Surprise baby!

[BeeMumof3]

Hi guys!

So we have a surprise baby! A very unplanned but loved and wanted baby!

But the the financial fears have set in. We were very determined that we were complete with our family so I didn’t save anything after our 3rd so is 19 months old.

I do the whole co-sleep, cloth nappy, unfortunately I am unable to breastfeed due to a medical condition. Clothing I’m not too worried about sleepsuits and vests until 12 months old.

But we are going to need a new car, we will need to move house as we are only in a 2 bedroom house and also looking into the future an extra person to feed while we are already struggling with the cost of living.

Basically I’m asking! Will we be ok? Any tips? At the moment we are comfortable, struggling but surviving.

No one can answer whether you will be ok financially op because we know only the bare bones of your financial situation aside from the fact that you will have two bedrooms with 6 people… so at some point you will have to move

Oh yes I know no one will be able to speak about our financial situation but I meant more any tips, I’m already looking at ways to sort out food shopping out to try bring it down a bit

I earnt over 700 gbp in bank switches this year

Natwest
First direct
Lloyds bank
Nationwide

It all helps
And via u switch service = very secure
Highly recommend

Also rate vinted for selling// buying stuff

Also top cashback

@worldwidetravel2017 We tried doing bank switches but I’m not sure why we don’t get accepted for new banks. I actually tried doing it last night as a friend said HSBC you could get £125 but it wouldn’t let me, and my partners bank is a business account so he can’t switch.

We use TopCashBack & WeShop already, as well as Vinted, been using Vinted for years.

Did you try via the uswitch site ?
Its usually very simple

I recommend nationwide via their site - 200 gbp and nationwide have the most open branches

@worldwidetravel2017 Yeah did it via the uswitch website. I think it may be because I have no direct debts, and only £800 a month income going into my actual account, I’m not sure if they can see that before I switch.

We don’t live near a town, closest town is 30 miles away, so not too bothered about branches, as we survive without banks already, lol.

Ah yeah 4 some of them you need a couple active dd

Do you drive op?

1 car or 2?

all children at the same school that attend?

Look to find ways of earning more money.

Basically the amount you can save is normally much more limited compared to the amount more you can potentially earn.

*save as much as you can now
*buy a baby item in every shop from now, nappy cream/ nappies, formula is a big expense
*if you have a freezer, try and save a couple of portions for those extra tired pregnancy days
*ask for vouchers for birthdays / Christmases (perhaps for food stores)
*buy clothes one size up for kids now, this way you don’t have that extra spend in a years time when things are a Little more stretched

@Flipdiddle I drive yes, we have one car and one van, we’ll need to get a 7 seater now so obviously will be selling our current car.

Erm no they don’t all attend the same school?

@GasPanic I don’t really have any other ways of earning more money, I mean I could maybe go self employed but I don’t have a clue what I would do, or what time I would have available to earn a good enough wage. I’m a full time career for my eldest child.

Agreed with this. DB and SIL have had recently had their second baby and their flat is stockpiled with all this, even down to extra food which lasts (tins).

Luckily they have a same sex older child (5) so they kept clothes, toys etc.

I think generally people just learn to cut their cloth.

Assume you're getting carers for your son? I know some people like to save up the DLA but make sure you're using it as needed, even if that's helping with fairly basic costs for him.

Presumably you were looking at moving anyway with three kids in a 2 bed, the step up to a 3 isn't as awful as stepping up to a 4 if you rent.

You won't get any extra tax credits equivalent for new baby, just the CB.

Have you transferred your tax free allowance to your husband?

You already know all the baby bits you don't need, and to go for 2nd hand where possible

I’m not too worried about baby equipment. Cot isn’t needed… we co-sleep.
Nappies aren’t needed… I use cloth.
Clothes… sleepsuits & vests until 1.
Pram isn’t needed… I use a sling.
I still have the odd bits from my youngest like bouncer, toys, highchair.
Obviously will need to start stockpiling donor breastmilk, so going to start looking for a donor or two.
Our freezer is full already as we shop monthly, everything is cooked fresh and I will batch cook once a month.

Vouchers aren’t something we’d be able to use/get given as I don’t have any family, and my partner family don’t live in the UK.

I think I’ve stopped panicking so much. We only found out Saturday I was pregnant and then the shock of finding out I was 14 weeks pregnant as well.

@SleepingStandingUp Yes I already get careers, and my son gets DLA that every penny is used as we unfortunately have to go private for a lot of extra therapy that we can’t get on the NHS.

Our house has been on and off the market for the past 15 months. We’ve just put it back on at a lower price, so until we’ve sold our house we can’t do anything, and couldn’t afford to rent while having a mortgage either.

How old is your eldest?

@Flipdiddle He’s 10

I think the absolute priority needs to be moving. You can’t have 4 children in one bedroom ranging from 12 years to 1 years, the eldest of whom has a serious disability

@Flipdiddle Oh no, we don’t have 4 in one bedroom. My eldest has his own bedroom then my 5 year old and 19 month old share a bedroom, and then we have a bedroom downstairs (it was our dinning room, but we turned it into a bedroom)

We own our property, the house has been on the market 15 months, we did take it down, but put it back up 2 months ago £100k less then we originally wanted but it’s the only way we’ll get it sold I reckon. Until we’ve sold the house these nothing we can do. We’re struck.

Without being obtuse, this is not the expensive bit, that comes as they head towards late primary and into teens (yes I have 3). Clothes are more, devices cost a lot, you will need a car that holds all 3 of them for a few years, they don't always want to share rooms. Uni is expensive. Food is more. Holidays abroad will be adult prices from 12. Of course you can be hardline, say no to things, etc but their expectations will change. So you need to plan in the long term. I was back fulltime in work by the time my youngest was 4.

You say you won't need a pushchair but your (current) youngest will be only just 2 years old when this one is born so surely you won't be able to carry both via sling? My first could walk a long distance at that age if she felt like it, but tantrums about walking on the way home from the shop or wanting to be under a raincover if the weather was bad meant we still had a pushchair at that age.

@Godwindar Oh our holidays abroad are visits to my partners family in Portugal, no need for any fancy hotel. A drive to Portugal and stay for a few weeks every summer. Even with 3 children this will continue to be our holiday.

Unfortunately I won’t be able to work until my eldest is at least 16 or 18, or possibly older, unless we look at going down the route of employing a career once he’s older, although we know there will come a point he’ll move into assisted living. Thankfully my partners auntie helps us at the moment to give me a break, and she will be there to help with throughout the pregnancy. We’re still in shock at how far along I am tbh

@fitforflight Yes tandem carrying is amazing! I’ve recently only stopping tandem carrying my two children now who are 5 and 19 months old. We own a cheap umbrella pushchair but it’s rarely used, if I needed to use it I would, I have no reason to get rid of it. But tandem carrying is a suitable way to carry. Xx

You don't need a new car, you just need a multimac

I take it back, I had no idea this was a thing. Good luck to you then!