Sick to death of grocery costs (1k/ month)

[Icannotbudget]

Our grocery bill has slowly increased and is now around 1k per month. This is for two adults, two very active teenage boys, and two dogs. This includes everything you would get from a supermarket eg personal care and laundry/ cleaning stuff.
Both kids are neurodivergent one in particular is very fussy and would rather go hungry than eat ‘cheap’ food. The older one just seems to need constant protein.
I am vege and pretty unfussy but don’t like freezer food. No alcohol and i shop at Aldi as much as poss but do use other supermarkets too.
DH works long hours and Ive just gone back full time and really struggling its impossible to cook from scratch every night.
Not sure if I want sympathy or strategies to be honest, its crippling me and im feeling really down.

My food bill for just me £200 a week.

How?!

£200 per week for 1 person?.What are you buying?

Many of the posts in this thread fall into the category of ‘how to show you know very little about autism [and that it’s a spectrum disorder] without saying you don’t know anything’.

That's the same way of thinking as 'there wasn't all this neurodiversity in my day, it's just snowflake kids these days'.

They didn't thrive
They didn't get the most out of their education
Lots of them fell through the cracks and ended up in poverty or in prison, when they might not have done if their ND had been recognised and treated.

Spot on.

But you can't do this all the time. I tried this once with baked beans - not sure which ones I swapped to and it was probably when Sainsbos/Tescos did their value ranges. I did tell the difference so moved back to Heinz.

My DM is one for this though, loves branded items but even now, she sometimes goes the other way, especially for e.g. lentils.

Shopping in all these different places takes time. The OP is already time poor and has a busy job, as does her OH.

Is there any food waste that can be rescued before it goes off and turned into a meal.

Sigh. I buy organic from a farm shop. But it’s not the point - I can afford it. And I want to because buying good quality and local and in season produce is important to me (and far better than importing shitty avocados and quinoa). If I wanted to buy cheap pesticide infected crap from any of the big supermarkets, I would.

You’re being ridiculous suggesting we should all stop eating meat and give up things we like when it makes no difference in the grand scheme of thing. I am not going to sacrifice my quality of life when 90% of the world is not changing the way they live. I’ll start making a change when people stop importing their shitty almond milk and avocados, stop jetting to get a bit of summer sun and countries like china and India cut back on the carbon emissions and engage in a meaningful way.

True but the Western obsession with endless pandering and labelling every whim as a sign of neurodiversity also has its downsides. It’s the other extreme.

I was a neurodivergent child born and raised in the USSR. Nobody knew, got my diagnosis in my 40s. Back then, unless you were mute, you weren’t considered autistic. And mute kids got locked up in not very nice places, often against their parents’ wishes.

Silver lining, I wasn’t ever forced to try new food, we only had herring, cabbage, bread and potatoes most of the time. And black pudding 🤮

But the biggest plus side imho was that I wasn’t subjected to the bigotry of low expectations.

Vegetarian meals according to her post.

As if vegetables are that expensive!

They are when they’re organic and locally produced. But as I said upthread, that’s only five days a week. I like good quality and can afford it. Not a crime, is it?

I sympathize with you OP. The mental load of being the sole meal-planner, chef and shopper is tough. Add picky eaters to the mix and it takes it to another level. What has saved me is getting a pressure cooker. I use it for a lot of main-dish meals, like soups with beans or lentils. You can soak the dried beans before you leave for work and add the veggies just before cooking. I try to stock up on things like carrots, onions, garlic, celery, cabbage, potatoes and dried beans, as they tend to last a while when stored properly. Also soups are good for the next day (or freeze) for later.
We stick to plain yogurt now and add our own fruit or a spoonful of honey, it's healthier and far cheaper. Fruit juice can be pricey, would dropping that be an option?

We are a family of 4 2 adults, 2 adults sized teens. I order our shopping and never spend over £100 a week, usually in the high £80s, and a £90 plus shop is always followed by one around£60 the week after. For full transparency, my family will.pick up some extras in the week occasionally, for around £20.

We don't starve, we don't eat crap, i cook most evenings. I'm a fan of meals made in 30 minutes, so no slaving away for hours each night. I do sometimes spend a couple of hours at the weekend cooking a few bits - maybe roast a meat/pop in some potatoes for baked spuds, make some soup by using last week's veg. Perhaps a bolognaise. But 90% of cooking done on the day.

We are a family of 6, the older 2 have left home. So I've had years of practice. Things I've learnt...

1. Don't over buy. I've found if food is there, they will eat it. So, buy less. Always have toast/cereal/fruit available, so they can't complain about being hungry. But expensive treats, extra rounds of bacon sarnies etc are not an option.

1. Bulk your meat/main, and then take out at least one portion before serving. Again, people eat what's there, so if you take a portion or two out and freeze it, that saves it all going. Then use the frozen portions for wraps/pittas another night.

1. Online shopping is your friend. It's less exhausting, you can control your budget, and generally it's less stressful.

1. Order weekly, without fail. Otherwise you end up bobbing to the expensive corner shop.

1. Have a rough plan. I buy aproximately the same each week. Frozen chicken fillets, 1 beef or pork product, 1 slow cook/roast meat. I top up carbs required that week and tins. I always buy eggs, butter, cheese (I add a different one each week, plus cheddar), then loads of vegetables and fruit. Anything that's on offer. Then I add a wild card ingredient, something i don't usually buy. This makes me cook something different each week.

1. Search for any food larder type places. We have one where we sometimes get free bread etc. It all helps.

1. Add an egg to everything. My teen boy loves a fried/poached/boiled egg on most meals if I let him.

1. Always have 1 emergency meal up your sleeve. Our freezer always has a bag if frozen chips in for those really can't be arsed days, and I buy 1 'oven'meal a week. This week it will be vegeburger, chips, salad.

1. If you're feeling up to it, cook 2 meals at once. I sometimes whip up a sauce whilst cooking another meal. I then use the water I've used for veg to boil some pasta and veg. Pop it all in a casserole dish and put in fridge. Next day, sprinkle cheese on, pop in oven whilst making a salad. Pasta bake in no time.

To be honest, I don't know how people spend £200 plus a week, I wouldn't have the kitchen space for it!

FIFTY POUNDS A DAY? What the hell do you eat?

Vegetarian meals aren’t just vegetables.

In any case vegetables have gone up in price. I was in Iceland yesterday. A bag of frozen spinach that was £1 is now £2. Double. Same for peas and pretty much everything else. Yesterday I bought beetroot, dill, 4 bananas, a small bag of nuts and some feta from my local Asian shop and it cost me £12. That’s not even a meal.

How do you expect your ND kids to ever function independently if they can’t make some compromises on food? They’re going to have to run their own budget at some point.

Of course it's not a crime, but this thread is about the OP getting her food bill down, and people are humble-bragging about spending £200 a week on vegetables. That's not really helpful or in the spirit of advice the OP needs. 🙄

Well done you.

"I managed without any support so everyone else should too"

I offered advice and what I actually said was in reply to a poster telling OP (who has a neurodivergent son so has to give him particular food) to go vegetarian and it was automatically cheaper - because it’s not if you want decent food (which is what OP wants).

Besides, is her son has specific dietary requirements she can’t just go ‘fuck it, he can starve if he won’t eat it.’ Which is what the poster I quoted was effectively saying given OPs posts about what her son will and won’t eat 😊

It wasn’t a humble brag - it was shooting down someone that OP had already called unhelpful. I was just reinforcing OPs point. I did also offer advice on cutting down costs.

Sigh. I buy organic from a farm shop. But it’s not the point - I can afford it. And I want to because buying good quality and local and in season produce is important to me

Then no wonder it’s bloody £200 a week!

It’s a great water softener so depending on how hard your water is, you may not need conditioner if you use it

That’s true, but like many other, I regularly have a sweary rant about the cost of it all!

Next time you try sarcasm, think of something that doesn’t involve putting words in other people’s mouths.

Good luck!

You can get grain-free dog food for much less than £25 a week @Icannotbudget.

My beagle is on a grain-free diet and we spend about £40 every six weeks. We buy direct from the supplier (Harringtons) and in bulk to save money. I only give a small amount of wet food mixed in with the dry which saves even more money. You can also add warm water or an egg to the dry food to make it more interesting too.