250£/week on groceries for 2 people!

[FrogOnSaturn]

How crazy is it? We buy everything organic and don't have ready meals.
Strictly speaking, we can afford it (i.e. we still can save some money at the end of the month), yet it seems to me quite of a huge amount. Unfortunately it's not something I can control, since she manages the orders. I read that 2 people should spend around 100 a week!
We are in London.
Note: the bill also include shower gel, toilet rolls. etc...

People having problems with the pronoun "she" here... I forgot these days pronouns are a sensible matter. Will use ze/zir next time.

Is there a subtext here, that you’re being bullied OP? Why can’t you suggest you try to cut back a bit, if it’s making you depressed? What’s really going on?

Hi I shop at Able and Cole and Ocado, we live in London and spend about £160 a week. We also eat out and go to cafes nearly everyday so probably spend about £1200+ a month. During the pandemic I calculated we spent £900 a month on organic food and did less eating out. Two adults, one toddler and a pet.

There are 3 of us at home. I spend about £60/ week in Tesco on staples, plus £25 on fruit and veg and £10 on posh bread from our local market - and say £30 on Waitrose top-ups. £125 / week total.

We don't eat meat but that does include bottles of (cheap) wine and 90% of our toiletries. I wouldn't say I hold back on anything (apart from I could buy a lot more from the yummy bread stall).

We also can afford it - but I could cut back if I needed to. £250 for 2 is a LOT - but organic is expensive, organic meat especially so.

£250 a week is £130,000 over 10 years. £390000 (over 30 years) is a house in vast areas of the uk....if you carry on like this you've spent the equivalent of a second home on food so yes it's a lot!

If you could reduce it to £100 a week for the 2 of you (which seems like a very reasonable amount, its certainly more than I spend per person per week) that's an extra £7800 a year. Even if you "only" reduce it by £50 a week so you're still spending double the average, and could keep prioritisng organic meat or whatver, its an extra £2600...I could think of a million better things I could spend that money on than a particular brand name of pasta or loo roll or shower gel with no discernible better quality but it's obviously up to you.

Fine. She can do her own shopping and you do yours.

That’s crazy. We’re two adults and two cats and spend anywhere between 45-70 a week depending on what batch cooking I have from the previous week and if it’s a week when all the household stuff has run low. Plus we eat well, salmon tonight for instance. This figure includes everything (including household, toiletries and cat stuff.

You sound very passive. You're an adult presumably so speak to her. You have options. Don't have joint finances and buy your own shop and cook your own meals. Speak to her and say you aren't happy with how much it costs and are happier to shop at cheaper places as you'd like to prioritise saving for holidays etc. Take the initiative to meal plan and buy organic produce from a supermarket instead and see how much cheaper it works out.

Not sure what you want to get out of this other than a rant which is fine but for anything to change you need to communicate.

I think you're getting a hard time from lots of posters here. It's obvious that you are aware it's a lot of money (even if you can afford it) and it seems like your partner doesn't want to compromise on the quality of what they buy, and is making you feel unreasonable for questioning it.

Is the organic produce for ethical reasons? I do prefer organic where possible but make compromises because of the cost involved in some products.
I also wonder if your partner only wants Waitrose and Able&Cole because of some kind of snobbery. I love a good splurge in Waitrose, but don't have one locally so just use what shops are available to me.

Washing fruit and veg will not remove pesticides, as the pesticides are inside the fruit. Plants get sprayed from when they're seedlings and the pesticide is distributed within the organism, including the fruit.

www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/sep/29/cocktail-pesticides-almost-all-oranges-grapes-uk-study

Organic food is usually more expensive.

We're 3 adults here, no kids or pets. I spend £80 a week, plus about £25 for milk, bread and such mid-week. I shop at Asda, and all tinned/packet/toiletry stuff is Asda's own make. We eat well. Roast chicken dinner yesterday, home-made beef curry today, salad with quiche tomorrow.

OP you need to get her on Eat Well for Less, or at least watch a few episodes.

They can never tell which is 'their' brand of whatever it is they insist is the only one they could possibly eat.

It is a lot but easily done if you eat a lot of meat and or fish and it's all organic etc. I shopped at Ocado for years and I just can't justify it anymore. It is definitely more expensive that other shops. What's your household income and other expenses like rent? If I had a lot of money, I'd probably spend the same but unfortunately I have to be careful and we can't afford to buy organic everything. Does the cost include alcohol? Do you waste a lot of food or do you have an empty fridge at the end of the week? Do you also eat out and/or get take aways?

I think 250 is a huge amount to spend for 2 people but it's totally stupid to think I'm jealous,

Jealous of what exactly? The ability to piss money away at the most expensive shop when the same stuff could be bought more cheaply elsewhere?

Yes, that's really something I aspire to

We spend £130 to 170 a week on our food shop. We are in London too. Maybe once a month we include booze. We buy organic chicken but not organic fruit or veg. If I do the online shop I usually spend about £95.

The OP is probably getting a hard time due to many posters assuming they are a man. So therefore must be controlling and skinflint regarding their grocery shopping.

We are a couple in London too and probably spend about a third of that.

And mostly cook from scratch too, including batch cooking to not get tempted by ready meals or Deliveroo when coming in from work

Surprised that you need to buy shower gel and toilet rolls every week! That sounds excessive. For non perishables like that we go to Costco once a year or so. Even if you can’t do that you can get branded toiletries/cleaning materials at a cheap price in places like Home Bargains. Surely your DP can be snobby about toilet roll in the same way as food?

Would your OH agree to go to a market? The one near us has super fresh local meat, fish and a great price. Cheaper than Tesco certainly.

I personally think you’re stupid to think you can afford this when you’re not saving for retirement and having holidays. I would much rather have a few holidays a year than spend all my spare money on a supermarket shop.

Are you meal planning? Are you wasting much?

I try to spend less than £100 a week for the family. At the mo it's usually slightly over. But that's including lunches for 3 people and then breakfast and dinner for 4-5.

I spend much less than that to feed five but I suppose the question is how’s the food? Good I hope! For some people food is like an expensive hobby. Lots of people spend hardly anything at Asda but then get deliveroo twice a week or go out for a meal on a Saturday that costs £100- 200 for two.

Im fairly frugal but even at that I spend £70 on payday fish and chips and probably £100 quid a month on coffee/ lunches. What do you spend outside of your weekly shop on food. What proportion of your income is it. Who cooks? If it’s your other half does she also work and is cooking relaxing for her?

We shop at Waitrose and able&cole and spend c. £600 a month on food/household stuff (this might include stuff like kitchen items, cleaning products, homewares) and other joint expenses. If we have money left at the end of the month we will spend it on a takeaway or meal out.

We cook from scratch but probably eat out at least once-twice a week with our jobs and will have some lunches at work too. We buy a lot of booze within that.

I do like to buy quality ingredients and agree it makes a difference. We tend to limit meat/fish to a couple of nights a week though partly for cost and partly for environmental reasons.

We are a high income household though. I worked out we spend about 6% of our income on food/household shopping and could definitely tighten our belts if needed.

£250 does seem quite extravagant to be honest. Even if you are buying really good stuff surely there is a limit to how much you can eat in a week!

You quoted me and I responded - that's not fixating, that's a dialogue.

In my world saying that something is 'fricking crazy' is pretty judgemental!