I honestly cannot afford to live

[Inkdrinker]

I work 40 hour weeks, yet I was paid 6 days ago and I'm already completely out of money. My rent is more than half of my pay, council tax is a further 250 pounds, my energy bills are ridiculous despite trying to cut down on using so much.

I have 3 kids to look after. How are people going survive this? This is by no means a ploy to ask others for money, I do not want anyone's money. I just want to know I'm not alone in this situation

Just to add that properties no longer need to be large to incur huge council tax charges.

My borough has built some matchbox flats in /around our high and all these council / housing association flats are being band E properties.

Just caught wind of the fact as well that Central Govt has permitted them to increase council tax by up to 15% for 2023/24🙄.

Difficult times.

@Ifeelsuchafool I'm in a band D house and my council tax is £250 a month. It varies a lot across the country.

@Lovemusic33 do you claim dla? Also carer's allowance (or carer's element on universal credit) please don't suffer alone, there are many charities that can help you. Also let your energy provider know you have a disabled child in the home and they usually offer discount. Sending love x

@dylansss How do you dry your clothes? I'm just curious as I'm finding myself with no choice so I can dry washing.

I see 'euthanasia for the poor' coming. Old and skint? Don't expect any health service provision. Will cut NHS and social care costs, torys will be running their hands in glee.

Sorry if this has already been suggested but my advice would be to do the money makeover on moneysavingexpert.com (Martin Lewis's website).It wil take time but will take you through everything you spend and ways to reduce it all.

Are you claiming all you're entitled to? UC, council tax discount, free school meals etc? Get down to the CAB or give them a ring and they can advise you. Sorry you're having a shit time, we've been there in the past 😞

People only supported their children until they hit their teens then they brought in their own income to the household, or left for jobs on other farms, to go into service etc. If we want to treat children as children for 18-21+ years then we need to focus on fewer of them. Obviously once they are here they are here, just saying we can't compare with the past

The threshold for free school meals is something like 7k a year of earnings, so op is very unlikely to be eligible for those if working 40 hours a week. Nor is she likely to get council tax support when working full time.

I did the whole higher rate tax payer to living in poverty dive when my DC were 1 and 3. 3 year old severely disabled and XH walked out. I went from driving a nice car to not being able to get an old car out the garage because I couldn't pay the bill.

Mumsnet was brilliant, saved my sanity. It helps to talk it through.

The situation will change but its not changing in a rush so you need to be very, very honest with yourself and write down your hierachy of needs. Income and all outgoings. Look at the annual ones too so they don't catch you out.

Its scary. Its also amazing the things we start to think of as essential that when it comes to the crunch aren't. This isn't forever, this is like having a financial detox and then when you've hit firm ground starting to enjoy having choices again.

The biggest costs house, council tax, fuel - how rigid are these? Is your landlord a longterm one, would they rather keep you as a good tenant and consider a rent adjustment, in the medium term do you need that house in that location of that size, could your DC share and rent out a room (landlord dependant, I did a bit of Monday- Friday renting of a room for a bit so the house was ours at the weekend - grim but temporary), could you downsize to need one less room. As others have said is that council tax repayment too steep if you're honest they're usually really good?

Heating - costs weren't what they are now but I turned off my central heating when my DC were little and used a wood fire in one room - I had lots of trees I could burn, a luxury on reflection. I used to call the children my little icycles as they'd creep into bed with me as a giant hot water bottle. Hot water bottles are fab things, blankets on sofa, double up on socks. When the toilet cystern freezes (as mine used to) its probably taking things a bit far.

Food shopping is another big expense. I had a habit of filling my trolley in a certain way. I started pricing my meals, looking at the cost per plate. Some really surprised me - lots of cheap ingredients can add up to be the same price as what I'd consider a posh tea. Some meals I enjoyed were half the price of others. All the bits add up. I also portion controlled. Even partial portions can be frozen and then a pot luck hot reheated buffet of many different flavours saves cooking and the cost of a meal.

If you can work out what your true essential basics are and get that below your income, each pound you have beyond that is a choice - choices are luxury.

My elder DC (I'm a mum of three) are now 19 and about to be17. They're financially very savy. Their early financial lessons have taught them well. Eldest even works in financial services. I got them involved trying to turn it into a game (ever the optimist at trying to make sunshine), empower them to be part of the choice. Special treat money - an icecream at McDonalds or a bag of 10 donuts that would last us a few days. It doesn't matter that someone elses treat is a week at Disney, choice is power. My about to be 17 year old still wants the special choose your own bits birthday tea of beige buffet we had and made a big treat of when he was pre-primary. Dont beat yourself up unnecessarily over what you can get for your DC, its surprising as young adults the things that are their special memories.

Mine learnt to look after their posessions and I'd keep back boxes and packaging and we'd sell on. They could then be part of the choice on what to get next. eBay was our lifeblood - I now run a successful business on the platform (and elsewhere) off the back of my early trading keeping the wolf from the door.

This wont be forever but don't drown. Sit yourself down and start a plan and lean on others when it gets a bit much.

No, please don't. There's been enough "dicks" without another one.

None of your business why anyone wants (or wanted) three children. There will be families now having to forego having a much-wanted child or children. Then there will be fewer taxpayers to cover your sorry arse when you're old!!

The fact of the matter is, that it is an utter disgrace that such as wealthy country as the UK has so many people living in poverty!!

Also, Asda do that offer for over 60s - soup/roll/tea/coffee for £1 until the end of March:

corporate.asda.com/newsroom/2023/01/04/asda-extends-1-cafe-deals-for-kids-and-over-60s-as-inflation-pressures-continue-to-bite

Down through the years I have found myself in the same situation as ur in now. The only thing I can say is that it passes. And somehow tomorrow is slightly better than today and so on. It’s crap-don’t let anyone tell you otherwise- just take whatever help comes your way and try to have a bit of a laugh with your kids. Looking back I’m sorry my kids saw me so anxious and upset.

You’re not alone- my energy bill landed today before all the increases I was paying about £80 DD in total each month. Even with the discount it is now £225. For me it’s literally gone up by the amount i usually budget for a months groceries!

It’s a constant battle. The food banks that i used to give a few tins to now get nothing as we’re literally down to watching the pennies.

Although it’s refreshing (?) it’s heartbreaking and soul destroying to know I’m not alone.

I am a member of every cash back site and loyalty club going, I scan receipts, check for discount codes on everything, i look at ‘too good to go’ and check out the yellow sticker area. I bulk out meals and freeze leftovers.
I’ll never become a millionaire doing it but it helps.

At the moment we’re on a strict declutter and selling things. To be fair this is well overdue but the cash will come in handy.

I’m not saying these will help you but they keep me busy and therefore stop me sinking into an even more depressed state.

Not a boomer, but old enough to remember the past tough times you talk about and you're right.

We may have struggled then, but at least if you had a job then your wages paid enough to eat. And if you were ill or unemployed benefits covered the essentials. Who would have thought there would ever be a need for food banks?

Those saying we should have had a 20% buffer - my mortgage has gone up more than 20%, my energy costs have tripled, food bill has gone up load, so have childcare cost etc I had a 20% buffer, to be honest quite a bit more than that , buts it’s just not enough with the rate of price increases and lack of wage increases. I am aware we are more fortunate than many as well as just about keeps big our heads above water ( having to count every penny though) , but it just shows people are out of touch if they can’t see that a 20% buffer would mean that people were ok.

Prices for food and other consumables never go down. When inflation goes down, it just means existing prices don’t climb as much.

Forgot to add… over time i also built up a store cupboard so always have basics like pasta, rices, tinned food etc.
These are topped up first and then I buy other things in the weekly shop.
It is such a godsend as i know I could keep us going for a couple of weeks on that alone.

@SnowAndFrostOutside a 11/12 year old girl in adult size clothes needs medical intervention!

Maybe the wrong thread but I know ppl are knowledgeable on here about money. I’m a lone single parent on benefits and thinking of going to uni full time to do nursing which gives me a 5k grant. Will I still get full benefits along with the uni maintenance loan? My child is 7. It seems quite high to get a £9700 uni loan then a £5000 bursary that all nurses get and then full benefits on top (I currently get £1100 UC). Thankyou

Completely agree. I am a boomer and I’m appalled. I never thought I’d see society go backwards but here we are. This s much, much worse than the 70s.

I know you probably mean well but can you explain what you and others mean when you say that "it passes"? it's not passing - it's getting worse and worse every day - do you mean in 30 years time - I won't be here then

This whole financial crisis we are in is really scaring me.

What happens when fixed rate mortgages come to an end & the new rate is 3 - 4 times what it was. Which will obviously be passed onto renters.

Energy bills have gone up 3 fold, with both these things I think homelessness will be a massive issue in the next 3 years. Unless the government step in and do something 😔

It has already been proven that the high interest rates of the 90’s are equivalent to 3% in today’s market so when ppl talk about those times it doesn’t come close to what we’re facing now.