Sick to death of grocery costs (1k/ month)

[Icannotbudget]

Our grocery bill has slowly increased and is now around 1k per month. This is for two adults, two very active teenage boys, and two dogs. This includes everything you would get from a supermarket eg personal care and laundry/ cleaning stuff.
Both kids are neurodivergent one in particular is very fussy and would rather go hungry than eat ‘cheap’ food. The older one just seems to need constant protein.
I am vege and pretty unfussy but don’t like freezer food. No alcohol and i shop at Aldi as much as poss but do use other supermarkets too.
DH works long hours and Ive just gone back full time and really struggling its impossible to cook from scratch every night.
Not sure if I want sympathy or strategies to be honest, its crippling me and im feeling really down.

I’m also fed up with cooking. I feel like I’m always needing to restock my cupboards/ fridge because the size of many food items have gotten smaller but increased in price. Shopping takes me twice as long because I’m constantly down branding or more conscious about the prices. The thing is most cheaper branded foods have so many nasty ingredients in them so I’m not always happy to buy . I don’t find Aldi and Lidl cheaper anymore, I shop around and mostly shop in Sainsburys - I went into Aldi yesterday and many of their items unless own brand were more expensive.

Op you haven't specified specifically what the fussy eaters requires so it's hard to properly advise, but we also had a food bill that was getting out of hand. The good news is that when it's this high, some relatively simple cuts can make a big difference while still allowing you to not compromise in certain places. Here are some of the things I am doing. We were getting to about £900 -£1000 per month and am now down to about £700 without anyone really noticing the difference.

1 really look out for deals when it's on things you really have eg baked beans, mest, cereal etc and stock up what you can. Also cleaning products, dishwasher tabs etc

2 meal plan so that there's no waste and you can take a consolidated view. I try to ensure at least 2-3 meals a week are super cheap

3 as part of meal planning, what options to stretch are there? I bulk out bolognaise with extra veg and lentils, add chopped chorizo to v basic meals to make them more appealing (eg bean stew type things), use less meat in a stir fry etc.

4 shop online so you can properly compare prices. It can be much more difficult in store. We do buy in a certain amount of juice/drinks but I buy the brand or size pack that's cheapest each week. Eggs are another example - I was surprised recently to see that free range eggs even at waitrose can vary in price hugely depending on the brand.

Depending on your veggie flexibility, ditto. Seasonality and availability do make a difference in price. Eg I always buy cabbage but what cabbage changes every week.

5 as a die hard lurpak girl, I have been very pleased to discover that the Lidl dupe really is basically identical and a LOT cheaper. Lidl is also my go-to for decent quality and priced olive oil, pork schnitzel, peanut butter (without sugar or palm oil), granola and sauvignon blanc! 😆

5 I hear you that you don't like "beige" food for the freezer but there are some decent options that will be much cheaper than ready meals. Eg I buy fishcakes (often on deals) or crumbed/battered fish fillets or we buy waitrose chicken crumbed steaks in bulk as a much nicer version of nuggets that are relatively inexpensive and good for when ds and dh want an easy meal or need a more substantial snack.

6 pet food - I keep an eye on pets at-home website and get ours when they do deals. Dcat has just had food for the next 3 months delivered at a 20% saving.

We eat the same thing every week:
Sunday - roast dinner (chicken or pork)
Monday - Lentil and cauliflower curry with rice
Tuesday - Fish fillets for DP & me, fish fingers for the kids, with home made sweet potato wedges and peas/broccoli
Wednesday - Either spaghetti bolognese or chilli
Thursday - Pasta with pesto and med veg
Friday - Salmon side with baby potatoes, dressing and veg
Saturday - ad hoc, usually something like mushroom risotto or chickpea stew depending on what we feel like making

Then I buy yoghurts, fruit, crumpets, turkey slices, Pom bears, soup, Weetabix for breakfasts and lunches.

All comes to under £100 a week, usually more like £85. But very rare for it to go over £100 and that’s usually because I’m bulk buying nappies on offer or DS’s follow on milk, or topping up on washing powder.

I appreciate my kids are little but even if times and half to account for teens, it would be £630.

I don’t understand these ‘I can’t get my food bill under £1000 unless I starve myself’ posts at all

This is sadly true, especially in those developing countries where starvation is real

No doubt some of their children would also become "picky" if it was an option, but because it's not the same latitude just isn't possible

1 teen, 1 tween, me and 5 cats - no way could we spend that in a month (I don't earn much more than that!!!) we spend £250, shop at Asda. With £50 every couple of months for toiletries at the pound shop.

Cook from scratch, freeze leftovers.
I buy non branded.

I sympathise, food is ridiculously expensive, especially essential healthy foods such as fruit and vegetables. However this post should serve as a warning to parents of younger children; don’t introduce them at all to ultra processed branded foods which are highly addictive and will only exacerbate any ND issues. Stick to cheap, nutritious and healthy food from the start and they won’t know any difference. Oats, rice, pasta, beans, lentils, eggs and dairy should form the the base of a low cost high nutrition diet supplemented with fruits, vegetables and animal protein (the latter is not essential if eggs and dairy are consumed).

@MariaLuna

so should op get rid of the dogs in order to buy lurpak and tons more protein for her sons?

@GoodnightAdeline would you mind sharing your recipe for cauliflower and lentil curry please? I'd love to reduce our meat consumption.

And I’ll repost my non toxic cheap as chips all use homemade cleaning product I posted on another thread:

mix white vinegar, lemon juice from a bottle, bicarbonate of soda and essential oil of choice in a spray bottle and use it for everything from windows, mirrors, floors and surfaces. The only other cleaning products needed will be washing up liquid and laundry detergent.

Cook Chilli Con Carne and Bolognese and Chicken Wraps every day except one.Cook double each time.
Buy filling breakfast cerealslike Weetabix.Eat eggs, and more pulses and vegetables. Buy bulk cheese and fruit in season.

It is expensive. Limit the options to easy cook.

Of course! It’s really simple - no complicated bloody herbs and spices required 😜

Warm 2-3 tablespoons of red curry paste in a pan depending on how spicy you want it - I use 2 because I have small children and keep it mild. Add 1 tin of coconut milk, 1 pint of water, about 200g of lentils and a chopped up cauliflower head (or can use frozen). Simmer for half an hour on low heat and it’s done. I sometimes add chopped cubes of sweet potato if I have any lying about.

is this the new Mumsnet Gammon, to replace the chicken?

I've found chicken breasts fills my very sporty teen boy well. I also cook a 1 kg vat of Bolognese made with minced steak once a week and freeze into separate portions. DD just takes out a portion and has it the week with some wholemeal spaghetti. Often two portions on separate days midweek. He likes salmon filets cooked in lemon juice and a small jacket potato. My teen makes himself sausages, hash browns and a couple of fried eggs for breakfast every day with some fresh juice. He has to make do with a meal deal for lunch so sandwich/sushi/wrap a snack and a drink. He eats a lot of fruit apples, bananas and oranges in particular but blueberries, raspberries and mango chunks into a fruit smoothie every day. I put carrot sticks and cucumber sticks in the fridge in a beaker every day and he guzzles those down. He doesn't eat crisps, hardly any bread or desserts. I spend £150 per week for 3 of us but believe me DH and I would only be eating £70 between us. DH is a vegetarian so no eat. DS is a foster child and SW tells us if he lived independently after 18 he should budget £25-30 per week for food. DS has £30 a week for lunch every week. We can never believe how SW thinks it costs so little to feed a sporty teen 17 year old boy.

There is much less choice to begin with so maybe not aware of other options and have what is there?

I think some people underestimate the difficulties around eating for ND people - false packaging isn't going to fool someone who is hyper sensitive to textures, taste, and smell - trust me they can tell instantly.

If OP has found healthy food that her ND son can eat, then she is doing well - I have an autistic friend in his 40s who is slowly dying due to his absolute refusal over the past 4 decades to eat any fruit or vegetables. If you sneak stuff into a ND person's food, it can turn them off entire food groups altogether and erode their trust in you.

Unfortunately, it really is tricky to keep costs down when you're time poor and buying large bulks of meat and other produce can end up more expensive if you accidentally let it go to waste (e.g. don't freeze/cook/prepare it instantly). My mum waxes lyrical about her infamous mumsnettian chicken, but the reality is that she's been a SAHW for the last 40 years - she has time to source the cheapest meats and then prepare and slow cook them over the course of an entire day. Her job is literally budgeting I guess! It's a lot harder when you work 40+ hours a week and have to cater to differing tastes.

I do think there's been some good suggestions upthread about quicker ways to batch cook or how to easily prepare multiple meals at the same time, but other suggestions have just been outright naive.

FWIW, our costs are quite high too due to my DH's diet (he can't eat pulses, onions, garlic, wheat, etc) so for the two of us + two cats our groceries can add up to 150+ per week.

Parents are allowing their children to weaponise their so called neurodivergency to run rings around their parents and rule the roost

Indeed, @Borntrippy
In fairness nobody's suggesting forcing them to eat known loathed foods just because they can, and youngsters should have some agency over what they eat - but not to this extent

As someone else said, you should be able to claim DLA/PIP for your kids.

It’s DLA until they’re sixteen and then you have to reapply for PIP. No-one told me I could do this so I missed out on a lot of money. DLA is fairly easy to get (or was - who knows these days!) and PIP is more tricky but seems to be granted more easily to kids because they’ve got someone to care for them (it’s not meant to work that way but in my experience it does). For anyone who’s claiming UC I think you are entitled to more if your child gets DLA. I was on tax credits though so I’m not sure.

I’d buy Aldi lurpak and put it into an original lurpak pack🤣 see if they notice!

Someone tried that at my work.
You can tell the difference.
It just didn't taste the same at all.

We currently have 4 million people claiming some form of disability benefit in the U.K.

Please don’t urge somebody ‘Claim benefits! Claim benefits!’ Just because their child mainly eats bolognese.

The welfare bill is astronomical and unaffordable as it is

Well said it’s nuts that this has even been suggested. It’s like the high functioning ASD kids who get taxis paid for them to go to school as heaven forbid they walk or get on a bus!

It's not that simple, unfortunately.

If they can't handle the taste or texture, they just won't eat. It's not a case of "they won't know about Lurpack so they'd just eat what's on offer" - it's a case of "they won't eat what's on offer and as there's no alternative they'll just go without".

Children in this country end up in hospital or on specialised diets because they refuse food - In countries where that's not an option, those children sadly don't make it, or end up incredibly malnourished if they do.

I fear very seriously unwell people will face a cut to their benefits because they’ll reduce benefits themselves rather than the number of people claiming them. The system has gone mad, some people are on PIP where their main issue is listed as ‘writer’s cramp’!

@Borntrippy I’m autistic and I would literally heave at the thought of most foods. Not sure how much of this was caused by anxiety but that’s not relevant.

I was quite underweight and my grandad would weigh me every day. I never thought anything of it but he must have been really worried. I remember being 2 stones 10 for ages! I wouldn’t have eaten what was put in front of me and I’d just sit in the school hall with my semolina in front of me after all the other kids had gone outside.

I wasn’t a demanding child at all and wasn’t refusing food to be manipulative.

People become attached to the things they are familiar with. You can’t become fixated on a type of food you’ve never been given.
Presumably ND kids in poor circumstances will eat a limited range of things from the foods that are part of their lives. So will maybe only eat rice, lentils and fish but not anything else. If you’ve never eaten fillet steak it’s not going to be one of your safe foods is it?