Is this it? Is this life now?

[shockshockhorrorhorror]

I have been in financial dire straits for over a year now. I am desperately trying to claw my way out but our money doesn't go far enough each month and it is snowballing. My husband and I both work and we get a bit of Universal Credit every month. It started when our rent, went up from £950 a month to £1250 with a month's notice whilst I was on bloody maternity allowance (suprise baby on the implant) My new job was delayed by 3 months due to a delay with processing my DBS, I didn't work for 3 months and got no pay and the knock on effect has crippled us since. Our energy company will accept a minimum of £358 a month to clear my debt which terrifies me. I am constantly dealing with debt collectors and their threats. I barely sleep. I find speaking to call centres so intimidating and long winded. I just wish we could enjoy life a bit, not worry about every letter that comes through the letter box and feel sick every time my phone rings. I'd love it if we could just say let's get a pizza, or go out for a meal or book a holiday next year. Just enjoy life!. It doesn't feel like living, it is just existing. It seems that having a house is an unobtainable luxury for so many, and that being warm is an expensive luxury. Last year we would say lets put the heating on as a "treat". I don't ask to live in the lap of luxury, but surely things have to change soon, as I know there are so many in the same boat.

This sounds so stressful for you, I’m sorry you are going through this. Have you drawn up a financial statement to show the energy company how much you can afford to pay back each month? Whilst they are a priority debt, they should work with you to ensure you can make repayments that are within your budget. A debt charity or CAB can help you with this if you need it.
This too shall pass. It just might take a little while, sadly. I hope you have things in your life that give you joy too x

Thank you for your kind words. xx I am scared that an Income and Expenditure form will show that I can't afford the repayments and then what? This situation started because of my surprise pregnancy, found out at 6 months so completely unprepared for Maternity Pay etc. And it has all just piled on. My Baby is 1 this week so that is a little bit of joy. :-)) I don't want to be wallowing in self pity, I know so many are struggling and it makes me so mad. Life is precious and it is short, we should be able to enjoy it to the full, yes we need to pay our bills but not be squeezed to death by them.

If you can't afford the repayments then you will go on a debt recovery plan. Meaning the charities will negotiate with your debtors so you pay what you can afford.

Please contact one sooner rather than later, it will honestly help.

I went through stepchange debt charity to sort myself out. I'd left things for so long I had got into a totally unmanageable situation. They were super helpful, there was no pressure and they gave me as much time as I needed. I actually filled out all the paperwork gradually over a couple of months because I was so anxious about it all. But they then dealt with all the creditors and accounts owing and honestly its the best thing I could have done.

Thank you for your replies. Am guessing step change would finish off my already horrendous credit rating?

Contact Step Change. They are a charity and will help you, give you a plan and you’ll feel so much better with someone in your side.

@shockshockhorrorhorror there are multiple options when it comes to paying things off and they will explain all of them and suggest which is best for you (though the choice is yours) each have different impacts on credit rating etc. Until they go through everything coming in, going out, owed etc it's impossible to say what potential impact there could be.

Wow op no wonder you are stressed - a v normal reaction!! Can you speak to step change?? I’ve only ever heard good things about them. Best of luck to you xxxx

If the financial statement shows you can’t afford the repayments then you can offer them what you can afford. Doing it with a specialist debt support service like step change or CAB can help give you confidence and understanding about the potential implications. It will feel like a weight off your shoulders once you have a debt plan in place.
Huge congratulations on your new baby! I hope you get things sorted so that you can enjoy your lovely new arrival properly x

Oops sorry misread your post. But still congratulations on your baby turning 1 🥰

That's ok! thank you 🙂

Have you applied for a DHP? Check if youre eligible https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/claiming-discretionary-housing-payments/claiming-discretionary-housing-payments

Have you approached your local council about their Household Support Fund? It's worth applying even if you've had a Cost of Living payment if you have exceptional circumstances.

Has your local council got a benefits and debt advice service? If so contact them for a full benefit check. If not, email your local CAB and ask for an appointment with a debt adviser.

If you're on a prepayment meter, CAB may also be able to help with this too.

If you need food bank support, contact your council.

I'll check it out thank you

Hello!

I hear you - it's so hard isn't it...please give citizens advice a call - they'll give you a benefit check to make sure you're getting everything you're entitled to, they can help restructure debt, and give you really sold advice. They can also signpost you into other advice - it won't affect your credit rating, it's all absolutely confidential. And take any help you can get - it's there to be had. I run a foodbank - we also help with fuel bills, and we see folk in your sort of situation day in, day out. Take the help, if a food parcel helps you save a wee bit of cash towards a day out or something fun to lighten the load, take it. The burden were having to carry financially stops the enjoyment of life so I think - just take the help. Big kiss sent to you, I know exactly what you feel like . Xx. (Very un-Mumsnetty of me to send a kiss, sorry😀)

Just to add to what @fingfong said, our local Facebook reuse recycle group has a woman who hands out free food at the end of its best before date from Tesco on a first come, first served basis every week. She just puts it at the end of her drive, adds her address in the comments and takes it back in at the end of the night, so people don't even have to make contact with her.

Join as many groups as you can and do not be afraid to ask for help. You will be amazed at how much people will help if only they know you are struggling.

The same group also have an absolute ton of people regularly giving away baby (and child aged) clothes, nappies, foods, strollers, you name it.

This sounds really stressful for you.
Get some help from a debt charity they will help you get back a bit of control. If you look on the Martin Lewis website he has a list of genuine charities who will help.
Don't be afraid to ask for help and use a food bank etc. Don't let it spiral anymore, good luck.

Aww thank you all so much x

Please don’t worry about your credit rating. Call Stepchange, go through the process, make a realistic budget of everything you need to pay for in a year (divide less regular amounts like car tax or Christmas by 12) and then offer your creditors ONLY WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD.

It’s not worth your sanity, it’s only money. You’ve had an unfortunate time but you can improve things from here.

What @NoSquirrels said. You may be a candidate for a debt relief order but you need to put together a really good sustainable budget first that includes everything without skimping so you can pay the bills, buy food, pay for Christmas, replace the washing machine without credit etc etc. Including enough slack in your grocery budget get a takeaway pizza on pay day.

Have a look at

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

and

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/how-to-get-help-if-you-re-struggling-with-your-energy-bills-/

Another light on the horizon (albeit quite a long way away) is that you should get at least 15 hours free childcare, probably 30 depending on your working hours, when your DC turns 3. Something else that means your current situation is not forever.

Agreed that local secondhand sites can be amazing for kids stuff, most of my kids' clothes come from gumtree bundles that are typically about £20 to set them up for a whole year.

Don't forget to prioritise your own health a bit, both to help with the stress and to avoid getting sick which won't help matters - can you get out to somewhere green (a local community garden, if you have one?)

I really am so grateful. Thank you for your supportive and non judgemental replies x

I didn't want to read and run but if you speak to your energy company they have a scheme that pays off energy debt. All energy companies have it. Be prepared to send in your income and expenditure and work off your statements as to how much you are spending. You can also do the same thing with Northumbrian water to get your rates reduced by 50 percent. Check out your local churches, if you are really struggling they are happy to help and don't ask for proof of income and benefits or forms. It's charitable they just like to have a quick pop in to your house and they really are so great when you are in a bad situation. Honestly mine have literally helped me more then they will ever know, it's been a huge lift in my finances and lifted so much pressure off me.

We were in your shoes a few years ago as we’d ended up having to use credit cards to live on . Not a good move. My husband’s hair went white - I was too scared to answer the phone and companies wouldn’t listen to us when we said we couldn’t pay the amount they were asking for. We went with a debt agency in the end who spoke to all our creditors and made a payment plan. Money was still tight but the relief was enormous. Please get in touch with the charity that people have talked about here - it’ll be such a help to you .

Consider a change in area? In some areas of the country you could rent a house for half of that. Then slowly get yourself out of debt and hopefully in time have money to spare.

Hi OP lots of good advice already but I just wanted to touch on the rent situation. Do you rent privately? My landlady tried to raise my rent from 750 to 850 per month but there was a clause in my contract and she could only raise it by the same rate as inflation, if inflation was more than 5 percent then it was capped at 5 percent. I was terrified of confronting her, I called her and she said she would evict me etc. I then wrote her a letter reminding her of the clause, informing her I would not be paying 850 and although my rent did go up it went up to 787 per month (5 percent). Do you have a contract? I would check this as that rent increase is ridiculous!