Tired

[whattodo89]

I'm tired of being in a financial hole and just do not see a way out. My partner earns 25k and so do I so a combined income of 50k. Both FT. He has worked hard and retrained alongside his current position but has been unable to get into a first position in his new field. We both work our socks off, earn just above the cut off for any support. In a tonne of debt, so a good chunk of the salaries we make go to paying that. Have an IVA to consolidate our debt but have had to take more loans when the car breaks or other unexpected financial burdens occur. I can't do anything nice for our children and get so stressed at birthdays and Christmases, scrambling around on Vinted trying to find bits. We shop around for best deals for food etc and keep our food bills low at about £80 p/w for 5 of us. My partner has large diesel costs for his commute to work. We don't pay for childcare. We don't have unnecessary outgoings. We don't go on days out or have any hobbies except scouts for our children, and even that is a push. We don't smoke or drink, no gym memberships, cheap phones (GiffGaff). I'm so tired of living like this. I can't afford a party for our child this year and feel so sad that we work hard and are in this situation. I don't know how to improve our situation.

So sorry to hear this :(

I found Dave Ramsey baby steps quite good so maybe look into those? Tackling the debt is probably the only way out. How much debt are you in?

As hard as it is when working FT hours, could either of you squeeze in extra work? I'm thinking driving for Uber 2 nights a week/ tutoring if you have GCSE+ level qualifications/ other side jobs?

If you could bring in an extra £200-400/ month to throw at the debt, that might lighten the load a bit more.

I looked into Uber a few months ago and can't remember why it went no further, I think I couldn't find many options where I live.

Because of his commute, partner isn't home until later, by which point tutoring would be tricky?

I don't even know how much debt we are in, I had a letter from tax credits on Friday saying we were overpaid for years between 2020 and 2022 (as we earn too much now) saying we owe 10k!! I know my husband currently pays 600 of his salary out of debt and I pay about 300 of mine on debt. His visa needs renewing every 2 years which costs thousands, that's what our last loan was for. By the time we have paid that off, it will be time to renew. We just can't catch a break.

So sorry to hear you're having a tough time OP. We are going through a similar phase at the moment so I feel your frustration.

Have you tried speaking to Step Change? They can offer advice on debt management.

With regards to having fun with the kids, if you have any national trust places near where you live that can be a really cheap way of having something to do at weekends/school holidays? Or do you have Tesco club are points you could save up and use?

Hi op, I didnt want to read and run. I hear you.

Things that have works for me in the past... (and currently)

I pay something odd my credit card every day. It might only be £1, but I do it. I basically 'tidy' the amount in my account up. It makes me feel like I'm doing something positive towards the debt, and it does slowly chip away at it.

I use cashback cards and accounts when I can. It adds up, especially if you can get people to sign up too.

I collect tesco club cards, and use the points for things like a free rail card,.travel, days out. It.means you can have a treat without feeling the guilt.

Sell, sell, sell. Anything you no longer need, and try not to buy 'stuff'.

We use chase accounts to.splitbpur money into 'pots'. Mortgage, council tax, food, bills etc. When we get paid, split it between each pot. Try to make sure there at least something in there for you. £5 on a bunch of flowers/wine/choxolatr/magazine may seem wasteful, but life can be a bloody long, miserable slog if you don't allow.yourself the occasional small treat. I think it's more realistic than doing nothing nice at all.

Meal planning, stretching your food, finding free or yellow.stickers, taking a portion out before serving, packed.lunch are all ways of cutting the food bill, but yours does seem good already.

Don't shut yourselves away. Invite friends for coffee, go for a walk and a picnic with them, do a Jacobs join. A good Time with friends can make everything better.

Say to yourself "there's more where that came.from" when you hand over money. Sounds weird, but it's true. There's plenty of.money 'out there' and some of it is yours.

I hope you feel.less exhausted soon

Have an IVA to consolidate our debt but have had to take more loans when the car breaks or other unexpected financial burdens occur

This bit jumps out at me. If you're in an IVA (is this both of you or just one of you?) then you're not supposed to take out more debt.

You're also supposed to have set a sustainable budget that includes things like car repairs, quite a generous grocery budget (at least double what you're currently allowing) and also a modest amount for leisure spending and your debt is paid from your surplus after that. Talk to your supervisor as it's not supposed to be how you describe.

The same goes if you're actually in a debt management plan. Debt repayments come after living costs not before.

Do you rent or own? If you rent, you shouldn't be in an IVA, a debt relief order or bankruptcy is more appropriate so you should look into that unless the IVA will finish in the next few months.

Can your DP find work closer to home? £25k isn't much above NMW so it's not worth the travel costs of a job that doesn't pay substantially above this.