need to get a better handle on finances - where to start?

[nomoneymoreproblems]

I have so many money problems right now and I don't know where to begin sorting them.

1. every month I'm down to zero in my current account by mid month. I then either can't spend a penny (except food shopping which I put the money for in a separate account) or I'm adding things to the credit card. this means I'm obsessing over money and eating into the food shopping fund for other things.
2. myself, my partner and my eldest all work shifts. Meal planning is a nightmare but I know it would help me budget better.
3. we need to remortgage but I want to pay our credit cards down a bit first as they are almost all maxed out, this is easier said than done.
4. We owe a family member £6000, they have told us to stop repaying it for now, the plan was to get a lump sum on top of mortgage to pay this back but I'm unsure how likely it is we will be able to borrow more.
5. I am addicted to spending money on a stupid game on my phone. I have deleted my card from my phone last week so this is being dealt with and I can't continue this behaviour.

Has anyone got any advice of where to start. What a mess.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

Use this budget planner to work out your income and spendings. Be honest!

Move credit cards to 0 % balance transfer or loan to reduce interest payments.

You need to do a budget. Write it out. Every penny coming into the house to cover expenses and every penny that you spend. If you are at a deficit before thats even finished then you need to cut spending or earn more income.

Income.
You, dh & whatever is handed up by DC.

Then exp, mortgage bills council tax food insurance car tax and see where you are. I think stepchange may be able to help if you are in a deficit. They can give good advice.

Best of luck op.

Like others have said, you need to start by doing a budget so you know whether you're struggling because your outgoings exceed your income or because you're spending too much on non essentials as a household.

Go through the MSE budget with your partner to see where you stand. Also follow the advice on cutting costs, increasing income, and prioritising. This is a joint enterprise, so shouldn't all be on you. How is he with money?

Your eldest should be paying a decent amount of board and the three of you (and any other teens or older in the house) should all be cooking a meal or two a week. Can you all get together and agree a week's worth of meals that can be batch cooked and reheated - so curry, chilli, bolognese, slow cooked pulled pork etc. Also maybe have things in the freezer that can be cooked quickly (as well as frozen batch cooked food, frozen pizza, beige and chips etc) and also a supply of eggs, beans, soup and bread for easy and quick light meals. Then do a weekly shop or delivery for the ingredients.

On the debt, do not add any of it to the mortgage while your finances are in such a perilous position. Almost everyone who does this will run up more debt and ends up with a bigger mortgage and debt on top. If you haven't missed any payments, you might be able to transfer the balances to 0% interest deals so you can pay the debt down without a lot of the payments going on interest.

When you have done your budget, if you post it on the MSE debt free wannabe forum, you'll get advice on what the best course of action is to get out of debt.

Listen to podcasts, watch videos about personal finance.

Ramsey Show - USA - Has got millions out of debt, using the debt snowball method.

Meaningful Money - UK - Personal finance discussions and a free course on budgeting and money mindset (Meaningful Academy: Financial Foundation).

Making Money podcast / Damien Talks Money youtube - UK - Personal finance, aimed more at those in their 20's/30's/40's I would say as it is mostly to do with building wealth rather than retirement planning.

There are lots but those are good for getting you started. Podcasts are great for learning about topics as you can listen whilst walking the dog, cleaning the house, relaxing in the garden, travelling etc.

If you struggle to get past mid month you may find it easier to pay monthly bills first like mortgage, council tax, utilities, TV licence, Netflix etc at beginning of month then split remainder of money into 4 and spend 1/4 each week for food, fuel, etc. Also definitely do a large Bolognese that others can simply boil some pasta and add the Bolognese sauce and heat. I always do enough for 2 days at once. I often do a small shepherd's pie that all gets eaten the same day as well and freeze one too. You could try a couple of cheap meals each week. A cheese toasty and a bowl of homemade vegetable soup. Make enough soup for lunch the following day. One night a jacket potato with cheese and baked beans. It would stretch your budget further. You did really well to stop gambling/playing games that cost money. Keep that up.

All of the above and delete that game off your phone.

Maximise your income. Sell stuff you no longer need; check you are getting all your relevant benefits; check your tax code and if married look at married tax allowance; see if there's any tax breaks available to you;
Reduce outgoings. Shop around for cheaper utilities, cancel direct debits; see if union membership gives you any perks;

What works for us is having all bills coming out of a separate account all on direct debit, when we get paid a set amount goes into that account that covers bills, with a bit extra for a food shop. And a set amount goes into savings that’s not touched.

Then anything left is spends, but I know exactly how much that is, no surprises or trying to work out what’s still due to go out taking me by surprise.

Go through all your direct debits to check you’re not overpaying or paying for stuff you don’t need to, it’s surprising how much that can add up.

Are the credit cards all on 0% interest? If not move them now and keep track of when the rate runs out.