Christmas

[NormaLouiseBates]

I wasn't sure whether to put this here or in the Christmas topic but is anyone else just not feeling Christmas this year due to lack of money? 🥺

The sensible side of me knows it's not about how much you spend and you don't need the fridge and cupboards bursting at the seams with food but fuck me though, it's a bit depressing realising just how different things will be this year. My kids are adults so of course they don't need loads of presents but it made me so happy to give them all I could. It's my first grandchild's first Christmas so I want to spoil him (which is also ridiculous because he doesn't know 😂) but I just can't do it.

Can someone slap some sense into me and remind me it's not about how much bloody money you spend? 😳

I can appreciate your viewpoint, and it’s tough not being able to indulge.

can you get creative for your grandchild? Think a giant box with a helium balloon in & some loose ones? Fun, cheap things that will probably be a total hit. The boxes are always the biggest hit!

I won’t be patronising and suggest temp/evening roles to supplement your income as I’m sure that you have already explored all these options, but you won’t be on your own feeling the pinch this year.

i hope you have a wonderful Christmas period, with those you love and it isn’t as bleak as it seems.

Thank you, I really appreciate that reply. Your last line brought a bit of a lump to my throat 🥺

He's only 4 months old so he genuinely will have no clue about any of it 😂

We arent rich, but are very grateful that we aren't in poverty either. Our family is growing and so we all agreed last year that we would do a Secret Santa for the adults and all pay a set amount which is added up and spent on the children (grandchildren). None of us are into designer items or the latest fads and we all write a wish list so we get something which we really want. Probably too late for you for this year but perhaps consider it for next year. As for your grandchild, Christmas will be special for you this year, having a little one around really brings back the magic of Christmas. Perhaps your could buy him a special bauble to put on the tree each year and take a photo of him lying under it and next year one of him standing under it. It will be lovely to look back on as he grows up. Wishing you and your family a really lovely Christmas.

I think actually you are in a much better position (with a months old non-understanding grandkid, and adult children entirely capable of understanding) - compared to those with your budget but catering to age groups in between - the 4 to 15 ish year olds, who understand consumerist wants and don’t quite understand cost of living entirely.

Not that it makes it easier. If you ask for specific tips/advice I am sure folks can help with ideas about shops, preloved markets and creative ideas. But perhaps you’re just venting.

If you've been used to splashing the cash each xmas and now suddenly can't do that any longer - its going to feel very different. Change takes some getting used to and its really understandable.

Do you want non monetary ideas to make it feel christmasy in a different way?

Actually OP, we have tons of money but our mothers are 87, mine has just been diagnosed with severe heart disease, DH's has Parkinsons and early dementia. I've just been diagnosed with Paget's Disease and DH's BP is through the roof and he's had indigestion and palpitations. Under review.

This year for the first time, DS and DIL and going to her parents. DH is going to his mama's she can't travel and it could be her last. (First time DH and I (and his mama) won't have been together at Xmas for 35 years) DD and I have been invited to her BF's parents for Xmas day. DS, DIL, DD and I are going to my mother's on boxing day (could be the last). Then heading to MILs 300 miles away. Too much for her to have us there for two nights so hotel booked.

Frankly I'd rather be skint and laying on an Asda Smart Price Christmas with presents for a fiver and spend it together. You know with love and joy and the knowledge everyone will probably still be here next Christmas.

Our little girl will be just 5 months on Christmas I’ve got her little bits off vinted quite cheaply (all new with or without tags) just so I can fill her stocking up as there’s nothing else she needs or wants!! It’s more just to feel the stocking to be Christmassy for me really she won’t have a clue!!

I've just remembered and I've said it many times on here before. Decades ago when it was DS's first Christmas and his birthday, when DH still had to wait for fees to come in. I had given up work because ds was sick as a baby, and we had bought an expensive house. That Christmas ds got a Mr Man book for his birthday(£3.99) and an Alphabet book for Christmas (£2.99). Dh got a Mars bar and I got a bath bomb. We still wrap up a Mars bar and bath bomb for under the tree - DS is 29!

After our bills were paid for January we had £27.96 for the month. I made potatoes, onion and cheese pie for 2nd, 3rd Jan and pasta with a tin of toms on 4th. Then a fee came in.

You make an excellent point so thank you. I was just venting really (and maybe having a very small pity party for one).

I would LOVE some non money related ideas thank you 😊

Hey I get it. We lost my dad 4 years ago just after Christmas and my darling mum has been in a nursing home for the last 2 years following a massive stroke. She doesn't even know who I am anymore. Life really sucks sometimes.

I irritate myself every year saying this but Christmas to me is always family, a board game, Christmas tv and a box of celebrations. We decided no presents for brothers sister etc this year and yes, I miss it already but it is what it is

We are having to think much more carefully about what we spend this year as well. It does take some of the fun out of it.

I have bought quite a few of my kids gifts off vinted to save money. You'd get some gorgeous pretty much new baby clothes on there too.

I have found lots of free Christmas days out - local Xmas tree festivals and markets etc, fre national trust tickets. We are also just enjoying relaxing at home and trying not to feel the pressure to do too much and spend constantly.

I have also picked up a few bits and pieces of party food off the reduced counters when I've seen them.

My kids are now at the age where everything they want is a lot more expensive and they will have to get used to having smaller piles on Xmas day I think. I'm hoping this will be an opportunity for us to be a bit more sensible about Xmas. We never went hugely over the top, but they have probably been used to having more than they needed in the past.

An idea for you to squeeze out a few extra pennies. My husband and I have shopped for the entire month with £200 spent (also have a few things in the freezer etc) so that we save money overall, I find when I keep going to the supermarket I overspend as I see non essential items and get carried away. Hopefully this way we will save a lot of money. Fresh fruit and milk, along with bread being an exception

Firstly, it's horrible feeling skint so I'm sorry you're in this position. But it really isn't about how much money you spend. Your home can feel festive with stuff you already own - I'm sure you already have some decorations? It's lovely getting those out.

In terms of cheap ideas... For my DDs first Christmas my friend wrapped a box that was just the right height for pulling yourself up on (if you're a baby) and filled it with some homemade sensory stuff. Some tin foil scrunched up in a ball. Some cornflour and food dye for me to make sensory slime with her. Some ribbons tied together. A bath sponge flower thing. And a plastic bottle that was filled with dyed rice for a shaker. There was also a Christmas "that's not my" book (you can get these cheaply in home bargains etc. That Christmas box was still in use come June!!!