Homelessness and job hunting

[ineedasleep]

Hi all,

I’ve fled domestic violence from my stbxh and my child and I will be homeless very soon (currently living in a mortgaged house that’s being repossessed due to my stbxh’s £200k debt I’ve found out about through the courts).

My child starts school in September and we’ll most likely be in emergency accommodation (hopefully I guess) and then probably temporary (from what I have found out about the social housing system I know there are incredibly long waiting lists).

I was a SAHM when I was with my ex but obviously want to go back to work asap (I used to have a good career before having a baby) but my main focus is getting housing sorted (I won’t be able to rent privately at all so I know I have to wait for a council house as my ex has taken absolutely everything from the house, marriage and accounts - no the courts don’t really care).

My question is, the job centre are pushing to find work. I do want to work but every fibre of my being is in survival mode. Trying to find housing and waiting for D-day for when we go into temporary accommodation, trying to ensure I get my child started in school but also not knowing what area we will be in and what school they’ll attend so that’s stressing me out too (amongst obviously all other factors).

I just need like a couple more months being on UC to try and sort my life out but the pressure from the job centre is a lot, they know my circumstances but don’t really care.

I know it may seem like I’m ‘working’ the system but I’ve never been out of work like this before, I’ve never been homeless and I’ve never been this poor in my life before or now with a child. I’m just scared and feel like I need them off my back whilst I try and salvage even basic accommodation and try to sort our lives out?!

Is there anything I can do or say to the job centre so they back off (in the nicest way I can put it)?!

just take something temporary to tide you over for now, an dlook for a permanent job when you are settled - it is easier to find a job when you are already working anyway

The Job Centre measure activity, not achievement. Fire off twenty poor quality applications a week and they'll be happy.

Thank you. That’s really good to know!

I would, but I have no idea where I’ll be living or what area I’ll be in. Once I’m in emergency accommodation I just want to focus on getting housing

I worked for the Job Centre . As pp said they are looking to see that you are ‘trying ‘ so choose an hour a week and send of loads of generic cvs . I can’t imagine it would be good for your mental health to add a job on top of everything. Take care x

Thank you for your advice and your kind words. I’ll shoot off some cvs each week and just keep the job centre at bay for the moment. X

I’m sorry you’re in this position. I have no advice re. The job hunting, but my son is in YR R, so if you need any clothing etc I’d happily send them to you x

Sick note? With a GP's support, that would get you 12 weeks before being assessed with a uc50, so that could be an option too,to get you to September?

There's a fantastic Facebook page called Universal Credit Survival.There is loads advice there if you search the page. Unfortunately,there is no anonymous option to ask a question,and I would worry as you have fled DV.Try Benefits Advice Essentials on Facebook-there is an option there to post a question for advice anonymously.That way you would be much safer.Above all,I wish you all the best for the future.I really hope everything turns out well for you xx

You could go to some interviews and pretend you don’t understand a single word they are saying so they don’t employ you. That should shut the JC up for a while.

If you go down the sick note route I would tell the GP that you had suicidal thoughts in your marriage but they are becoming far more common as you are so worried for your future. They will sign you off for anxiety and/or depression, probably refer you for counseling (but that takes ages, so you may not have to go), and ask you if you want to go on medication, probably. Tell them you don’t think you would be able to cope with the side effects of anxiety or depression medication with everything you have going on in your life right now: you need a clear head (a lot of anxiety and depression meds cause brain fog) but some counseling sounds like a really good idea, please - how long will I have to wait? Tell them the stress the job Centre are putting on you is causing you to stay awake all night too - honestly, finding a house of a decent standard when you have no money and are unemployed is pretty much a bloody full time job, so no GP should have problems believing that. I doubt they will offer you sleeping pills, they really don’t like handing them out. If anyone asks you if you have visualised how and where you might commit suicide, say no - you just want the horror of everything you are going through to all be over. And what’s stopping you? Well, the child.

^ I literally had to learn how to play the system in order to get taken seriously for proper therapy, as they just wanted to chuck a bunch of meds at me, all of which (x6) had massive side effects that I could not tolerate.

I hope your future is much brighter, OP. Best of luck to you.

No unfortunately there's nothing you can do. The benefits criteria for not looking for work is being a carer for a disabled person, having a DC under 2 (think that's the right age), being on maternity leave, being on sickness benefits. That's it. Being stressed and overwhelmed doesn't qualify. You'll be sanctioned (money cut) if you don't look for work, so you need to prioritize it. Others will be sorting your housing, you're not private renting so there's little you can do about it other than attend any meetings you're asked to attend and provide any information you're asked to provide. You need this money so you need to follow the criteria for claiming it. Once you find work you'll be able to breathe again, you may have higher income than on UC and you won't have DWP hounding you stressing you out.

On being poor, you'll survive, people do. It's surprising how little you can live on when you have to. Sign up for all the free sites on FB for obtaining whatever personal possessions you need from cutlery and blankets to clothing and toys, check out charities that may be able to provide furniture for low/no cost, find out when discount sticker food is marked up at the supermarket, ask for food bank referral if necessary and focus on getting your addresses changed on official documents (car stuff, bank accounts, pension, doctors, etc) so personal information doesn't go to your old address for anyone to access, once you've got a new address.

Agreed. Just make sure the jobs are sort of similar and the sort of thing you could actually do. Eg don’t apply for a Pilot at BA if you’ve only ever worked at a call centre.

As a follow up to this.

When you're at a point when you're serious about getting a job, ignore what the JC advise you to do and concentrate on making 3-5 targeted high quality applications per week. Getting a job is a full-time job, and the standard JC job hunting/application advice is extremely poor.

(just make sure that none of your early spam applications are going to anyone that you'd actually like to work for when you're ready!)

Have they already given you an easement? You might need supporting evidence, for example from a support worker or housing officer? https://askcpag.org.uk/?fileid=-18138

What type of work can you do? Have you considered work which comes with accommodation? You may have a very long wait for social housing.

Goodness. I'm so sorry you're in this position. As others have said, fire out a load of applications just to keep the wolf from the door. I'm not an advocate of playing the system but I also believe that the welfare state is in place for people just like you, to support you when you're at your lowest. What's the point of paying into something if you can't draw on it temporarily to get yourself back on an even keel.

I'm sending you all the best wishes. My mum found herself in a similar position 30 odd years ago. It was tough old slog for us but it was temporary and all worked out eventually.

so what about people who genuinely have these problems? and go to the gp genuinely in this situation?

People like you "playing the system" and spreading disinformation like this means health professionals who meet people saying this sort of thing know they are most likely to be people who are just reading a script off the internet, and don't mean it. And that leaves the genuine people where exactly?

And "they" didn't "chuck a bunch of meds at you" - medical professionals offered you one of the treatments in their armoury, and it didn't suit you so they offered you something else - this does in fact suit and help thousands of people