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Original poster

Moving to save money

45 replies

Beansandneedles · 15/04/2024 10:45

I live in a city in the South. The cost of living crises means we're not really making use of it, much more likely to either stay at home or pack a lunch and head to the countryside or coast for a day of free fun. Even things like dentist appointments feel like a luxury right now. We're having to be very very careful with our money.

As my partner and I work remotely we're questioning the sense of living here vs somewhere more affordable. However, this would be a big move. Affordable places are all hours away from where we currently are. Also, we have no idea where to start. With no family or work ties there's no location to hone in on. Honestly it feels very daunting to even just think about it!!

There's an established circle of friends here, so a steady flow of loved faces and also support for babysitters and playdates. Also, I know this place really well having lived here on and off for most of my adult life. But knowing there are houses out there which are half the price of ours (and often bigger) feels like something which should be considered carefully. If we moved we'd be very unlikely to be able to afford to move back. I've suggested we rent first to see how it goes, but my OH isn't up for it. He has a point, if we move then we're uprooting the kids and doing that potentially twice feels like a lot of upheaval.

pros for staying

  • our friends /support network are here
  • we know the area well
  • we love the school (DS is in school, DD starts in 2025)
  • lots of employment opportunities here (thinking about the kids in 10 years time)

pros for leaving

  • will be instantaneously better off and therefore wouldn't be needing to watch every single penny. We'd be able to do more day to day fun things, go on holidays, save, invest in pensions etc so also securing our future
  • we're not really using the city anyway, and are outdoorsy people, so we'd move somewhere with more activities that we gravitate towards right on our doorstep
  • we'd buy a bigger house so wouldn't be tripping over each other, and have a second loo which feels like something which would be very nice to have as our family grows

We're nice people, we love to host and join community activities so I feel like, with time and effort we would make new friends. But it still feels huge and it's making me pendulum back and forth.

I guess the question is, better the devil you know, or risk it all in the hopes it'll be better?

Anyone been in this situation? What did you do? Where did you go?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MrsBobtonTrent · 17/04/2024 20:32

We started with a map to get an initial list of towns in our range. Then lots of datasets downloadable from ONS FOI website. Then googling the shortlist to find info for the final columns. Fun times!

ChangeAgain2 · 17/04/2024 20:45

My parents are currently looking. They had no particular area in mind so it was extremely daunting. We narrowed it down by looking at crime rates. I think we googled lowest crime rates in each county. Then looked at the flood risks in those areas. Anyway, it still a work in progress.

SuncreamAndIceCream · 17/04/2024 20:47

I think @MrsBobtonTrent has hit on the solution.

Me and DH moved from a big city to a town of 40k people (one cinema, one theatre, one gym, a few really good restaurants, "stuff" generally going on, countryside walkable from the front door) and we love it. I think the 'no direct train to London' is bang on as well. We ended up here sort of by accident but it's turned out brilliant.

Wish you the best of luck in your hunt.

KK05 · 17/04/2024 21:32

So not same area as you but similar but different situation. No kids involved just me and DH.

We moved from the country to city centre. I initially loved the move. Everything was on our doorstep etc but then I started to feel lonely. I didn't realise how much I enjoyed quick coffees with friends or an impromptu night out. I soon realised that having good friends / family nearby was much better than convenience for everything else. A visit to a friend for coffee would be 1 hr travelling minimum.

We were working so much that making new friends wasn't as easy as we hoped. We are both outgoing and very sociable. Both our mental health started to suffer and arguments were becoming common. As much as we love each other not having our time apart was tiring.

I would say the grass isn't always greener and what you think would be amazing might in reality not be so great. You do have kids though so might be easier meeting new people through them.

After about 3 years we moved back. We initially rented out our place in the city (made more than enough to cover the mortgage ) and rented back where we came from.

Would renting your place out for the first year and you guys renting where you want to move be an option. I know it's a lot of upheaval etc but this way you know if a permanent move is the best thing for you as a family. At the end of the year you can then make the decision to sell your old place and buy something or if it's not working then you still have your house to return to.?

Original poster
Beansandneedles · 18/04/2024 19:54

@KK05 I'm glad you were able to get back!

I've suggested we rent first to see how it goes. Called it a 'soft launch', but my OH isn't up for it. He has a point I guess, if we move then we're uprooting the kids and doing that potentially twice feels like a lot of upheaval. But I can't shake the feeling I'll regret this experiment.

I started a new term at a toddler class today with 10 other families, we've skipped a few terms, but we knew 9 of the families there. 6 we knew because we'd met them there, but 3 were people we knew from elsewhere who just happened to have gone along. I do not live in a small place, this class is not in my area of the city, so it's not expected that you'd just bump into people like that. Then last night en route home we bumped into friends and ended up going to theirs for dinner, this afternoon we bumped into two more friends in the shop. We've spent 2 days this week at friends houses. It's part of the routine. I've worked so hard to build these relationships, and I love how connected I feel here.

DH is much less people orientated than me. He works from home, runs for his exercise/downtime. I wonder if this is making it easier to consider leaving. He takes the kids out sometimes and is pretty amazed at how many people know them (me and the smalls are a chatty crew, we make friends everywhere), but that didn't happen overnight, it took effort and time. My friends here go back to 2009, and in this current neighbourhood I've spent a good 6 years shaping the community. I don't see people as often as I'd like outside of the school run, but I'm not underestimating how lush it is that when my son started school we knew over half the kids in his class already. That didn't happen by accident, I worked at it. It's a lot to give up.

OP posts:
KK05 · 18/04/2024 21:40

Beansandneedles · 18/04/2024 19:54

@KK05 I'm glad you were able to get back!

I've suggested we rent first to see how it goes. Called it a 'soft launch', but my OH isn't up for it. He has a point I guess, if we move then we're uprooting the kids and doing that potentially twice feels like a lot of upheaval. But I can't shake the feeling I'll regret this experiment.

I started a new term at a toddler class today with 10 other families, we've skipped a few terms, but we knew 9 of the families there. 6 we knew because we'd met them there, but 3 were people we knew from elsewhere who just happened to have gone along. I do not live in a small place, this class is not in my area of the city, so it's not expected that you'd just bump into people like that. Then last night en route home we bumped into friends and ended up going to theirs for dinner, this afternoon we bumped into two more friends in the shop. We've spent 2 days this week at friends houses. It's part of the routine. I've worked so hard to build these relationships, and I love how connected I feel here.

DH is much less people orientated than me. He works from home, runs for his exercise/downtime. I wonder if this is making it easier to consider leaving. He takes the kids out sometimes and is pretty amazed at how many people know them (me and the smalls are a chatty crew, we make friends everywhere), but that didn't happen overnight, it took effort and time. My friends here go back to 2009, and in this current neighbourhood I've spent a good 6 years shaping the community. I don't see people as often as I'd like outside of the school run, but I'm not underestimating how lush it is that when my son started school we knew over half the kids in his class already. That didn't happen by accident, I worked at it. It's a lot to give up.

What you're describing is exactly what I missed. We both of us really.

This week alone I've had dinner with my mum, coffee with a friend and had my sister over with her family. When we lived further afield this would never have happened. It all had to be prearranged weeks in advance. My DH has been to the quiz night in our local and tonight he's a mates for curry. Then tomorrow we're meeting another couple for dinner.

I can see from other comments it can work.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

PieonaBarm · 19/04/2024 06:43

Dacadactyl · 15/04/2024 22:12

Decided on the basis of price and the fact one of us had wider family in the area.

Places like Accrington in Lancashire would get you a 4 bed, 2 bathroom place for approx 200k. I have never been there so not sure whether its ok or not, but I know it's fairly cheap. The weather might put you off though.

Lincolnshire also good for cheap properties.

I work in Accrington. Avoid it. Yes it's cheap, but there's a reason for that. Surrounding areas such as Rossendale and Ribble Valley are lovely with good links to Manchester but you won't get what you're after for 250k. And the weather is appalling.

oiltrader · 19/04/2024 10:29

Don't assume your DC will end up working in the local area. x

Original poster
Beansandneedles · 20/04/2024 19:13

oiltrader · 19/04/2024 10:29

Don't assume your DC will end up working in the local area. x

Wasn't thinking of them in adulthood, but more when they're teenagers if they wanted part time jobs.

OP posts:
Pamcakey · 21/04/2024 06:27

We did, partly as we wanted land (we have horses and wanted them at home plus cost of livery was prohibitive).

We moved 200 miles and it was the best decision we’ve ever made. We have made loads of friends, the area is gorgeous. Our house cost 75k more; it’s twice the size stunning character property plus 8 acres of land, stables and a riding arena.

Chaosx3x · 21/04/2024 06:48

Following with interest as a)I’m wondering if you might currently live where we live 😂 and b) we want to do something similar but we don’t work remotely so that’s a slight barrier for us! In your shoes OP I’d do it in a heartbeat. You sound very socially skilled so I imagine that within a year you’d have similar levels of connection wherever you move to.

Original poster
Beansandneedles · 21/04/2024 08:30

@Chaosx3x I'll pm you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansandneedles · 21/04/2024 08:31

Beingboredisgoodforyou · 21/04/2024 07:09

Wow with a basement!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansandneedles · 21/04/2024 08:31

Bjorkdidit · 21/04/2024 06:02

OP you might be interested to learn that Leeds has just been voted as the best place to live in north and northeast England by the Sunday Times.

https://leeds-list.com/lifestyle/leeds-rightly-named-as-the-best-place-to-live-in-the-north-north-east-by-the-sunday-times/

That is very interesting!

OP posts:
Vod · 21/04/2024 08:52

Are you in a place where friends are likely to stick around once DC are older? I think I'd factor that into my decision making.

SquashPenguin · 21/04/2024 09:03

I moved to South Wales. My family in Bristol were speechless at the how far my money went here compared to Bristol. Cardiff is half an hour away, and the Brecon Beacons on my doorstep. I couldn’t be happier 😊

Original poster
Beansandneedles · 21/04/2024 20:39

Vod · 21/04/2024 08:52

Are you in a place where friends are likely to stick around once DC are older? I think I'd factor that into my decision making.

Definitely is something I've brought up. It feels very transient tbh, but then the friends we see most regularly have all just moved to bigger houses within the city, done the expansions etc and say they have no intentions of leaving. At the same time the friends we see now are mostly dictated by me, whereas I know the years are coming where it will be DC having more of an influence on our/their social circles. Feel like I'm constantly pendulumming.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansandneedles · 21/04/2024 20:44

SquashPenguin · 21/04/2024 09:03

I moved to South Wales. My family in Bristol were speechless at the how far my money went here compared to Bristol. Cardiff is half an hour away, and the Brecon Beacons on my doorstep. I couldn’t be happier 😊

Where in south Wales did you go out of interest? We moved to Carmarthenshire for about 10 years when I was a kid and my overarching memory was that we never felt like we belonged right from the off. We were 'the English family'. My sister has now lived there for 30 years and she's still called an incomer. It's put me off Wales so much. But I'd love to be persuaded otherwise because the countryside and beaches are dreamy, its not a totally alien landscape to me, I've been going back and forth down the M4 for years so I'd have an idea where to start. Whereas the north east is a total unknown. Have been looking at Leeds, Yorkshire, Newcastle etc and just don't know one neighborhood from the other. The idea of travelling back and forth sorting schools etc out feels exhausting!!!

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