Expanding family and costs

[Lm1981]

Just curious how much people factor in costs of either starting a family or expanding to their financial situation? Do you just go with the flow regardless or is it carefully calculated?

Finances are the reason we waited until now (mid 30s and 11years into our relationship) to have a child. They also play a part in why we only plan to have one, although there are other motivations.

We also waited until 30s to have kids and then had a long gap to afford our second child. I absolutely wouldn’t have tried to conceive if we couldn’t afford it - so many people on our overcrowded planet, to deliberately bring a child into poverty seems wild choice.

We planned for the big costs - childcare and drop in income due to Mat leave. What that would do to our family income and especially that last 3 months of mat leave where there is no pay (i had to go back at 10 months to pay our mortgage).

I looked into local childcare costs and any benefits available.

The actual cost of a baby isn’t horrific - I afforded it by stopping other unnecessary expense (professional haircuts, gym membership, social life!)

We didn't really consider finances a barrier. We both had decent jobs and a house. We lived in Scandinavia though.

Of course we calculated it. I calculated the costs for my dog why wouldn't I for my child?!

I didn’t factor in that it would cost me £30k in ivf to get pregnant. I’ll be taking a much shorter maternity leave than I would like. I definitely won’t be having a second.

I calculated for the first 3 years (mainly childcare & mat leave), and saved enough to cover the shortfall during this time. Now my eldest is in school and youngest gets 30h, their running costs aren't actually that much.

Yes of course. I wouldn’t have had a child we couldn’t afford, and it’s a huge consideration to stopping at 1.

We could afford several at basic level, but I want to be able to give us and child a nice life without struggling. Things like life and sickness insurance are covered incase dh or I get ill, our income wouldn’t drop a huge amount.

My friend produced a spreadsheet to persuade her husband they could afford a second child ( just).
I was 40 when I had my second and had to go for it before the chance passed.

Had a bigger gap to avoid double nursery fees

Finances were not a barrier because you had good jobs and a house.

we had always planned on one child due to our financial circumstances- both low paid jobs. While I was pregnant with my first my husband was made redundant and very luckily found a job paying double. Covid then hit meaning we could save through my first maternity and I found a new job which also paid more. We then went on to have a second child as we felt we now afford it. It definitely helped that the 30 hours funded kicked in for my first as I started my second maternity leave.

Possibly femfemlicious but I think it's more to do with the nearly free childcare, well funded well run schools universally available, no uni costs to worry about and the easily accessible good quality housing for young adults. It removes most the worry about cost. Plus really good labour market regulations help too because unemployment would not be a big deal for a family should it happen to a parent.

First was unplanned, second wasn't thought about too much as I wanted a particular age gap so we were of the view we would make it would (we weren't destitute or anything but not rolling in it either!) and we absolutely stopped ourselves at 2 knowing we couldn't have the lifestyle we wanted for us and our children with 3, even as our household income has dramatically increased, I've always seen the additional benefit of those financial freedoms for our 2DC rather than then wanting to split it further with another mouth to feed.

*make it work

Yes. Got married 10 years ago and before TTC I had spreadsheets created working out childcare costs, costs to move out of our flat, pension etc. Thankfully we are both reasonably high earners so it was never in doubt but it's good to know how things like childcare costs impact everything else. We had 2 in FT childcare for a year at one point which was a squeeze.

First was unplanned so no thinking about money there...but we were both in secure jobs and had just bought a home so I think even if we had got round to planning it out thinking would have been more about the right time in our careers than money per se.

Second didn't really think about it, more about the gap we wanted than money.

We did think about finances before having a third. There was a spreadsheet, and modelling for various events like one of us giving up work or increased mortgage.

I think given our jobs and financial position we had an unconscious assumption we could afford two as an average family, but when we thought about 3 that felt more out of the ordinary and we wanted to plan a bit before we did it.