Moving back home in your 30s 😢

[MadamPia]

I have mapped out the reality that comes with having a newborn, the cost of living, my income and the fact my landlord wants me out of their house and have come to the conclusion that the most sustainable way for me to live for the next few months or years is to move back to my family home (which is already quite crowded).

A decision I didn’t want to make but I keep hearing about how people are forced into moving back in with family later in life.

I’d love to hear stories, how did you find it? What advice would you give for using that time to sort finances. What did setting boundaries look like?

There is something about the way this is worded that make me think this is some research for a soon to be newspaper/tabloid piece in the Fail or Sun....

has your LL served you a section 21? If so take this to your local council and make sure its actually correctly written - if it not you can wait the 56 days and then tell them its not going to stand up in court.

Next get yourself on the housing list at council and wait until your LL evicts you, this will in turn force the cc to temporary house you and you'll move well up the list - also look at whether they will offer to move you out of area - sometime this is done in very crowded places

if parents is already crowded then there isn't going to be space for you and a baby. securing social housing is a better option for many reasons

Good advice. But intriguingly the OP appears to not be seeking practical wisdom such as this. The OP is interestingly seeking "stories" of people's experiences of moving back home in their 30s. As the OP says "I’d love to hear stories, how did you find it? What advice would you give for using that time to sort finances. What did setting boundaries look like?".

Which is all rather interesting.

Agree.

Haha wish I had those contacts (I’m just good at writing I guess). But I’m unfortunately a 30 something year old that’s pregnant that is considering moving back home. If you have any thoughts on that would love to hear it.

Thanks. Currently waiting for a section 21 as advised by my council. But because I’m not “homeless” there is no urgency until that comes through.

Im on the housing register for the previous council (3 years in) and not priority but have sent all paper work to prove current situation and chasing(I’ve had to move twice in 4 years due to LL wanting their space back - sadly now I just can’t afford anything on the market).

Im worried that with the council waiting times and I just have this feeling I’m not going to be priority because I work. I’m preparing myself to move back home.

Based in London so it’s tough!

Thanks! Asking for stories or experiences because I really don’t want to move back home but want to hear from people that have.

Based in London so it’s tough!

is there any way you could work out if London? Move north? Talk to you council about this as they may be able to offer you council properties in other districts but further north

Your poor parents! A newborn in the house at their stage of life?

Are your parents willing to let you move back? I'm sorry this is happening to you. There's a lot of talk about the impact on young people moving back but parents dreams of retirement are also affected by house sharing with adult children.

Do you plan to live at your parents when your baby is born?

Have you even asked if you can or considered your parents in this?
Even if they say yes, it's a huge upheaval to have in your life after you've raised a family for 20 odd years already!

What have your parents said? My parents would not be happy with me moving back home... obviously if there was an emergency but there would need to be a time-limit on it.

If I am made homeless - which is highly likely in the next 3 months. I am looking for alternatives I’m just preparing myself.

It is a very very last resort.

@AutumnDay90 @HumourReplacementTherapy my family say that they don’t mind. But I personally know that it is a small space and we will be in each others way! They are already living with an adult child. I don’t want to be there and in the long run it will be stressful.

I’ve heard that more people over 30 are moving back home due to finances (short term). Of course I will pay my way as I work, I earned enough for rent prices 2 years ago!

We had to move back into parents house for seven months with a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old when we returned from living abroad. It was ok but we were all really ready to part ways after a few months and that was without it being crowded. I think if temporary it will may be ok.

I have both my adult DC living back home with us. At one level it's quite nice - but on another, it has a real impact on DH and I and our lives. We no longer have a spare room, so it means having friends and/or family to stay is not possible. Shopping and cooking for 4 is very different from doing it for 2. And I never know if they're going to be in or out, which makes planning difficult.

One DC works late shifts, so there's noise (and sometimes cooking smells, as they make their 'evening' meal when they get home) - which is unavoidable, and they do their best to keep it down, but it can be disturbing.

More loads of washing/drying to be factored in - whether they or we do it!

And, inevitably, bigger bills as we're using more gas/electricity. (They do pay us rent, though)

In your situation, if there's no alternative, then obviously I'd welcome you home - and being able to spend more time with a baby would be lovely. But I'd also be seriously concerned about the level of disruption that would mean.

... and I'd be seriously concerned about being roped in to become a carer/babysitter. At least our DC being with us doesn't stop DH and I going out/away whenever we want to.

I know several people who 'have had to move back in with parents 😢' and I always think how bloody ungrateful is that language?

I think all have gone very well. So long as you remember it is their home and you're a guest/lodger you can find out what their boundaries are and decide whether they work for you.

You are very fortunate your parents are willing to take you in, hopefully you can make it work for everyone involved.

I think at your age you should be standing on your own two feet and not relying on moving back to the family home. What do your parent(s) think about it? Won't be easy for them living with a new baby in the house....