Helping a friend - I know absolutely sod all

[anythinginapinch]

I've had a lucky life and have no money worries so am a stranger to UC and benefits of any kind. I sincerely do not mean to offend anyone but could really benefit from the knowledge of those who have to manage on limited money.

I have a friend who I want to help. She's not British (permanent right to remain) and her English language skills aren't great and I'm concerned she may be wrong in her facts and assumptions.

She earns about 850 a month. She has two girls both under 12.

She is a HA joint tenant with her H who she wants to separate from. He refuses to give up the tenancy cos he's a bastard. So I've offered to fund her to get started renting privately, with a deposit and being her guarantor. I'm absolutely happy to help her get a place - it was my offer and she's very appreciative. But I don't want to inadvertently help her move out of the frying pan into the fire - and end up with a home that she cannot afford and then gets into debt etc.

Speaking to the Unemployment office (?) they showed us she'll get £x amount a month UC. That plus her earnings mean she'll have about £2650 a month. Private rent round here 2 bed is about £1200. Can she live, bring up her girls, run a car, on what is left? I doubt her H will contribute a penny. SE England.

Again, I'm sorry if this is insensitive or the wrong place to post. My gosh I've learned a few things today about life for other people, which have been quite an eye opener.

I would imagine she can live on £1450 a month after rent is paid, although of course it will depend what bills she has to pay. Even if you think her ex won't pay up she can go through Child maintenance services and he will need to pay if working. Don't forget she will also have child benefit on top of UC.

You are a lovely friend.
Are you absolutely sure you want to be a guarantor though. You need to be absolutely sure that if she for any reason defaults you'll be liable..

Is there a reason she would be exempt from the benefit cap? As if not she will not get that amount.

Sorry I’m tired and didn’t read properly you said that amount includes her wages, so yes sounds right

Things to be wary of

It might be very hard to find a LL who will take UC even if she has a guarantor

If her husband has a proper job she can claim child maintenance no problem as the CSA can deduct from his salary directly

Such a kind thing for you to do

That is probably affordable, presuming that she doesn’t have a massive childcare bill.

More then I earn working full time- she'll be fine.

Thank you all. Her H has no job at all.

I'm confident she won't default etc and if she does I'm able to absorb a degree of losses. I don't see much point in me having so much yet she, who works far harder than I ever did, has such a tough life. So I don't mind if I lose some but I'm pretty confident she's a good person.

Its a huge relief to hear that she should be ok on those figures. Really, a big weight off my mind. Thanks again

What area of the UK does she live in? If Scotland, apply for Scottish Child Payment.

Has she spoken to the housing association? She needs to check whether or not there are arrears, as she will still be liable to pay if its a joint tenancy.

Also, she needs to do a credit check and make.sire that he hasn't run up debts/defaulted on joint bills. She needs to know her exact financial position.

Depending on what you mean by the husband being a bastard, maybe she should speak to women's aid. Or Shelter, to find out her right to stay in the house/have him leave.

Have a look at the turn2us benefits calculator, and it will show what she is entitled to claim.

And she should do a budget, try the Money Helper website. They have a budget planner tool.

Would it not be better if she gets rehoused as a housing association tenant?

She is in priority need with having two children so the local authority has a duty of care. Cheaper rent and free repairs. It will of course depend upon where you are in the country e.g. If the South East there is a sheer scarcity of housing stock so they will put her in temporary accommodation anyway which will be private landlords until her bid for a permanent home comes up.

It depends on what she prefers really.

@anythinginapinch as a landlord think very catefully about being a guarantor.

You sound lovely and I know of so many well intentioned people who now have CCJs due to the tenant not being able to afford the rent and the guarantor but wanting to stump up thousands for the shortfall.

I would only act as a guarantor for my dc. I've witnessed aunts and uncles going into debt to avoid receiving a CCJ.

Maybe help out with the deposit instead. As a guarantor you could be liable for thousands.

Are you sure UC would top her money up to that amount? That seems a lot. Unless that is including a good chunk on child care possibly?

Walking away from a HA to rent privately should only be done as a last resort.

She should get legal advice re obtaining an order for the HA tenancy to be transferred into her sole name. Whether she will be successful will depend upon the arrangements for the children - is she the primary carer, what would be the best outcome for them, rather than the adults involved, but it is definitely worth her pursuing.

More information here;

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professionalresources/legal/relationshippbreakdown/housingrightssofmarrieddjointtenants/marrieddandcivillpartnerjointttenantcourtt_orders

@tattychicken thank you. I've read up some more and of course you are correct! I've already been checking out DV and am sure she's enduring financial abuse and coercive control so I think I'll suggest she and I talk to the council from that position and see if they will do anything re her HA joint tenancy. I can see huge benefits to her staying in LA housing if poss. Im now also v concerned he may become vv nasty as and when she leaves him/initiates anything legal. He has the life of absolute riley atm and won't want to give that up easily. Plus if she managed to get him off the tenancy he'd be homeless and as a single man (without children) he'd be so far down the priority housing list as to make that homelessness permanent.

She pays for absolutely everything - he won't even buy milk for the kids. They sleep separately she with the DC; he goes out all night (booze and sex) sleeps all day. One Dc broke her leg recently and he didn't even visit her in hospital ffs. Muslim family so he justifies it all as her obligation to him as her husband ... am seeing her later this week and will see what she thinks about next steps. I may be more use to her paying for legal advice (injunctions etc) thank rent deposit. Omg the lives of some - TOO MANY - women

Speak to Rights of Women they will help with the steps needed to get an occupation order and/or non-molestation order as she is a victim of abuse.

Please don't be a guarantor! She could stop paying rent immediately, and you would have to start paying it. Don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position.

I would focus on getting him out and keeping her in her HA home , I know your intentions are good OP but it could go very wrong. You don't know if they have underlying debt etc- I've known arses like this smash windows etc- it's all way more precarious in private rented for her. She will have the upper hand because of the children and will be considered more vulnerable. Your money is better spent on a good solicitor initially and some calls to the HA explaining the situation, possibly shelter and if necessary the police if he gets abusive.

The HA won't be able to take him off the tenancy without either his permission or a court order.

Refuge has more info, and deffo contact the council as they will have Housing Advisers/Homeless Prevention Officers who can advise re non molestation orders and occupation orders whilst you are pursuing the property transfer order. They also may know of local Domestic Abuse organisations to offer support and could poss provide her with an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Adviser).

refuge.org.uk

But yes, I think money spent on legal support would be well spent.

Thanks again. Yes I've come to the view that she needs legal advice and that's our agreed next step. She also understands and agrees that social housing is safer for her going forward. The responses here have really helped clarify what's important and in what order. We're seeing a specialist lawyer later next week.
(And I absolutely would continue to offer to be her guarantor. Don't care if I'm naive, I'd rather be that than uncaring!)

@anythinginapinch You get what you give in this life! Thanks for being kind and caring to a single mum and her daughters 🙏🏻🌸

I think the important thing is realizing that very few private landlords will rent to people on benefits.
So please don't encourage her to believe that she'll be able to rent somewhere, with or without your help.

I really don’t think it’s a good idea to become her guarantor. It’s potentially a huge commitment as the nature of a guarantee is such that there is no cap on your potential liability. This is something that could expose you to financial difficulties and also ruin the friendship.

By all means offer to lend her some money or even gift her the deposit if you can afford it. But do not open up yourself to open-ended commitments as there are so many things that could go wrong.

The local council should have a 'domestic abuse one stop shop'