Why do I never have any money?

[Rollonannualeave]

Context. Earn 60k in a full time role.
Own own property. Pay a large mortgage of approx 1.2k per month.
Single parent. Kids ex has tight pockets and contributes nothing.
I shop at aldi and never buy new clothes for me. Just new coats and shoes for kids.
My 3k overdraft is maxed.
We rarely have holidays.
I rarely go out.
Why do I never feel comfortable? The end of every month is extremely tight.

Are you not claiming maintenance through CMS ?

If it hasn't already been mentioned cancel any subscriptions no longer needed e.g. magazine subs gym memberships if you hardly go etc. In addition review all direct debits going out each month. Are you on the best deal for dual fuel for example. Study each one in turn and cancel as many as possible.

For your own clothing I can recommend taking out a Next online account but clear it in full. They do excellent half price items in their sales. Next has discounts all year you just check periodically in that section when you need or fancy something.

3,100.take home pay

£1.200 mortgage per month
£540 per month. £120 shopping
£30 gym per month
£80 school dinners per month
tv subscriptions

You've missed

council tax £200
gas and electric £200
water £25
car maintenance
car insurance
car MOT
car tax
rough total on car £100
(or travelling expenses bus pass or train car)
house insurance £25
buildings insurance £25
life insurance £25
tv license £25
christmas savings £40
birthday savings £40

total easily £550/£600 a month add that to your already stated bills adds to

£2500

leaves you with £600 a month to find out where that goes - possibly fuel for your car if you have one £100

so £500 a month

your 2 coffees out could be £50 a month depending on whether three coffees and snack in Starbuck come to £25 each time and a take away for 3 would equate once a month to around £50 for 3 people

Move to a smaller house?

Rarely go on holiday- what does that mean?

When you get your hair cut every 2 months how much is that costing you - are you getting it coloured too?

Internet/TV

I think you need to break the habit of spending anything for a while. It’s hard but i think it gets you in a good frame of mind going forward.
Don’t buy anything unless you need to, no clothes, no treats. I would do without the nails if you can, maybe stretch out the hairdressers by a few weeks or a month.
I think £120 is fairly generous and I’m sure you could sit down and work out a couple of cheaper meals a week. If you can cut that down and no takeaway lunch it’s a chunk of money on its own. have you looked at the trolley website/app - check you are getting your groceries the cheapest you can?

Changing phone costs is a huge one, I got mine down from £60 to £12 at one point.

Also, see if you can sell some stuff. It’s a bit hit and miss but have a look around your house and see what you can get rid. Some on FB marketplace and some on Vinted.

I in debt a few years ago and I just needed to stop spending apart from necessary things. I actually struggle to spend money now even though my account is fairly buoyant.

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/everyday-money/budgeting/budget-planner
this is a really good budget planner

It allows you to change the tabs to weekly, monthly and yearly - thus you don't have to calculate all the bills, just input the numbers

I will use this and avoid putting in for food shopping and use just for essentials first, that way I can see what I have left for food shopping, birthdays and Christmas and alter my spending - as it allows you to go backwards and input the other numbers later if you want.

Pester power has a lot to answer for I think. For example. Yesterday I made a noodle stir fry. Eldest wouldn't eat it. Ended up buying him a sausage roll hot choc etc when out. It's difficult to refuse a hangry 11 year old boy.

You don’t mention kids? Do you have any?

@Rollonannualeave

To curb pester power - if your son gets pocket money you could offer him the choice to either eat your food or spend his own money to supplement with a sausage roll? Rather than you buying it?

If he doesn’t get pocket - you could consider starting. I find giving the kids official pocket money helps keep the kids pot finite, mine are younger than yours but I don’t buy sweets, treats or toys for them (outwith special occasions) because these come from their pocket money. They can choose what to spend it on but I don’t bail them out once it’s gone.

As well as potentially saving you overall, it’s good practice for him to learning all the money mistakes young.

It's so easy to spend. For example popping into the corner shop for milk cheese, bread. Lunches. I have to price compare and everytime insurance or anything like that is due I change it for a cheaper one.
It's tedious keeping an eye on it all but it rely saves money.
My main cause of being skint all the time was my ex. Once he was gone I had plenty of money.
Report your lazy arsed ex and make him pay.
They are his kids not somebody else's who does he think he is?

@Bluegreen143 great tips thank you.

Report your lazy arsed ex and make him pay.
They are his kids not somebody else's who does he think he is?

Good point.

so you sit down and write down 10 meals he likes, 3/4 breakfasts he likes and 4/5 lunches

then there isn't pester power, or wasted cooking

You don’t mention kids? Do you have any?

op states she is a single mum, that the plural kids father is a tight arse

You need to force ex to contribute. Contact CSM.

The SOA spreadsheet on moneysavingexpert is a good place to start and you need to be brutal and honest for a couple of months and write down every single penny you spend. I found a lot of small spends when we did this, despite thinking we were really good on not spending on coffees and food out etc. Now a coffee out can be the best part of £4 it adds up really quickly.

Supermarkets So easy to spend in these Plan your meals for at least part of the week and stick to it I keep to the same recipes
As a society we spend far too much on food hence child obesity

Bloody hell. Where DOES your money go? My husband and I are getting by on £900 a MONTH (no mortgage now), are frequently overdrawn.