Relentless UK

[carryonregardless15]

Anyone else feel tired?

We had d twins 5 years ago and because of the cost of childcare, I stayed home to care for them.

The pandemic happened.

As soon as they turned 3, I managed to get a part time job using the 30 hours childcare offer. It was temporary.

As soon as they attended school, I got a full time job (but it is bottom rung). I am the lowest paid and it's temporary. I am looking for a different job.

For a brief period we were able to afford things for the house and make some changes (move forward).

Now it's the cost of living and our fixed rate mortgage runs out at Christmas.

It's relentless.

I get it op. When we had first child five/6 years ago I planned forward to how much should be able to save by the school stage: I think we're now about £400-£500 short of that now a month. It's slightly depressing to think standard of living is that much worse than we'd hoped/expected. (Insert "we're lucky to have roof over head/food to eat caveat here: which we are ...but ok to want more that bare minimum)

Same- can't save as every month is something. Stressing about school uniforms and MOTs this month, next month will be birthdays. I read threads when people take home double what I do (lone parent family) and they can't afford holidays or days out- just seems like no matter how hard I work we won't get anywhere.

Reading your post just makes me take a deep sigh of relief. Over th elast four months Ive been thinking, where am I going wrong, why does it feel like Im going backwards?? I'm earning more money than ever before and on paper I would say well done to myself, Im doing well - but in reality Im struggling financially. Five or ten years ago I would have imagined myself living really well at this stage of my life - no debt, treats like meals out and holidays, wonderful clothes and no worries....the reality is very different, its just more of the same stress and making do that have made up the last ten years of my life, only it feels worse because Im more tired and starting to realise that no matter how hard I work, the old signposts to doing better just arent workign as they should or as I imagined. This is all very grim but I just wanted to say thank you for posting, at least I dont feel so alone, miserable or ungrateful any more and it seems there are lots of us out there starting to really struggle.

We're in the same boat but still I just wish I could give you all an unmumsnetty hug. Good people don't deserve to suffer so much stress 💐

I have been seeing my DP for just under a year, we both have our own houses and next month he is moving in with me. We have known each other for over 30 years so he is not a stranger.

This is purely financial reasons that have pushed us into it. Dont get me wrong, we love each other and we had planned in the future to live together. We have separate houses and i am slowly drowning in rent arrears and he has no money left after paying bills. We both work full time and earn an ok salary each but i am so sick of having no money. The COL has rocketed for me and i am so skint.

I am actually giddy with excitement to think i will have money left over each month or wont have to meal plan down to the last tin of beans.

We would have moved in with each other eventually but finances have pushed us into it a lot sooner as its getting to the point of not being able to afford the petrol to see each other as we live an hour away from each other.

It is relentless. I think the difference now is...in past recessions it always felt as though it was a temporary blip and things would get better. The country/world was on an upward curve.
Now...I don't know. I can't see any improvement on the horizon. The world seems to be going to shit and our leaders don't seem to have any interest in improving the lives of normal people.

Absolutely agree OP. Five years ago our energy costs were about a quarter of what they are now. I remember spending £90 in Sainsbury’s and thinking that was the biggest splurge I’d ever had in a supermarket. Now I can easily spend £50-60 on a top up midweek shop and we spend close to £250 on energy each month. Like you said, on paper, we are good. We’re not wasteful and save for holiday clubs and upcoming expenses and try to plan and budget as much as we can. But - were my parents as tight for money at my age? No. Were my in-laws? Nope. Back then the dads worked and the mums stayed at home and they still have better houses than we’ll ever be able to aspire to! We are always knackered as well due to both working our arses off full time!!!

It is depressing at times. I recently reread The Long Descent by John Michael Greer. It definitely feels true at the moment. Much more so than in the credit crunch and previous economic contractions. Catabolic collapse innit?

Setting my expectations low, pretending to be some hippy who never wanted material shit anyway. Simple pleasures yadayada. Consider the lilies etc.

I know what you mean OP. We have a comfortable household income but every year it seems to go less far.

One example, since buying our last car over nine years ago we've saved towards our next (used) car but with how much prices have gone up the amount we've saved is nowhere near enough to buy an equivalently aged/mileage car to the last one. It's wild that we're struggling more now to cover this cost compared to a decade ago when we earned less (but admittedly didn't have kids).

We keep saying how we'll have more breathing room when we're no longer paying nursery and childcare fees except now everything else is going up in price it seems we won't.