How will I afford hen do ?

[darkdeepandwithsauce]

Hen do in 2 weeks time. Everything Is already paid for except food and drink. 15 of us going to the coast for the weekend. I'm going to struggle to afford it. It was booked/arranged months ago when I could afford it

Can I not drink or eat as much as the others without standing out ? There are quite a few of us, so I'm hoping so ?

But most likely all the food and drinks will be just split between all of you if it is a large group? Are you hoping to calculate your own share every time? Sounds stressful. Can you opt out under some other pretext and get any refund for the accommodation etc?

Forgot to add - activities over the weekend also booked and paid for. Friday is BYO at the cottage we have rented. Saturday breakfast already paid for.

@honeypancake I hadn't thought of that re splitting bill. I'm def not going to be working out my share then only paying that, food wise. I will do my own round for drinks as I hardly drink much at all

If the bride is a good friend, be honest with her.

If the bride is not a good friend, either don't go or go for a shorter period of time. Yes, some of it is already paid for but better surely not to spend MORE at this point? Also, if you pull out now maybe someone can take your place.

Either you should tell the others that you can only afford to go if you pay for yourself or you should not go.

Going, and worrying about the money or getting into a situation where you spend money you don't have is the third option.

If i was the bride, I'd want to know - just talk to her privately/separately, there is no need to feel bad about anything, if she's a good friend, she will just appreciate you coming.

I think the only option is to be honest and say due to a change in circumstances (which everyone is going to recognise if they have seen/read heard any media in the last year) you can’t go, and want to save your money for the wedding. If there is a big group of people that’s much easier than if it was just you and the bride, for example. I can’t imagine anyone not sympathising with a person suffering financial difficulties in the current climate.

So pretty much everything is already paid for - unless I am missing something. You can BYO one night so that will save you money, the Saturday breakfast is paid for. For anything where is a shared meal, just say you would like to pay you're bill separately as you're not drinking (as much)

If you can't get out of it without losing a lot of money and you do want to go, I would just be honest. Maybe there are changes that can be made that will make things a bit cheaper, eating at a less expensive place, or ordering a takeaway and eating at the cottage (which if people are planning on drinking would probably be a lot better than trying to get 14 tipsy people back from a pub or restaurant). I doubt you are the only one who wouldn't mind less expense while still having a good time.

You can also leave early on Saturday night to avoid extra spending. Do that BYO event on Friday night, Saturday breakfast and whatever daytime activities are planned and leave earlier, or add Saturday night only and leave Sunday morning to avoid spending on Sunday as well. You don't have to do the entire weekend do you?