Low cost alternatives

[datingdilema1]

Does anyone have any ideas how to do fun things with your kids and not get depressed?
Things I can no longer afford as a single mum that my friends and my kids’ friends do regularly and asked us to join them and I have to say no:
going to the zoo
music festivals in the summer
theme parks
water parks
indoor activities such as bowling, cinema, trampoline parks
bday parties for kids such as laser zone
other days out including meals out

One of my friends offered me festival tickets at a lower price as she can no longer go, it was still unattainable for me so I just said no.
We do have some camping trips planned but it’s just difficult not to feel like a failure when I have to keep saying no to my kids.
I know I’m not alone with this, but I’m surrounded by people who don’t seem to struggle.

Find other single parent friends to go out and about with. Or arrange fun stuff that doesn't cost much/free and invite your friends to those things.

There's plenty that you can do, that is lower cost. How old are the children? Make sure that the kids know that it's picnic lunches whilst out, and ice cream from the freezer at home.

When mine were little I bought membership to a local attraction. It worked out cheaper than going to different places. And they always enjoyed the day out.

There's often lots of free events/activities going on. Our leisure centres have free swimming on the weekend/school holidays.

Jesus what shit friends cant they meet you for a walk a play out in the countryside and a picnic. Go to each others houses kids just like to play with other kids. There are lots of free museums where they ask for a donation but you don't have too pay if you cant afford it. I remember my childhood it was amazing the most I did was call for my mate who lived across the road and we played out. Maybe once a month my parents took us swimming rest of the time it was a grandparent visit or supermarket. I still enjoyed my childhood. I promise you it doesnt have to be expensive stuff

Have a look on local council websites for what's going in. Some of the local councils in my area have free concerts and other events across the summer, often in local parks where you could take a picnic and meet up with friends. Worth a look.

Depends on age but the children centre arranges cheap day trips we went one year £2 for me and 3 kids inc coach!! Lovely day out.

As someone else posted, loads of free activities. Look at local cities to you and plan stuff, some will be ticketed but still free.

This year I am focused on free/cheap things. Taking packed lunches etc.

My kids are 3 and 8, we are enjoying the adventure :)

you are NOT a failure
where approx do you live and how many kids, what age and interests?

As a child we would:

• grow vegetables and herbs, always something to do caring for plants!
• long bike rides and picnics
• local park with play ground and splash area
• Ramble /scavenger hunt in local woods
• earn pocket money cat-sitting for neighbours or washing their cars
• recreate the Olympics in our back garden
• play cricket with home made cricket bat and tennis ball, or borrow neighbours rounders set and organise a game for the neighbourhood kids at the park
• paddling pool at home and a bbq (we made our own bbq with some old bricks and an old grill!)
• sleepovers and film nights at home
• make our own kites and toy boats and test them out in our local park
• Pick your own fruit at local farm (and wild blackberries if you’re lucky in August) and make jam
• getting books from the library every few weeks - made me a lifelong reader

i could go on and on. Tbh we were very often bored witless - but my mum would say “go find something to do” and we’d always find something, whether with friends or just siblings.

Going out is fun, but there’s probably LOADS you can do where you live, can still be incredibly sociable and fun. It might sound really lame but honestly looking back I loved the long summer weekends and holidays.

I arrange bike rides and canoeing, camping and barbecues, all free where we are, with home-made picnics, and then try to add one more expensive trip per holiday.

The picnics take a bit of work but ds & friends like the food. I've put garden skittles and quoits in the garden too.

I used to take DS to a local stream with a net and he'd spend hours playing in there with friends.

Or the beach - of course petrol costs but the one I used to go to has nothing there other than a beach and a swing park and toilets. So no arcades or pressure to spend money.

We'd also go and try out swing parks in other areas of our borough. Or go to the station and wave at the trains as they come past (your kids probably has to like trains for this though).

What about joining cubs? I know it costs a fee either monthly or termly but they do loads of activities including camping for pretty cheap prices.

The free museums - I think we've done nearly all of them in London over the years.

We used to go to different parks or the beach. My favourite summer with the kids was the great summer of picnics.
Paddling in a river. Get a day rider on the bus and see how far you can get.
Save up your 2ps in a jar and hit the arcades at the end of summer, if you live anywhere near the seaside.

If you shop at Tesco, look at where you can spend the clubcard vouchers. We go to the zoo at least once a year and have never paid a penny for it. Take a packed lunch and use clubcard vouchers for tickets. That's a summer holiday day out sorted. In the winter we use them for Legoland and pizza express and that's another day out for free.

My mum buys me annual zoo passes for my Xmas present, I pay £7 a month for an annual family National Trust membership. We go camping for our holidays and always take packed lunches on days out. I’m also a member of Cadw so get entry to castles and monuments. I use Kellogg’s vouchers for big days out to theme parks once a year.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Some of the best times we have had together have been simple things like bird spotting and country walks.

We live in north England and my kids are 10 and 7. I think it’s the nagging from my kids though that gets me down… why can’t we go as well, why can’t we go on holidays with xyz, why can’t we go to this festival they are going, they are all going bowling, why can’t we do this etc etc. I find cheap activities and I think often they enjoy them but then the 10 year old especially moans at me anyway that it’s boring or that he wants to go with the richer friends, it’s not cool enough etc. It was easier when they were younger.now it’s so and so is going there, so and so has this and that. It doesn’t help that my ex doesn’t do much with them and stopped paying child maintenance and is self employed so I’m not getting far.

i guess I need to just tolerate the moaning. we have good friends but it’s not their fault if they are going expensive places and ask whether we can join. They are also happy to meet us elsewhere.
thank you for the responses xx

Good thread OP. I'm just making an August summer holiday spreadsheet and trying to spread out activities. Mostly free but I still have to plan ahead and save

😳

The Science Museum in Manchester is free and a fun day out. I do hear what you are saying about having to decline invites though. I’m doing a lot of that at the moment too and it’s crap feeling like the fun sponge of the group.

Thanks, we will go. I’m annoyed with the cost of living situation and how commercial everything is. Even when I pack a picnic or go camping we still end up spending money. The younger one usually will have a bite, complain and later on keep moaning but mummy, I’m starving… can we just go to a cafe… I guess I need to be much firmer but it just depresses me.

That’s a good idea, I’ll have a go at it as well.

I might ask for something like this, we usually get Amazon vouchers and actually days out would be better

This is heartbreaking when you do out in the effort and you get made to feel it’s not enough.

I would involve the kids as much as possible in budgeting the fun money. So if you pay to go somewhere, get them making their own lunches, often it’s not even the cost of doing something it’s the sweets and drinks and sandwiches.

I’m terrible with money, but you’ve got some brilliant advice here, but I think the main thing is getting them involved however young.

keep something aside for a big treat even if that is the trampoline park, and help them budget to a point where you can go.

m there’s often free to attend things on music wise in the summer, it’s worth keeping an eye out. Also get involved in local groups, sometimes there can be support for low income families to have a break.

I used to do the sun holidays but as most people know they aren’t that cheap once you’ve gotten there paid the bedding and things and then food

They are already doing lots of clubs which is an also a financial pain. I cancelled my gym, pet insurance and other things so the kids can carry on with their clubs.
we get so little good weather for parks and outdoors though don’t we. I mean I still feel that’s the way to go obviously but it depresses me when my friends are booking hotels with swimming pools, holidays abroad (complaining about prices but still managing), trips to fun activities indoor, musical tickets…

What do you do for picnics to make them exciting? My kids always moan

And I mean going to each other houses is fine but I always end up spending loads on food for the kids and adults 🤦‍♀️ you have to get some pizzas and hot dogs, it all adds up. And even if you take them to the park there are always costs. I do it but then I’m stuck standing in the cold while watching them having fun on skateboards or whatever, not much fun for me while my more well off friends are having a cosy afternoon on a family pub or somewhere.
im sorry I’m sounding so pessimistic, maybe I just need some antidepressants 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Would it help to get the kids involved in the budgeting for days out? I used to do this with mine from a similar age. For example, if you have £50 available as a total budget ask how they want to allocate it.

An afternoon at the park with a picnic and ice cream is £5, a trip to the cinema or bowling is £25, a day at the beach is £15, out for lunch is £30, etc. Helps them understand how much things cost and if they blow the lot on one big treat it's free things from then on. My DC used to enjoy planning the best way to get the most fun out of their money.

Also look at Clubcard if you shop at Tesco. You can use the vouchers for lots of things.

Haven't read through all the responses so sorry if these things have been mentioned. I'm also in the north,free stuff we do is parks,bike rides just around local neighbourhood on the cycle paths (I don't have a bike but I just walk next to them),our council have family hubs that have free activities like crafts and board game clubs. The library where they can picks a big pile of books and they also have a Lego building group and some other things going on.
Hopefully you can find stuff near you,if you have a local Facebook page maybe ask in there to see what's around your area

Thanks, that’s a good idea and my kids would love getting involved. They think they know everything already so will getting some control😂
the thing is those estimates will have to be clear that that’s just tickets. Do people just go to see a film and that’s it? With my kids it would be an extra friend or two to pay for, popcorn ( could try to make at home and take but that’s hassle), drinks, sweets, Pizza Hut or something later…
the same with bowling or anything else isn’t it. Or soft play gym or anything, there is usually a massive push to spend more. It comes from the kids but who can blame them when everywhere we go it’s as if it’s a massive sweet shop and they are being bombarded with temptations everywhere. And my friends usually give in so I have to keep up or they get things for my kids as well so then I have to reciprocate 😩

Thank you. We enjoy bike rides as well. Again usually massive push to stop for a cafe or something but I’m realising I’ll need to be stricter