some immediate cash to buy food, eg bulk buying low price items?

I know it's better to pay debt as soon as possible but if there's anything you could do there that might ease things right now it's worth a try.

On the other hand of course you don't want to jeopardise your car - definitely don't default or anything! (I'm sure you weren't going to)

You're in a tough spot - I hope things get better for you ASAP.