Pooling funds

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I'm writing this following reading a few threads where posters do not pool funds/income with significant others and have been slated for it

We are recently married and transfer a set amount into a joint account each month. This covers mortgage, food, shared bills and anything ad-hoc we decide to do including paying off holidays.

We then keep the remaining of our salaries to do what we want. Do most people not do it like this?

Maybe i am biased because i am the bigger earner and more sensible with money... learnt from past mistakes where as OH is quite laid back about when he pays phone bill etc

Just intrigued really...

We’ve always pooled our money for joint expenses but has the same amount of money for personal spending.

We do the same as you OP and have done for the past 17 years. We earn similar and transfer a set amount each into our joint accounts to cover all our bills, food, household savings/a sink fund for unexpected expenses, the kids savings and a holiday savings pot. We each also maintain separate current and savings accounts for personal spends and savings. If something massive comes up (like when his mum passed unexpectedly and we had to pay for the funeral as she didn’t have much) we pooled our savings to give her decent send off. A few years ago, he helped me realise a dream involving property, again by pooling our savings.

We did the pool everything into one account when I was on maternity leave with my eldest and on a reduced income. I hated it, partly because it then became my job to manage the family’s expenses. I didn’t need or want the stress so that experiment ended pretty sharpish!

Each to their own but I enjoy the freedom of having my own account and control over what I do with it once all the household bills and essentials are covered.

Every couple/household has their own nuances, but I never want to have to ask DH's permission to spend money.

We put the same percentage of our earnings into a joint account - we need to change what this is from time to time,it's about 60%. This covers joint expenses eg: nursery fees when the dc were little , Mortgage and household bills; school dinners; music lessons; food, new appliances, db's birthday presents and we save what we can for holidays.

We keep the rest each, to
save/spend. We both save and have workplace pensions.

It's worked for 25 years!

We are completely equal, financially. We pay salaries into joint account and then we budget everything. We have a budget for groceries, for spending on the kids, for our individual fun money. We are completely equal in the partnership and I wouldn't have married him if that wasn't how he was prepared to live. It's hugely important to me that we are equal.

Works for us. Because we have a budget of personal spending I can splurge guilt free if I want to, if I buy DH a present then it has come from "my" spends which means I make a sacrifice somewhere else, if I buy him a drink while we are out then it's come from me, not us, but we live on equal footing financially.

Usually on here if a man keeps his higher earnings it's financial abuse but if the woman keeps her higher earnings it's fine.

How much less does your husband war. Than you - is he scraping by while you're splashing £50 on creams?

We've always had joint everything and we have no individual bank accounts or credit cards. We have similar attitudes to money so it works for us. If we had had different attitudes to money eg if DH had been a reckless spender or if he'd questioned every penny I spent, then I'd have wanted a joint account for household spends and an individual account for personal.
Obviously everyone has to do what is right for them but I cannot get my head around completely separate finances. I have a friend who didn't work when her children were younger. Her DH didn't drive. Every Saturday, they both, and 3 small kids had to do the supermarket shop together, so he could pay and she could drive. Which she could have done on her own with one pre-schooler had they had even an element of joint finances:.
I also find it very strange to see people who've been married for decades each paying their share of a bill on a night out. One couple we know splits every household bill down the middle each month and then they transfer half to whoever has paid that bill. It's beyond me how people can be bothered with that.

But as said, each to their own.

The issue with the “split expenses and keep the rest for yourself” method comes when there’s a vast disparity between salaries- eg one of you is a hedge fund manager and one is a teacher. In that case the HFM is going to have to constantly “treat” the teacher if she/ he is to actually enjoy the salary they earn ( holidays, meals out etc) and that would feel weird and patronising to the teacher.

DH pays most bills, but I cover some with CTCs, SCP and CB. We each do our bit. There's always money available for spending what needs to be spent which is ultimately the most important thing. We do have joint accounts and personal ones too. Neither of us have ever squabbled about money.

We do the exact same as OP, we have a joint bills account & joint savings we pay into each month and then our own personal accounts for general spends and personal savings too.

I think it can come down to what age you got together- I was 32 and had my own house etc when we got together and already had a separate bills account I’d used so I had no desire to rearrange my finances any other way.

My parents always had one joint account but they got together when they were 18 and didn’t know anything different.

But that’s not saying either is right or wrong, as long as it works for the couple involved then all good.

One couple we know splits every household bill down the middle each month and then they transfer half to whoever has paid that bill. It's beyond me how people can be bothered with that.

Yeah tbh I just couldn’t be bothered with the constant admin of that scenario!

We pay a proportion of bills (relative to our salary) into the joint account each month then keep the rest of our own money to ourselves. I'd hate totally joint finances. I'm an independent adult, I don't need to see what DH is buying and he doesn't need to see what I buy.

Everything joint. Would discuss larger purchases but neither of us are big spenders.

why do some people assume shared fiances means you have to ask permission to spend money? It doesnt work that way or its not really shared. We have one joint account and I am the one doing 90% of the shopping. If I want to treat myself with something, say a nice coat, or bottle of Jo Malone or buying a gift for a friend I just do, I dont need DHs approval! If I want to have a meal out with my own friend, or even pay for my firend I just do it. Why do I need DHs permission? Its not 19th century! However If I want to buy a new car or new washing machine, we would always discuss first. We decide together how much to put into saving each month.

We've pooled our money since we got married. All into one back account and spend whatever you want whenever.

We also have separate accounts for "lady's nice things" and "men's shit" that we put a few hundred quid into each month just because we like it. DH likes to treat me out of his just for a bit on an in joke, like I'll get this lunch even though our money is basically shared.

All of our money has been pooled since we moved in - DH by far out earns me. All wages go into a joint account, we have joint savings and a joint credit card, it's all one set of money!

We don't really check what we spend with each other unless it's ridiculous amounts, I'll happily go shopping and spend £££ on some new bits for the house or some beauty bits, he'll pop out and buy himself clothes or hobby bits without a worry. It's probably anything over 1k that we'd check, mainly out of courtesy but we're fairly lax. I think our spending probably evens out really well, I spend more frequently but smaller amounts and my DH tends to do big spending sessions less frequently.

We have friends who literally split everything to the penny, but then the DW gets annoyed at what the DH spends anyway so that one doesn't seem to work 😂

I agree that the totally shared bank account wouldn't work if you were on an incredibly tight budget but presumably (hopefully - although maybe not judging by so many threads on here) when you choose to live with or marry someone you have fairly aligned attitudes to money & spending.
We both know what our income is and what our outgoings amount to ... we both know how much roughly is "available" for discretionary spending after all expenses, savings, pension provision etc. So long as we keep within that budget we know we will not go overdrawn - haven't ever in 35 years of marriage. It's not a matter of 'asking permission' but if a very high purchase was planned then as a courtesy it would be discussed. Neither of us is fussed about having a 'surprise' present.
I appreciate this wouldn't work for everyone but it works for us.

We both transfer £1000 into the joint account each month.

The rest of my salary is mine. The rest of his is his.

That's why we've always done it as the same %age of earnings. It recognises that our time is equally valuable. We have to wiggle the actual percentage from time to time. I initially early more than DH, then we were very similar earners for many years, the I took Mat leave and a bit of a back step, then he got made redundant. I was promoted, he got a new job....

But even so, say A earns 270 after tax and B earns 30 after tax, so they contribute to joint household expenses in a 9:1 ratio and keep what’s left.

If household expenses are 100k, then A pays 90, having 180 remaining for what they want. B pays 10 and has 20 left over. Now you could argue that by virtue of being in a relationship with , B benefits from A’s higher salary so it’s fair, but it also means they have ludicrously different amounts of discretionary spend. Therefore A is going to be constantly subbing B.

Totally separate here and we've been happily married for 10 years

He pays the mortgage, council tax, energy bills, Sky, Broadband, water, insurances

I pay for all the food, the water filter (we rent a mains plumber in one!), and the window cleaner.

We each pay half of private health insurance with Bupa

The rest we keep individually for ourselves

He is not a spender. I am a big spender. He earns more than me by about 15k but I have the more disposable income.

We'd be divorced by now if I had to run all my purchases by him

We have separate finances and it works well for us.

Bills such as mortgage, nursery fees etc are 50/50 and everything else is ours to do as we wish. It isn't complicated at all for us, super easy.

We do things the same as you - joint account for all household expenses that we both put into. The rest is kept in our personal
accounts to do as we please. I think it’s important for each partner to have financial freedom and I’d hate to scrutinise every penny I spend. If there is money in my account and I fancy splurging on a fancy lunch and coffee, I can. Guilt free!

Same totally works for us and I’d hate not having my own bank account.

We don’t pool money. We share bills etc for our home, separate bank accounts but don’t have children. Works for us.

We have a joint account into which all our wages go and all bills come out of. A set amount (£100, set when we married and we are thinking of reviewing this after my maternity leave) goes into our individual accounts from this each month so that we have some guilt free, no explanation needed, spending money. We have a similar attitude to money and large purchases (over £50) get discussed before buying.

My mum had a shared account with her ex-wife and it was a trial for them both as my mum is very much a saver (spreadsheets galore) and her ex was an impulsive spender