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Frugal Friends Facing Forward with Fortitude

1000 replies

Happierwithouthim · 05/12/2023 14:12

Here's a friendly space for new and existing frugal friends.

We have all different types of incomes and lifestyles but with a common goal of making the best of the money we have.

Many of us have experiences of becoming debt free or being in difficulty with money for one reason or another so there's no need for embarrassment, just join in, post as little or as often as you wish.

Some record daily spends, some record only spends that are unplanned, some don't record spends at all, the choice is yours!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
52
TheHateIsNotGood · 20/01/2024 18:50

Just checking in - have new neighbours 'over the wall' and what a breath of fresh air they are. Anyways, with their very kind permission, I've been 'sourcing'/scavenging some dry wood as well as tidying up their garden.

Which has produced some fine fires and tonight another 2 meals FOC.

I admit it's a bit of a messy business, but so what, dirt is cleaned.

Also have today started a 3-way barter which gets my car welded for a bit of admin.

All is well here.

RumBananaSundae · 20/01/2024 20:34

Solicitor is good (I think) Big. She does make it seem more manageable but I’m wishing I could click my heels and it all be done. Absolutely dreading the face to face bits. I’ve not been to the Loire or Burgundy but France is lovely so wherever you go will be fabulous. I think you’ve convinced me about the RA. I hardly go out these days so maybe I’ll splash out.

Ohh martha extra in your pay packet is always nice.

That’s good news about the final round Gensola. Good luck. And hope your tooth fixes itself.

Spending has been bad. Another £1k on the solicitor yesterday. Today has been £4.50 on lunch and ~£80 on dinner. Spent the day with my walking friend. We gave up partway through our return leg as neither of us wanted to walk in the dark and got the bus back. Went for a curry. Very nice but the restaurant was freezing and I ate too much.

Gensola · 21/01/2024 07:57

@marthasmum we have events in the evenings more than other unis and lecturers are expected to attend so it’s pretty normal although luckily not every week!
The new job would be much more 9-5 but would also involve moving to the USA so 😂
We are having a freezer week using up batch cooked things:
Sunday -warm broccoli walnut sesame salad with miso prawns and rice noodles
Monday - Lamb and red lentil gosht with cauli rice and spinach
Tues - friend’s birthday meal out
Weds - venison meatball and cannelini bean stew with parsnip mash
Thurs - chicken and spinach curry with chapatis
Fri - salmon leek pea and dill pasta

I promised DH I’d make him a quiche to take in for lunches this week so need to do that too. Plus approx 1,8999 loads of laundry. Where does it all come from?!

Wolfcub · 21/01/2024 09:00

I'm sure laundry multiplies more in winter Gensola. Fingers crossed for the interview outcome.
Need to pack for yet another work trip today. Washing is on, dishwasher is on, washing up is done. Need to clean the kitchen and the bathroom (after ds gets back from sport if he goes).
Also need to empty the dead things from the fridge. I think there is an open Brie in there somewhere from Christmas which smells appalling

ememem84 · 21/01/2024 09:03

Morning. @Timetoswitch being poorly has saved my bank balance too. I haven’t spent anything.

stayed in bed most of yesterday morning. Then moved myself to the couch. I’m negative for covid now but seriously congested. Yuk.

am determined to go back to the office tomorrow though.

soent last night playing musical beds with dd. She wanted to come into our bed. So I went to hers. Then she wanted back in ours. I ended up on the couch. Sigh.

payday on Friday. A week later than previous. Employer was bought out by another firm last year and they get paid on 28 and not 21 like we used to. So have had to alter all direct debits/standing orders etc. sigh.

lifelongfrugaleer · 21/01/2024 09:31

I had 12 hours sleep in a bit to get over this germ fest. Sainsbury was £80 yesterday, Aldi £28, £17 company shop

good luck gen
if I don’t do a wash a day it’s horrific

solicitors bills are awful but will be worth it.
sounds good re your neighbours.

2024Hackathon · 21/01/2024 09:49

I'm still trying to support DH to have a conversation with me about budgeting. I always have to hold onto my patience but I'm increasingly resentful that, as ever, I'm the one who is restricting spending, and the person who needs to still can't have a conversation.

I have consecutive moments of desperation that are strung together enough to interfere with my sleep.

DH knows the impact on me. But, it seems to be an ongoing feature of his anxiety etc. that he can't empathise with others or think about anything but how he feels in the moment. (At home, of course. He manages to be a functioning adult at work.)

Chile1978 · 21/01/2024 11:37

@Gensola good luck! That's a big move if it happens.

@RumBananaSundae glad solicitor is OK and progressing things

@2024Hackathon I'm sorry, that is tough. I guess it's worth weighing up if this is tolerable and if accessing therapy might be helpful for both/either of you. As they say, his mental health isn't his fault, but it is his responsibility. Hope things get better.

Spends
£22 softplay

Back home for lunch and snacks. Hoping the weather clears up.
Have had no luck selling coats on vinted oddly - all good condition and decent brands like John lewis/m&s. Will leave them up until end of Feb and then donate.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong on there. Maybe I need to take different style pictures? 🤔

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 21/01/2024 11:46

God this month is looooong 🫠

I've had to move £70 from savings to main account to get to the end of the month. Was hoping to avoid doing a food shop but we're really low on a lot of staples so will have to go to Aldi later.

Get paid next Friday, thank God.

Spent £14 this morning on the cats meds and a couple of quid on dog treats. Ystd spent a tenner in a cafe on coffee and cake for myself and a friend (it was her bday so I treated her.)

Does anyone else get a serious case of the munchies when they have their period? I've just eaten two bags of crisps and a kitkat chunky 🙈

2024Hackathon · 21/01/2024 13:20

Chile - if accessing therapy might be helpful for both/either of you. As they say, his mental health isn't his fault, but it is his responsibility. Hope things get better.
DH has been receiving psychological therapy/support more or less weekly since late 2018 (some breaks when he was transferring between therapists). It's truly taken this long to have even the exchange we had 2 weeks ago.

You're right that I should consider some for myself. I feel that I've expended so many of my personal and emotional resources on supporting him that I have little resilience left for my own benefit.

Nellieinthebarn · 21/01/2024 15:30

NSD, and was exhausted yesterday so did bugger all apart from feed ourselves. We had fish from the freezer with chips grilled tomatoes and peas.

Today I would have loved to go to the pub for a roast dinner, and nearly suggested it, but frugally found some braising steak in the freezer and did pulled beef with roasties and veg. I made a kind of eton mess layered thing with the last of the elmlea from christmas, some frozen raspberries and a couple of meringue nests crunched up for pudding. Although I say it myself it was really nice and felt like a proper sunday dinner for quite a minimal effort.

Also made a dozen raisin and satsuma muffins as hole fillers for the week. I think I will freeze half of them as they might go stale before we eat them up.

BigSkies2022 · 21/01/2024 16:09

Nellie that is one big impressive effort for someone who CBA cooking today! I am doing poulet antiboise today - Elizabeth David by way of Rowley Leigh. There's a lot of onion chopping involved, but that aside, it's all shoved in a casserole dish and left alone. Bread and green salad to accompany (dressing already made). I will do some baked apples for pudding, but only because I bought the apples, the oven will be on, and if I don't do them today they will likely just decline on the kitchen counter and make me feel guilty. Last of the Christmas dates and almonds for the stuffing.

Hackathon that sounds awful, and so frustrating. Have you tried suggesting you take over the whole household budget/income and he retains control only of his personal spends while his capacity to cope improves? Is that remotely practicable? Sorry, I imagine you've been around every option.

Blue skies and crisp cold weather replaced by grey skies, wind and squally rain. Pottering around doing chores before a bit of a read and dinner prep. Wish True Detective were on tonight, and considering firing up the first series again! Perfect winter night fare!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 21/01/2024 17:08

Took a list to Aldi and was very good, spent £56 which was on budget.

Now have £3.70 until Friday!!

Meal plan.

Tonight leftover curry and rice (made enough for two nights ystd)

Monday - roast dinner
Tuesday chicken stir fry for me veggie something for dd
Wednesday jacket spuds, beans and cheese
Thursday pesto pasta, salad and garlic bread
Friday veggie chilli con carni

2024Hackathon · 21/01/2024 17:27

This is interesting.

Gordon Brown has urged Jeremy Hunt to act on startling new research into Britain’s threadbare benefits system that showed that the poorest families must spend an average of 63p in each pound to meet basic food and energy needs.
The former prime minister said the paper was a “wake-up call” to the chancellor that “reveals the arithmetic of poverty”, and forces the UK to “face up to the fact that it is in the throes of a crisis”.

The study highlights how a couple on benefits with two children must spend nearly 50% more of their income on food and energy than they did in 2012, when the figure was 46p. This is due to the precipitous fall in real-terms value of benefits. The equivalent spend by the average UK family is roughly 20p in each pound earned, the report says.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2024/jan/21/gordon-brown-urges-overhaul-benefits-system-study-crisis

Even with my recent pantry windfall, we're spending a fair bit more than 20p in each pound earned. How is it working out for others?

Gordon Brown calls for overhaul of benefits system as study reveals ‘crisis’

Exclusive: Jeremy Hunt urged to act over report showing poorest families spend 63p in each £1 on food and energy bills

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2024/jan/21/gordon-brown-urges-overhaul-benefits-system-study-crisis

Gensola · 21/01/2024 19:57

@2024Hackathon how do you work out how much of each pound you spend? Sorry if I am being thick 😵‍💫 it seems a weird way of putting it - 63p a pound does that just mean 63% of their income?

Wolfcub · 21/01/2024 20:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Wolfcub · 21/01/2024 20:06

Ignore that I misunderstood the premise and have asked that my post be deleted

2024Hackathon · 21/01/2024 21:28

Gensola · 21/01/2024 19:57

@2024Hackathon how do you work out how much of each pound you spend? Sorry if I am being thick 😵‍💫 it seems a weird way of putting it - 63p a pound does that just mean 63% of their income?

I agree it's a very odd and unclear way of expressing it. I'd think it's that the author estimates that people in a family that size and who are on benefits would need to spend 63p in every £ they receive to meet basic food and household energy bills. However, because they can't possibly afford that, it's assumed that they have to skimp on those despite any possible impact on their health.

The organisation hasn't published the report yet so I can't work out what the writers have done to make their calculations. The journalist hasn't made it that clear. And later on, they refer to the "poorest families", but it's not clear if they are people without anyone in employment or without anyone who is eligible for disability benefits, so they are subject to the benefits cap? (iirc, people who are in work, and in receipt of benefits, shouldn't be subject to the benefits cap.)

I wish they'd given some examples to make it clearer.

I know that if you were to remove our mortgage payment, council tax*, insurance, commuting etc. costs from our post-tax income and then estimate our energy costs, they'd be a very different % than our our net post-tax income. E.g., let's say, energy bills for our home are 10% of our net monthly combined income and the food was similar at around 10% so we'd be paying 20% of our net income.

However, the energy bills would be around 22% of what's left after paying housing etc. and the same for food, so we'd be paying about 44%.

*I think CT reductions vary, but I'm ignoring that to simplify the calculation.

RumBananaSundae · 21/01/2024 22:17

That would be a big move Gensola. I hope it works out the way you would like.

I’m sorry 2024Hack. It sounds utterly draining. And sleep disturbance is dreadful.

Today I’ve spent £5.94 on random groceries. I got some sweet potatoes so will make sweet potato soup tomorrow. I spent £37 in Marks and Spencer on underwear. I needed a sports bra. I’ve been looking for weeks and took the plunge this morning. I hope it does the job. I had a Snapfish coupon so I ordered some prints for £4.29.

Tried to do some tidying. Not sure it worked. Currently rather windy and wet here.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/01/2024 08:14

2024 the Tories won't care about that research, they know they've pushed the poorest people further into poverty resulting in people dying or becoming homeless. They just don't care 🤷‍♀️

I'm praying for a government change this year, hopefully people are realising what a complete shitshow the Tories are.

lifelongfrugaleer · 22/01/2024 09:22

£235 spent by 0900 sigh

car tyres

Chile1978 · 22/01/2024 11:39

@Nellieinthebarn that's a very good effort! My cba go to are cheese toasties😂

@2024Hackathon I think going for you sounds like it is needed. There are now great online opportunities for therapy too if it's easier to access from home

@Girliefriendlikespuppies good going! Not long left

@lifelongfrugaleer sigh indeed. We pay £150 per tyre - problem is there's rarely a chance to shop around as it always happens unexpectedly and you need it replacing ASAP or it's part of the MOT/service so easier to get it done in the same garage.

It is indeed shocking the levels of poverty and the lack of support. Benefits should at least be locked in similar to pensions (although maybe the triple cap needs to be reviewed) and especially for disability. There are huge demographic changes that keep being kicked down the road that need to be faced up to.

Thinking about retirement (in general) having read a post on it. I'd like to make it happen in 20yrs so a few years yearly (or at least according to current state pension age) but it seems to never quite happen. Meant to be putting an extra £1k savings into my SIPP this year but it looks like I'll need it for the roof. However I'm fortunate i should be able to retire and not have to continue working until I drop.

Spends
£45 replacement diy tool

MrsShortbread · 22/01/2024 14:53

School shut due to no power or heating, at 9:30am…stopped in local shop after picking up daughter to buy a loaf of bread, made chicken chowder, ended up toddler-sitting unexpectedly so neighbour could assess her storm damaged fields, had to put a fire on at 11am as was such a cold wind (normally don’t put on till at least 3pm), but only using logs no coal. Already about ready for day to be done to be honest and still have a long work meeting to do after kids go to bed.

RumBananaSundae · 22/01/2024 17:48

Hope everyone survived Isha (relatively?) unscathed. I hear Jocelyn is on the way and is worse.

Have given up on being frugal this month. Entered the world of smartphones today and bought my first. Figured it would be easier to have a phone while trekking rather than carrying a phone, camera and tablet. Semi consoling myself with some of the cost being offset by not getting a surveyor. Think it’s partly making hay while the sun shines too but we’ll not think about that.

needastrongoneagain · 23/01/2024 13:56

Afternoon all. The weather is terrible is it? One of our dogs has decided he's completely stressed out by the wind and is really struggling bless him.

We get paid on Thursday and so far, I'm within budget for everything but holiday expenses, which are over, but I can recoup over the months by allocating more.

Meal plan from Saturday.
Roast turkey dinner.
Turkey chilli and rice.
Turkey fried rice and vegetables
Baked cod with creamy mushroom and leek orzo.
Aubergine and mushroom red bean curry.
Veggie shepherds pie.
Miso brothy beans
Aubergine rogan Josh

Today spends
£65 dog groomers (dog pot budget)
£20 bulk buy of batteries (general spends pot).

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