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Original poster

It's just so depressing.

80 replies

Karenanderson2057 · 23/03/2024 21:05

Who else is depressed at not being able to afford to do anything since cost of living crisis? I find life really boring.

Also sick of some people on mumsnet who earn over £50k and are pleading poverty. Absolute c*s

Thats it thats the thread.

OP posts:
Shiningout · 19/04/2024 07:33

Frugalfruit · 24/03/2024 10:22

I was a teenager the 80s and we had completely different expectations. For years we didn't go out for a meal but even when we did it would be once a year or so. No takeaways ever. I've carried that on.

I do feel sorry for those who are struggling but our expectations have changed so much. I don't have haircuts and I've never had my nails done. My dd is having these things done and eating out constantly. I don't have my heating on, I just run a dehimidifier to stop damp and go to bed with hot water bottles and she taps me up for £50 a time to eat out.

My income is low, part time min wage. But my expectations are also low. I can see that most people would not want to do all the weird things I do to save money.

My own dc will never have houses. They consider luxuries to be neccessities. I get free vegetables and tins of soup given to me from time to time and dd won't touch any of that. I have saved hard for my dc since they were born. Tiny amounts, regularly. They consider these savings to be for frivolius spending money, when I consider them to be a house deposit.

I've been largely insulated from the cost of living crisis because I have low expectations. I consider luxuries to be for other people. I am content. My dc want life to be fun and exciting and to go nice places, wear nice clothes. I can go for a walk for free.

I hate the Tories with a passion but living under Thatcher taught me to have extremely low expectations, and that is how I have coped.

My friend grew up in poverty in Poland. She eats cabbage twice a day, every day. She is very frugal despite having a well paid job. She is appalled by the waste of money she sees around her.

Food has shot up but it is still relatively cheap. The meals we had in the 80s were horrible. The first time I ever enjoyed a meal I was 16 and my mum bought a jar of pasta sauce and we had spag bol that was (to me, then), delicious. We lived on microwave baked potatoes and horrible slop from the slow cooker. There was no removeable inner from the slow cooker back then either so it was inconvenient or dangerous to wash. There were no value ranges. Interest rates were 15%.

In the 70s my mum collected bits of wood for the fire. To her the crappy, dangerous slow cooker she got in the 80s would have been a luxury. My parents were extremely frugal, much more frugal than I am. They consider me a spendthrift.

Sad to say the sooner you get out of the mindset of thinking life will be enjoyable or confortable the more content you will be.

Having said all that I feel terrible for those who are dying due to mould. I have lung problems that have developed over the last few years, and I have mould on ny windows. I am so lucky to have my dehumidifier or the whole house would be covered. It is so frightening when you can't breathe and people have no choice but to live in these conditions and die gasping for breath.

Same with people with no food. Horrendous.

Our country is on the wane and we need to adapt and manage our expectations accordingly.

I couldn't live on a part time minimum wage job no matter how frugal I was, especially with children. I am assuming you get universal credit on that wage? Which kind of defeats the object of your post. Most people have to work full time, and even if they are not on min wage it can be a struggle to do the basics let alone have any luxuries.

TheaBrandt · 19/04/2024 07:37

Christ that cheered me up on sunny morning! Bet you are a blast at parties frugal!

anythinginapinch · 19/04/2024 07:43

So life's boring if you can't spend money?? Is that the takeaway from the OP?

Frugalfruit · 19/04/2024 09:21

I am not in receipt of universal credit. I recrive child benefit.

I am assuming you get universal credit on that wage? Which kind of defeats the object of your post. Most people have to work full time, and even if they are not on min wage it can be a struggle to do the basics let alone have any luxuries

jobsjkfo · 19/04/2024 09:29

@Frugalfruit how on earth do you not get UC on a part time minimum wage job? Have you got a partner living with you?

Frugalfruit · 19/04/2024 09:32

I've never applied. No, no partner.

spearmintdreams · 19/04/2024 09:37

It's hard.

I get down about it sometimes. My dh has applied for a new job and he's got it. Sometimes it really gets to me though.

Augustus40 · 19/04/2024 09:41

I think you have to have children to qualify for universal credit if single and working part time. So far as I know.

Though I saw something a couple of days ago suggesting the government is considering univ credit changes to include those who are sick but still work albeit part time.As older people get sick in the age 50 to 64 age group and many do not work at all.

GR8GAL · 19/04/2024 09:47

Meadowfinch · 30/03/2024 08:18

I'm getting better at doing things cheaply.

Rather than meet friends out for coffee, I can turn out a lemon drizzle cake in under an hour and host everyone with home made cake for about £3.

Always carry snacks & take an interesting packed lunch if going out with ds. We cycle now for free rather than go canoeing.

Buy plants at tabletop sales rather than garden centres. Home make foods which taste better than takeaways. Buy cheap supermarket pizza bases and add extra toppings.

Am setting up my garden for the summer with sun loungers and garden games for moochy teens.

It all takes a bit of planning but it isn't difficult and saves quite a lot. 🙂

This is the right attitude to have.

I earn less than 50k but still manage to enjoy life. Stopped drinking a few years ago so I tend to put money away every month towards a holiday instead.

What I don't have time for is people who cry poverty but have no problem spending hundreds on hair and nails! Unless that's your idea of fun 🙄

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 09:52

Frugalfruit · 24/03/2024 10:22

I was a teenager the 80s and we had completely different expectations. For years we didn't go out for a meal but even when we did it would be once a year or so. No takeaways ever. I've carried that on.

I do feel sorry for those who are struggling but our expectations have changed so much. I don't have haircuts and I've never had my nails done. My dd is having these things done and eating out constantly. I don't have my heating on, I just run a dehimidifier to stop damp and go to bed with hot water bottles and she taps me up for £50 a time to eat out.

My income is low, part time min wage. But my expectations are also low. I can see that most people would not want to do all the weird things I do to save money.

My own dc will never have houses. They consider luxuries to be neccessities. I get free vegetables and tins of soup given to me from time to time and dd won't touch any of that. I have saved hard for my dc since they were born. Tiny amounts, regularly. They consider these savings to be for frivolius spending money, when I consider them to be a house deposit.

I've been largely insulated from the cost of living crisis because I have low expectations. I consider luxuries to be for other people. I am content. My dc want life to be fun and exciting and to go nice places, wear nice clothes. I can go for a walk for free.

I hate the Tories with a passion but living under Thatcher taught me to have extremely low expectations, and that is how I have coped.

My friend grew up in poverty in Poland. She eats cabbage twice a day, every day. She is very frugal despite having a well paid job. She is appalled by the waste of money she sees around her.

Food has shot up but it is still relatively cheap. The meals we had in the 80s were horrible. The first time I ever enjoyed a meal I was 16 and my mum bought a jar of pasta sauce and we had spag bol that was (to me, then), delicious. We lived on microwave baked potatoes and horrible slop from the slow cooker. There was no removeable inner from the slow cooker back then either so it was inconvenient or dangerous to wash. There were no value ranges. Interest rates were 15%.

In the 70s my mum collected bits of wood for the fire. To her the crappy, dangerous slow cooker she got in the 80s would have been a luxury. My parents were extremely frugal, much more frugal than I am. They consider me a spendthrift.

Sad to say the sooner you get out of the mindset of thinking life will be enjoyable or confortable the more content you will be.

Having said all that I feel terrible for those who are dying due to mould. I have lung problems that have developed over the last few years, and I have mould on ny windows. I am so lucky to have my dehumidifier or the whole house would be covered. It is so frightening when you can't breathe and people have no choice but to live in these conditions and die gasping for breath.

Same with people with no food. Horrendous.

Our country is on the wane and we need to adapt and manage our expectations accordingly.

I was a teen in the 80’s. We had nice meals.

Your post is depressing. My dc have bought their own houses and don’t fritter on nails and hair.

Why should we accept a shit standard of living in the 21st century? With low expectations? If you have low expectations you’ll never escape poverty.

You are choosing to work part time for a low wage. That’s your choice. Not everyone wants that though.

And l lived under Thatcher and she was hateful. But l didn’t have low expectations because of her. I fought to earn well as a young woman in the 80’s and l did.

FrownedUpon · 19/04/2024 09:57

You need to grow up throwing around pathetic insults. Why so bitter? Those earning well are paying the benefits for low earners. Maybe focus on doing better with your own life.

Meadowfinch · 19/04/2024 10:01

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow Yes, it is a bit lowering that most of us aren't as affluent as we were 5 years ago, I do get that, but there's been a global pandemic since then that cost western economies billions. We have war in Eastern Europe and it's still impacting the price of food & gas.

Affluence is cyclical. We can't escape the impact of Covid or war but I refuse to let it get me down or take the shine off my ds' childhood. Ok, I may not be able to take him skiing or buy him the new gaming pc he wants, but I can ensure that he lives in (and my friends come to) a cheerful house with nice home made food.

The situation will improve. The economy will pick up, and Putin will eventually fall off his perch. I try to make the best of it until that happens - because being gloomy isn't much fun as an alternative.

jobsjkfo · 19/04/2024 10:01

I've never applied. No, no partner.

Lol so you supposedly have a very low income, don't claim for what you're likely entitled to, on the basis your expectations are low...seems likely...either a massive drip feed owed or you're not being entirely truthful somewhere.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 10:09

Meadowfinch · 19/04/2024 10:01

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow Yes, it is a bit lowering that most of us aren't as affluent as we were 5 years ago, I do get that, but there's been a global pandemic since then that cost western economies billions. We have war in Eastern Europe and it's still impacting the price of food & gas.

Affluence is cyclical. We can't escape the impact of Covid or war but I refuse to let it get me down or take the shine off my ds' childhood. Ok, I may not be able to take him skiing or buy him the new gaming pc he wants, but I can ensure that he lives in (and my friends come to) a cheerful house with nice home made food.

The situation will improve. The economy will pick up, and Putin will eventually fall off his perch. I try to make the best of it until that happens - because being gloomy isn't much fun as an alternative.

I agree that it’s pretty bad now.

But it’s the acceptance of low expectations in that post that does my head in. ‘We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars’

Yes, it’s definitely cyclical. I remember the 70’s vaguely. But it seems the poster has chosen to live like that rather than been forced into it.

stayathomer · 19/04/2024 10:10

theres’s always feee stuff op, walks and the library (and there’s always some free books on Amazon or if you can afford it, a newspaper or magazine is a great treat!). We’re having a movie night in tonight with some value popcorn and crisps from Aldi! I know it’s hard to stay positive though, hope you feel better soon.

edited to add give someone you know in real life a call and try and have a laugh today x

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 10:13

There were no value ranges

There was Kwiksave

Interest rates were 15%

Yeah they were, but what’s that got to do with now? They were only 15% for about a week.

feelingalittlehorse · 19/04/2024 10:15

I think your shade is being thrown at the wrong cohort. People on £50K are by no means “rich” these days. They have slid into a high tax bracket relative to the actual increase in income, they now aren’t eligible for any government help but are still at the lower end of the scale.
They are probably worse off financially every month than someone who earns say £45K.

I don’t know what the solution is, but I know it isn’t to race to the bottom. Everyone has their own struggles.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 10:15

Frugalfruit · 19/04/2024 09:32

I've never applied. No, no partner.

Your miserable lifestyle is your choice then.

And we had fish and chips as takeaway every week in the 80’s. And dm was a widow on a really low wage. But we had heating and clothes and fun.

stayathomer · 19/04/2024 10:16

Ps how old are you op? Do you work/can you work?

Shiningout · 19/04/2024 11:32

Frugalfruit · 19/04/2024 09:21

I am not in receipt of universal credit. I recrive child benefit.

I am assuming you get universal credit on that wage? Which kind of defeats the object of your post. Most people have to work full time, and even if they are not on min wage it can be a struggle to do the basics let alone have any luxuries

I am Genuinely interested in how you live on a part time minimum wage job with no benefits then. You must either have money from somewhere or have a partner who pays for things.

walnutcoffeecake · 19/04/2024 12:58

Dont believe everything you hear on MN most of it is over exaggerating.
Im nowhere near MN standards.
I have a HA flat on a housing estate a few hundred in savings and an income of £1700 a month.
But i feel like the richest person in the world why because im happy with what i have.

SabreIsMyFave · 19/04/2024 13:18

THisbackwithavengeance · 24/03/2024 09:11

I find it equally irritating with people acting like the COL crisis is a new thing and no one before has ever encountered it. Because interest rates have been so low for years, people have got into a lull of low mortgages etc and having plenty of extra cash and are now whining because suddenly life is harder.

Those of us over 50 will have been there, seen that and got the T shirt.

I said on another thread that as a professional working in London in the late 90s I was on the bones of my arse. I would be paid and my bank balance would revert to zero on the 1st of each month and then I would gradually go into my overdraft to live. I didn't have a car and lived in a shitty, stinking flat. I had to get another job in the evenings to survive. And my experience was not uncommon. In fact it was normal. I was considered lucky amongst my peers because I owned a flat with a mortgage; most of my peers were flatsharing or had digs.

Food now is as cheap as it's ever been - relatively and the internet has meant that it's a buyers market as there's so much competition.

People older than me will remember the crash in the mid 80s (off top of my head). My mum did 3 jobs at one point.

It's all cyclical.

Exactly this ... Me and DH were on the bones of our arse for about 12-13 YEARS whilst raising 2 kids, and trying to fund constantly-rising mortgage rates, and high food prices, and all our bills etc, and suffering recessions. The mortgage rates were way higher than they are now at one time. And like you, we spent a number of years with all our income going into the bank on the 1st of the month, and everything coming out within 1 to 5 days - all insurances, bills, mortgage repayments etc. We were left with about £35 afterwards, then lived on the overdraft for the rest of the month.

Year after year, the overdraft increased, and so did the fees. The bank lent us money against the house, so we could do essential repairs to the house, and we had loan after loan, and they also shoved credit cards at us, 'helping' us to survive. We ended up being in shit loads of debt, and eventually no money to paint and decorate the house, let alone fucking fork out for repairs and maintenance. Because eventually the bank kept saying NO to any help for us. We hit a brick wall.

The kids did OK and had most of what they wanted (though they didn't ask for much) as we bought stuff on the credit card. We had nothing for ourselves. We eventually sold up and paid ALL our debts out of the equity, as we could no longer maintain the payments for everything, and we got a much smaller, cheaper place in a different town.

Like you, I am sick of people whingeing now. We have all been through it (us people over 50,) high mortgage rates, shit pay, shit jobs, loads of debt, and nothing left at the end of the first week after all our income went into the bank - let alone the end of the month! Never had a fucking PENNY in savings. As you said, people have had the luxury of super low interest rates on their mortgage, and many people maxed themselves out on it to buy a fancier/bigger house. Did they really imagine for a fleeting second that the interest rates wouldn't go up?!

LightSwerve · 19/04/2024 19:19

SabreIsMyFave · 19/04/2024 13:18

Exactly this ... Me and DH were on the bones of our arse for about 12-13 YEARS whilst raising 2 kids, and trying to fund constantly-rising mortgage rates, and high food prices, and all our bills etc, and suffering recessions. The mortgage rates were way higher than they are now at one time. And like you, we spent a number of years with all our income going into the bank on the 1st of the month, and everything coming out within 1 to 5 days - all insurances, bills, mortgage repayments etc. We were left with about £35 afterwards, then lived on the overdraft for the rest of the month.

Year after year, the overdraft increased, and so did the fees. The bank lent us money against the house, so we could do essential repairs to the house, and we had loan after loan, and they also shoved credit cards at us, 'helping' us to survive. We ended up being in shit loads of debt, and eventually no money to paint and decorate the house, let alone fucking fork out for repairs and maintenance. Because eventually the bank kept saying NO to any help for us. We hit a brick wall.

The kids did OK and had most of what they wanted (though they didn't ask for much) as we bought stuff on the credit card. We had nothing for ourselves. We eventually sold up and paid ALL our debts out of the equity, as we could no longer maintain the payments for everything, and we got a much smaller, cheaper place in a different town.

Like you, I am sick of people whingeing now. We have all been through it (us people over 50,) high mortgage rates, shit pay, shit jobs, loads of debt, and nothing left at the end of the first week after all our income went into the bank - let alone the end of the month! Never had a fucking PENNY in savings. As you said, people have had the luxury of super low interest rates on their mortgage, and many people maxed themselves out on it to buy a fancier/bigger house. Did they really imagine for a fleeting second that the interest rates wouldn't go up?!

Show quote history

Gosh.

You had it tough, and other people have it tough now.

A little compassion wouldn't hurt for those struggling today, would it?

ssd · 19/04/2024 19:25

Im sick of reading about people my age complaining they had it hard too when they bought somewhere to live.
Young people these days need stupid cash deposits. Im 57 and got a 100% mortgage.

If people are moaning now they have every right.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 20:16

SabreIsMyFave · 19/04/2024 13:18

Exactly this ... Me and DH were on the bones of our arse for about 12-13 YEARS whilst raising 2 kids, and trying to fund constantly-rising mortgage rates, and high food prices, and all our bills etc, and suffering recessions. The mortgage rates were way higher than they are now at one time. And like you, we spent a number of years with all our income going into the bank on the 1st of the month, and everything coming out within 1 to 5 days - all insurances, bills, mortgage repayments etc. We were left with about £35 afterwards, then lived on the overdraft for the rest of the month.

Year after year, the overdraft increased, and so did the fees. The bank lent us money against the house, so we could do essential repairs to the house, and we had loan after loan, and they also shoved credit cards at us, 'helping' us to survive. We ended up being in shit loads of debt, and eventually no money to paint and decorate the house, let alone fucking fork out for repairs and maintenance. Because eventually the bank kept saying NO to any help for us. We hit a brick wall.

The kids did OK and had most of what they wanted (though they didn't ask for much) as we bought stuff on the credit card. We had nothing for ourselves. We eventually sold up and paid ALL our debts out of the equity, as we could no longer maintain the payments for everything, and we got a much smaller, cheaper place in a different town.

Like you, I am sick of people whingeing now. We have all been through it (us people over 50,) high mortgage rates, shit pay, shit jobs, loads of debt, and nothing left at the end of the first week after all our income went into the bank - let alone the end of the month! Never had a fucking PENNY in savings. As you said, people have had the luxury of super low interest rates on their mortgage, and many people maxed themselves out on it to buy a fancier/bigger house. Did they really imagine for a fleeting second that the interest rates wouldn't go up?!

Show quote history

I’m 3 years older than you. It’s much worse now than in the 80/90’s.

Much much worse.

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