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Sick to death of grocery costs (1k/ month)

770 replies

Icannotbudget · 26/04/2024 22:46

Our grocery bill has slowly increased and is now around 1k per month. This is for two adults, two very active teenage boys, and two dogs. This includes everything you would get from a supermarket eg personal care and laundry/ cleaning stuff.
Both kids are neurodivergent one in particular is very fussy and would rather go hungry than eat ‘cheap’ food. The older one just seems to need constant protein.
I am vege and pretty unfussy but don’t like freezer food. No alcohol and i shop at Aldi as much as poss but do use other supermarkets too.
DH works long hours and Ive just gone back full time and really struggling its impossible to cook from scratch every night.
Not sure if I want sympathy or strategies to be honest, its crippling me and im feeling really down.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
LuckySantangelo35 · 27/04/2024 13:48

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:31

@fieldsofbutterflies yeah let's just keep expecting women to overcompensate and spend more time, energy and resource on trying to keep things ticking over rather than even attempting to make even the smallest of changes. Women's needs are negligible after all-let's just keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

Deffo think there’s an element of this.

OP is the only one being expected to make changes and compromise - no one else in the family.

that’s not fair is it ?

followmyflow · 27/04/2024 13:48

im starting to dislike the suggestions of batch cooking. yes its a good thing to do, if youve loads of time and also the inclination, but it doesnt seem like OP does. and neither do i. i only manage to batch cook once a week on average. and i live alone! and if husband doesnt cook then its all going to fall on OP. unless she makes her teenagers cook.

i understand you OP, this is just how expensive food is now and its not going to go back. salaries should rise but of course they dont. mine didnt even keep up with inflation so ive had an effective pay cut.

in my opinion it should be one of two options - either two full-time incomes can support a family including conveniences, or one person should be free to spend lots of time meal planning and slaving over an oven. don't think either of those options are possible right now though.

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:49

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you are actually being incredibly ableist in your responses to me. I spent years as a support worker for adults with disabilities who wanted support to live independent lives and wanted to build their skills and confidence in completing tasks that others may find easy. They did not want someone else deciding what they could and could not achieve. They were tired of being told "no". They wanted the space to be able to test their own abilities and make informed choices about their own needs.

How dare you twist me saying that we need to instil the value of decency into our children into some disgusting comment about a person in a wheelchair being forced to walk? What is wrong with you? You really need to do some self reflection if you really do work with people or children with disabilities, because I would hate to think how you speak to people in real life if you respond to people on line in this way.

And I will repeat myself again: regardless of whether a person has a disability or not, we need to instil the values of decency, independence and understanding to the next generation.

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/04/2024 13:49

Yeah batch cooking is never the answer

who wants to spend all day on a Sunday in the kitchen?!

nah! Weekends are for fun

TwelveTimesTables · 27/04/2024 13:49

Hi OP,

I'm ND with very restricted food options. I think you're right that without the right food we'd just starve. I really have no choice as the side effects of eating the wrong food are crippling.

My DS is also ND and our food bill is also high.

The flip side is that we know exactly what we want to eat and how much, and not one scrap is wasted. So that's good.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have wheat intolerant dogs. That is really unlucky on top of everything else.

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:51

@ColBoulter I was agreeing with your point about your husband taking responsibility for his own food choices-I was not arguing with you.

laclochette · 27/04/2024 13:51

Before anyone assumes, I don't work for a supermarket, but they are not driving higher profits via higher margins. British supermarkets run on virtually the tightest margins of any industry in the world (paying producers and farmers very low prices is part of that, but it means we spend less on food as a proportion of income than most comparable countries, so that is ultimately driven by consumer desire for low prices).

Sainsbury's own data says that their record profits are due to big increases in volume - not margin. And I do rather feel for Sainsbury's, as they chose to cut their slim margin even further last year and "invest in costs" instead - ie, absorb cost increases to some extent rather than passing them fully onto the consumer, then they get accused of ripping people off!

Food costs have gone up hugely and unfortunately will continue to go up with the recent wet weather further driving up the price of food, and as further climate crises unfold.

None of this is to take away from the fact that the steep inflation in food is really hitting people and hurting many, but to simply say "we are being rinsed by the supermarkets" shows a lack of understanding of the structure of the industry. They make less money per product sold than almost any other business.

(CEO compensation is absolutely out of hand, totally agree there, that is a wider societal issue)

Peonies12 · 27/04/2024 13:52

HesterPrincess · 27/04/2024 09:07

There's only DH and I at home - I'm a low carb veggie due to being diabetic, he's a very fussy meat eater and we spend £200 a week on food (that includes lunch to take to work). I also get extra in for the DC/grandkids as they all appear and raid the fridge over the weekend. Two dogs on grain free food and meat toppers = £120 a month. I also get a large Riverford box at £30. So our monthly spend is £1040 without adding on treat/top ups from M & S in the week. Bloody ridiculous when neither of us drink and I'm not ordering caviar/lobster.... it's just ordinary food.

Well it’s clearly not just ordinary food. We’re 2 adults and usually £60/£70 a week. You must have a lot of food waste.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 27/04/2024 13:54

Justme2023123 · 27/04/2024 00:31

Coz the OP is vegetarian, so won't eat meat if that's what her DC are having

Ok thanks, I missed that!

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:55

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/04/2024 13:49

Yeah batch cooking is never the answer

who wants to spend all day on a Sunday in the kitchen?!

nah! Weekends are for fun

Women innit? No time for fun, noses to the grindstone!

flowertoday · 27/04/2024 13:55

Re dog food , we have two dogs and are not on a high income. I love my dogs so much and am quite happy to go without haircuts, nails , new clothes etc but couldn't do without them.

Zooplus.co.uk is good for buying grain free food in bulk. Grain free wet food is more expensive but you can do without that if the kibble is the main food. We use other toppers like meat scraps from a roast , cheap liver that has been cooked ( big treat) or just cheap dog friendly chopped fruit and veg.

We are four adults, two teens and two dogs and we only shop at lidl or aldi to keep costs down.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 27/04/2024 13:56

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:49

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you are actually being incredibly ableist in your responses to me. I spent years as a support worker for adults with disabilities who wanted support to live independent lives and wanted to build their skills and confidence in completing tasks that others may find easy. They did not want someone else deciding what they could and could not achieve. They were tired of being told "no". They wanted the space to be able to test their own abilities and make informed choices about their own needs.

How dare you twist me saying that we need to instil the value of decency into our children into some disgusting comment about a person in a wheelchair being forced to walk? What is wrong with you? You really need to do some self reflection if you really do work with people or children with disabilities, because I would hate to think how you speak to people in real life if you respond to people on line in this way.

And I will repeat myself again: regardless of whether a person has a disability or not, we need to instil the values of decency, independence and understanding to the next generation.

Stop twisting, I was giving an example you said children need to learn to eat what they are given and have some decency!!

Just because some will eat anything does not mean they are more decent than someone that has issues around food

I am very concerned that you work with people with disabilities and think that they can be made decent, funnily enough you did not use my other example.

If you think I am being ableist you need to give your head a wobble.

Your posts on this thread are here for all to see.

ColBoulter · 27/04/2024 13:59

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 13:51

@ColBoulter I was agreeing with your point about your husband taking responsibility for his own food choices-I was not arguing with you.

Oh I see 😂
Yes
I took the line with him and then our DC that I gave zero shits what they ate ( obviously healthy food, minimal crap in the house)

Imagine every time you ate, an anxious hovering adult appeared and monitored you and every mouthful
It would put anyone off.

Purplecatshopaholic · 27/04/2024 14:00

I spend around 1k a month for two of us, and three dogs and cats. We don’t drink alcohol. I don’t think we eat particularly well either. Dont know where it all goes tbh. Lots on dog food right enough as they are big dogs.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 27/04/2024 14:00

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 12:18

I'm sorry OP but I'd stop pandering to your children-they are old enough to understand the situation neurodivergent or not. After all, what will your son who "won't" eat cheaper food do when he's living in his own home as an adult? They are old enough to be doing some of their own cooking, learning about budgeting and doing some of the shopping. Stop taking all this on yourself and work to instil some independence, decency and understanding into your children.

Read again what you wrote and you will see that you are saying you do not think that the OPs children or any people with should have issues and they are old enough to understand. IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 14:00

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you really seem to have pounced on my use of the word "decency" and I am not sure you actually understand what it means. So here is the dictionary definition: "The personal quality of decency is one of honesty, good manners, and respect for other people"

Are you telling me that you do not think people with disabilities are able to exhibit those behaviours? If that is truly the case then you need to stop working with people with disabilities because you are in the wrong profession.

GoodnightAdeline · 27/04/2024 14:01

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/04/2024 13:48

Deffo think there’s an element of this.

OP is the only one being expected to make changes and compromise - no one else in the family.

that’s not fair is it ?

It is quite tiresome reading about women bending over backwards to wait on their older teens and husbands while the rest of the family does absolutely nothing, especially when the family make such specific demands as eating the same 2 expensive and time-consuming meals on repeat.

I see it on Facebook all the time - ‘my children will only wear Nike trainers, where is the cheapest place I can buy as I’m skint’

It’s wild

PamPamPamPam · 27/04/2024 14:01

@TheSpoonyNavyReader and stop shouting, you should be able to have a debate or a heated discussion with some maturity.

Absolutely45 · 27/04/2024 14:01

When item x was £2 in 2020 and then went up 50% over the next 2 years, we were all told Ukraine/Covid/energy costs... fair enough but energy has dropped down loads, diesel down from £2l to £1.50 for example as have most commodities, wages have gone up on avg 15% over the same period.

But that item is still £3, and is now going up by 10% so now £3.30, then another 10%, then 5% .... now that item is near £4... cheaper non branded items have been hit the worst, which is what i tend to buy and i see 5 or 10% added regularly, every 2 or 3 months at least.

Why? because this is what we are buying the most often, items that we don't buy very often are not going up as much but production costs should be the same?

Meanwhile the supermarkets are making record profits.... that price matching cuts both way, if they see an item 10p more in a rival, they put up their item by 10p too....

There is no real competition, we all need food and they put profits, record ones too, above anything else.

LuluBlakey1 · 27/04/2024 14:03

DrunkenElephant · 26/04/2024 22:48

I don’t have any tips but I’m sending solidarity.

Food costs are crippling, out of all the CoL increases this is definitely the one I’m feeling the most.

And supermarkets are making huge profits. It isn't economic inflation- it is greed for money.

Doobydoo · 27/04/2024 14:03

I hear you op! Intolerances here(including one of our 2 dogs). 2 meat eaters and 2 vegetarians. It is really really tough.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/04/2024 14:03

WhoppingBigBackside · 27/04/2024 13:43

@ThisOldThang , Lurpak isn't butter. I love butter but I don't need it.

The "spreadable" stuff isn't pure butter - though it contains it - but they do produce an acual real butter, albeit made slightly differently to others:
"What makes Lurpak butter different?"
"The most valuable and flavoursome part of the milk – the cream – is carefully "ripened" before the butter making process. Lactic cultures are added, giving a fresh and slightly aromatic note with the unmistakable creaminess that creates the characteristic Lurpak® flavour"

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 27/04/2024 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SaltBlossom · 27/04/2024 14:09

Most people on this thread have NO CLUE about food issues and ASD.
My autistic DD likes rich tea biscuits. She thinks she only likes mcvities. I have replaced them secretly with own brand but if she ever sees the packet she will never eat them again, or trust me!