NO SPEND 23

[LaurieFairyCake]

I'm going HARD CORE. There's already a no spend January - I want to go ALL THE FUCKING WAY as far as possible

And I want to take YOU down with me

I confess it's easier for me as I am literally drowning in stuff even now. I've lost 6 stone in weight and I've got rid of 15 black full bags of clothes in last six months so I'm on a roll.

I also work all the fucking time so I have about 50 books to read and all the tv I want to watch. And I can't be arsed doing anything to my house so that's out.

I also want to do this for the environment - I already buy second hand as much as possible as I'm obsessed with EBay - but I could still do with buying much less

I've no idea what the rules could be, let's decide that if I get anyone on board.

My own thoughts are to get as FAR as possible.

I have bought a jumper in the sales already I don't need 🤦‍♀️ which is what kicked this off in my mind today - yadda yadda half price blah blah but I have 20 jumpers! And I had drunk half a bottle of port last night when I purchased it online...

So given my flawed premise anyone want to join me???

A fortnight to catch up on and a monthly review to do!

End of week 12 review (to Saturday 25th March):-

£5.40 coffee with a friend after a walk
£3.96 Amazon (4 x 99p Kindle books)
£3.60 return train ticket for job interview
£6.05 breakfast at Costa
= £19.01 spent + 4 x NSDs

End of week 13 review (to Saturday 1st April):-

£10.00 for a friend (transferred £10.00 to a friend to buy herself a cocktail as she's having a rubbish time)
= £10.00 spent + 6 x NSDs

-

End of MARCH 2023 (month 3/18) review (week runs Sunday - Saturday):-

Wk 1 (4 days) £20.00 + 2 x NSDs
Wk 2 £14.63 + 4 x NSDs
Wk 3 £50.67 + 2 x NSDs
Wk 4 £19.01 + 4 x NSDs
Wk 5 (6 days) £10.00 + 5 x NSDs

= £114.31 March total spend and 17 x NSDs

[£114.31/31 days in month = £3.69 average daily spend
£114.31/14 spend days in month = £8.17 average spend on the days I spent money]

Year to date = £324.34 spent + 54 x NSDs

So, some reflections...

I have kept a tally this month of how much I spent on me and how much I spent on other people. A lot of my self worth is bound up with gifting to others. I know this but I feel like I can't help it. I try and treat (buy?) people and I know I do it but find it very very difficult to reign in as if I do, I just feel tight and mean. Out of my spending this month (listed above) £50.13 was on others (gifts, cards, coffees etc) and the other £64.18 was on me. I know that £50 isn't a lot but its a lot when you're trying not to spend much! April is an expensive month also for birthdays/events + school holidays too so I'm not expecting this to get any better very quickly! Maybe its something I have to accept. I do want to save money & rapidly pay off debt, but I don't really want to change something fundamental about myself that I like (being kind)! I seem to collect friends in distress too and have a couple having a very hard time just now - my instincts are to go in there with bags of food, take-aways, cooked meals, prosecco, its so hard just turning up with tea and biscuits and no grand gestures!

I have been trying hard to resist impulse spends this month and have drastically cut down supermarket/charity shop trips as a leisure activity. I miss it, but it is helping me save money. I gave my bedside clock to my daughter as hers stopped working, and I really really would like to replace mine & it would cost around £20 for the one I'd like. Instead I'm doing without one (for now). I also really miss my Nivea Soft. I love that stuff but promised myself I would use up 4 x old pots of moisturiser first, which will probably take me all year! All these small sacrifices will hopefully pay off in the long run!

I've started a weight loss plan, which is also helping stop the impulsive spending on sweets/treats/junk food. Its hard, but I just need to do it. So now I'm poor and hungry - yay! I always knew this 18 month plan was going to be difficult so I just need to find small, cheap ways to keep smiling and keep going. It is hard not to feel miserable a lot of the time. I do have things to look forward to though, so I just need to keep these forefront of my mind when I feel low and also remember that some things I love (sleep, water, baths, watching tv, board games with kids, cuddles) are free or low cost and don't include any calories!

I have another £300.00 to pay towards my debts imminently (waiting for some invoices to be paid) then will pay another £500.00, all being well, by the end of April. By the start of May, if everything goes as planned, I'll owe £6,200.00. According to my post at the beginning of this thread, I owed £9k at the end of December, so this is excellent progress! I don't think I've paid off nearly £3k in 4 months so think my sums are a bit out, but I have been chucking everything I can at the debt. By the end of July, I'll have paid off one card and have £4.7k left on another, which I aim to pay off at £500 per month inc. interest (unless I can get another balance transfer). I also have a big holiday this autumn to save up spending money for (I am going as a companion for my Mum but still need spending money) so some of my extra cash will be diverted there but with no detriment to the initial debt repayment plan.

How is everyone else doing? Apologies for the epic post!

@bridgewateremma I love reading your posts and am amazed at how well you keep track of your spending!
I've been reading a recent thread about how much people spend on their monthly groceries and DH and I added up ours for March. I thought we were well below average but we were appalled at the total. All our unnecessary spending seems to revolve around food! This week we stuck religiously to a shopping list and have meal planned...now I have to stick to the meal plan and not be tempted by a takeaway! I was almost tempted by getting a takeaway lunch yesterday and looked into how much it was going to cost. As an experiment I went to the supermarket and spent the same amount on lovely food for lunch. I got loads of shopping enough for yesterday's lunch, today's lunch and more! I explained it all to DH and DSs who are now on board. I always knew that I'd get loads of shopping for the cost of a takeaway but it was a good experiment just to see how much! My plan for today is to do some batch cooking and make some cakes for the week. This is how I started 2023 but it fell by the wayside. I feel inspired again.

Thank you @Norfolkungood, it does feel a little bit like I'm talking to myself but it is so useful to have somewhere to be accountable.

NSDs today. Yesterday I spent £2.00 on a charity fundraiser for DD's dance class and sponsored a friend £5.00 for doing a sponsored walk for charity.

It's hopefully going to be a low spend week. The kids are off school but I'm working so they are with DH most of the week. Just keeping on keeping on!

It's been quite an expensive week this week:-

• £10.00 on a posh Easter egg for a friend (no-one buys either of us an egg, so we started buying each other one a few years ago. This year she sent me a 'cheese' egg (+ crackers & chutney, in a gift box), due to my diet!

• £4.00 Gibsons jigsaw (for me) from a charity shop

• £2.99 game for friend's son's birthday - brand new unopened M&S Star Wars game, still price stickered at original price £13.00

• £1.00 tooth fairy (!)

• £1.29 Postpak (this is to post something for someone I work for so I should get this back and, if so, I will take this out of my calculations)

which, when added to the £7.00 already spent this week means a total spend in 4 days (week runs Sunday to Saturday) of £26.28 (so far...). Hmmmmm.

I have made £5.61 on Prolific though and all my March invoices have been paid meaning I've paid loads off the debt and even managed to save £100.00 in 2 x savings pots (£50.00 in each). I'm getting addicted to watching the debt decrease and the savings grow - I'm not saving much, I completely understand its much more efficient to pay it off the debt but I need to put a small amount of cash away towards things that are coming up. If I save for them, then the money I spend at these unavoidable events won't come out of my usual disposable income.

£70 on DS birthday and DGC

NSD today.

End of week 14 review (to Saturday 8th April):-

£7.00 fundraising/sponsorship
£10.00 Posh Easter egg for a close friend
£2.99 game - birthday gift for friend's son
£8.99 candle - 50th birthday gift for a friend who loves candles
£2.25 tea in Costa
£4.00 jigsaw
£1.00 tooth fairy
= £36.23 spent + 2 x NSDs

It's been an expensive week and will be even more expensive next week I think while kids are off school. I'd like to take my youngest DD out for the afternoon. I also have a lunch out next Saturday, which will include train, lunch and contribution toward birthday girl's lunch. I've already bought her gifts and think I've got wrapping paper and a card.

I could have spent a lot more this week though and I like to think I was a bit savvy. Yesterday, my eldest DD and I went to a retail park to meet a friend and her daughter who is also a friend of my daughter's. I had a free drink on my Costa app so DD's expensive frappe thing was free (£4+!) and I bought myself a cheap tea. We then went to Boots and I used my Advantage card points to buy some anti-frizz cream for my hair for me (I live in hope) and to buy DD a mascara as a treat for her. She's studying hard for her exams just now which start at the end of this month.

I am constantly tempted though. We are doing up DS's bedroom just now (separate budget - we saved for this ages ago and he's getting it done up for his birthday) and I have been looking at bedding for him. I had to stop myself buying lovely new bedding for my bed! It would be so nice to have this, but I don't need it.

I've finished some more work this week (really stressful, but hopefully it's done now) and am now invoicing for this. This lot of extra work is specifically going towards expensive theatre tickets for the tour of Hamilton in 2024 and a weekend away to go to my Uncle's memorial service - both of which I couldn't have afforded if this extra work hadn't come up. It would be nice to pay this off the debt but I have also paid off around £700 p/m plus interest since end December 2022 (approx. figure, I haven't kept a proper note, its tricky to work out as we still also use the card for usual spending too then pay that straight off) and am on track to do the same in April 2023.

I hope everyone is OK and keeping spending low. Enjoy your chocolate eggs!

I’ve had an expensive week as I’ve booked a holiday!! However I’ve saved money by not inviting the teenagers…

Apart from that I’m finding birthdays quite an expense, but am being as frugal as possible apart from that.

Oooooh @CrapBucket, that's exciting, where are you off to and did you get a good deal?!

If you look at my spending, £21.98 of last week's spends (which I am obviously trying to keep low) was on gifts for others and I can a pattern here. This week it'll be a lot more I expect. I do struggle with this as I get a huge amount of pleasure out of treating others and buying gifts but, on the other hand, I am trying to be so mindful of what I'm spending. My justification at the moment is that I can still do this at a reasonable level (don't go mad) only if I am still meeting my debt repayment targets. If I start to wobble on that then that's the first thing I have to cut out.

I had lunch out this week and bought a serum in TK Maxx.

My skin is feeling more "thirsty" lately so I'm hoping that layering in some extra hydration will help and avoid the need for a full skincare overhaul.

An expensive day today, £33.88 at local family farm park. My youngest DD has an annual pass and my ticket was just over £16 with booking fee and I was happy to spend that as I've not spent much time with her this holidays (due to work) and it was a lovely clear warm day. However my son wanted to come too, which doubled the price! This turned out well though as he played with DD and kept her busy and went on all the tractors and down all the slides with her, saved me from doing it! It was nice to spend time with them both and he doesn't often want to come on days out now as he's a teen.

I successfully avoided most of the upselling, which I was pleased about! We paid £1.50 for some animal feed and avoided everything else and then kids got a free creme egg each at the end.

I bought a (reduced) birthday present yesterday for £8.94 and that's my spends for this week so far. I'm hoping to not spend much more over the next few days then it'll be a v. spendy day on Saturday for my friend's birthday day out.

My eating plan had gone a bit bananas over Easter, back on track today.

NSD yesterday & today (so far!).

I have an evening in myself this evening (until 9ish when everyone will arrive home), which I am stupidly excited about. I am so looking forward to not making the tea and not wrangling my children to study/eat/stop gaming/general constant negotiation after work! In anticipation, I spent my Nectar points in Sainsburys on some sushi to take home for this evening and I didn't have to spend any actual money. I can't wait!

Nearly the end of the Easter holidays, I haven’t spent a fortune but definitely need some NSDs… today would have been a NSD but McDonald’s app emailed me a birthday treat for a 1.29 Big Mac. I couldn’t resist 😐

A £1.29 Big Mac! I'd have had 2 (I don't like the fries)!

NSD today, however...

End of week 15 review (to Saturday 15th April):-
£8.94 birthday gift
£33.88 day out to farm park with DD2 & DS
£22.00 drinks and nibbles for cocktail/prosecco night with friends
£35.70 brunch + coffee & cake out (also paid for birthday girl's meal)
= £100.52 spent + 3 x NSDs

As expected, a very very expensive week with 3 x birthdays (all on the same day!) and the school holidays. I did make £28.00 using free bet offers to place a few matched bets on the Grand National, which helped a little.

However, I am determined to not beat myself up/justify the spending as I am still meeting all my £££ debt repayment targets of £570.00+ per month AND this week have managed to both pay off the unexpected expenses of a hotel cost for a memorial service for a close family member and save up over £200 for the costs of the weekend away when we go the memorial service next month and pay off recently purchased theatre tickets to the tour of Hamilton next year (a few cheques cleared).

I'm going to visit a poorly friend tomorrow with some lunch bought at the fancy bakery but apart from that, I'm hoping to have minimal spends until the end of the month (<£40.00).

I've had a few spends lately as we are doing some jobs in the garden so I've paid out for fence paint. £30 on 3 tubs of paint and that has been my entertainment for too many hours the past 2 weeks. Has worked out as cheap entertainment for the amount of time I've spent doing it and it's kept me away from the shops.

I've had a bad week. Spend, spend, spend + eat, eat, eat - my two issues are linked and I've been on the FUCK IT train.

I'll detail everything out at the weekend, but I've had a serious word with myself and I'm now back on my no spend journey. It wasn't £100s, but I'm still annoyed with myself and now need to plan how to make the money back.

First real blip money wise in nearly 4 months though and I've worked so hard up until now so I'm not being too tough on myself, just tough enough so that I won't do it again! I'm not back on track foodwise, yet, working on that still.

Ah @bridgewateremma don’t be too cross with yourself, you will get back on track.

I had a ridiculously expensive weekly shop last weekend which scared me into some NSDs this week. My supermarket discount card expires soon so I stocked up on toiletries etc. Probably for the best overall.

End of week 16 review (to Saturday 22nd April):-

£16.80 lunch from bakery for me & poorly friend to take round to her house (this could have been much cheaper)
£25.99 meal out on my own while waiting for kid pick-up (food I didn't need) :-(
£1.50 book from charity shop
£2.00 soap
£23.00 new piercing (I love it but I should have saved up for this and not done it on impulse)
£6.10 cakes I didn't need :-(
£3.95 breakfast - more food I didn't need :-(
£5.00 cinema tickets for this morning (KidsAM with my youngest)
= £84.34 spent + 2 x NSDs

:-(

I've nothing left until 30/4 so can't spend any more.

We are off out to cinema soon so I'll write more later.

Just some musings on my spending last week...

• I think I'm quite unhappy just now. Life is hard (CoL, debt repayment, secrets, at the bottom of the pile, work work work, teen exam time, teen drama) and when I'm sad, I just shut down and want to eat and spend money. This was always going to be a slog so I'm not sure how to pick myself up. I can't talk to anyone so I need to find ways of getting through the long days and weeks while trying not to feel sad and resentful that I can't spend money/am working so hard/have shit clothes/always saying no etc. Aaaarrrrrrggggghhhh! At least I have an outlet here.

• 4 months in and it's started to be a bit of a slog now. Its like diets, full of enthusiasm at the beginning then I get fed up. I've used up lots of free vouchers and points and said no to so many things and it's now becoming boring and I'm getting sick of life being so dull.

I need to pick myself up and find a way through.

It is a slog Emma. I can only do it with a very specific goal. If I remember you are paying off debts (I have been there). Can you focus on something you can have when the debt goal is achieved

When I gave up smoking many years ago I saved the money and used it to buy a wood burning stove (and the fitting). We couldn't justify the cost at the time so it was a motivator. I am retired now but have a passion for travel so I make savings in order to fulfil the travel itch

@bridgewateremma you're not giving yourself credit for how well you are doing!

To make things less of a relentless slog mentally, could you give yourself one week or one month off every so often? Where you 'allow' yourself a few extra spends. April was a bit like that for me, but it's actually done me some good after the first 3 months of the year being very strict. I've reset and am ready to go again. You've got the discipline for that approach I'd say.

@bridgewateremma, do you allocate a small amount of personal spends every week? This really works for me - it means I can have a small treat if I want to, or I can choose to save up for something bigger.

Apologies if you already do this, and good luck on the future 🙂.

*in

Thank you so much for the advice and support everyone. I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry that this thread has become like my diary - I do want everyone else to post on it too, please!

Due to not yet getting my head sorted out, my spending continued this past week BUT I ended up using a small amount of savings I had, so I am not hurting my debt repayments and the only person who will suffer in the long run, is me! I have been saving up to have a big splurge on make-up at some point and my savings for this are now partly depleted, my own fault.

I have now got my head firmly back in the no spending game. Food/healthy eating wise, I'm still working on this.

End of week 17 review (to Saturday 29th April):-

£25.25 Costa (I'm not proud of this)
£5.86 Nivea moisturiser (I finally cracked and bought this)
£29.00 theatre ticket to see a show my friend has written
£15.00 earrings for my new piercings
£1.99 film on Amazon Prime for youngest DD
£3.60 train into town
£6.00 pub x 2
= £86.70 spent + 3 x NSDs

Ridiculous I know. I'm not proud of myself. But if I stop posting here and being accountable then I know I've really lost my way, so I have forced myself to post and fess up.

I can clearly see the mistakes in my spending above, however there are some decisions I'm happy with. I was invited out twice this weekend and decided to not go for the two meals I was invited for (saving myself approx. £70.00) but went out afterwards on both occasions and just met my family/friends afterwards both times for a soft drink. I spent £3.60 (train) + £2.30 (sparkling water) on one night out and £3.70 (2 x sparkling water) on the other evening. I had a lovely time and silly money was not spent! I also was always going to spend big money on seeing my friend's play - show is on in the autumn - I'm really proud of her.

End of APRIL 2023 (month 4/18) review (week runs Sunday - Saturday):-

Wk 1 (1 day) NSD
Wk 2 £36.23 + 3 x NSDs
Wk 3 £100.52 + 3 x NSDs
Wk 4 £84.34 + 2 x NSDs
Wk 5 £86.70 + 3 x NSDs
Wk 5 (1 days) NSD

= £317.79 April total spend and 13 x NSDs

[£317.79/30 days in month = £10.59 average daily spend
£317.79/17 spend days in month = £18.69 average spend on the days I spent money]

Year to date = £642.14 spent + 67 x NSDs

I am acutely aware that the amount spent this month very nearly equals what I spent in the 3 months prior to this. This HAS to stop and has really given me pause for thought to see it written down like this. I have found my focus again and will continue to try and spend as little as possible from now on! Its a new month, the sun is shining and I can do this!

I am still chipping away nicely at the debt, believe it or not! I am waiting for £400 of invoices to be paid - this money will go straight onto my c/c - then I will be £1,500 away from having this card completely cleared - the aim is to have this card at a £0 balance by mid August, then I can see if I can balance transfer the remaining balance from the other card (approx. £4,500) to the card with £0 balance to avoid interest on this remaining balance, which will start to be charged from 1/10/23. Then I'll chip away at the remaining £4,500, hopefully interest free, over the following 9-10 months, meaning I'll be debt free by my target of 18 months (end of June 2024 at the latest). I do have one month (September 2023) when I'll be able to pay very little to the debt apart from minimum payments, due to being away for 2.5 weeks and unable to earn via self-employed routes, but I have factored this into my calculations.

Onwards and upwards and thanks again for the support! I'm off to take my youngest for a (free!) bike ride to the park!

Do you have room for one more? I have been watching the thread in an effort to learn - and motivate myself! So I'm going to post to make myself accountable and follow the example of the NSDs while hopefully offering support. (I also have DCs at uni who are affected by the COL but that's a whole other thread!)

I actually kept a diary for April's and learnt a lot. My downfalls are (like lots of us) just nipping to shop for milk and spending £12. If someone else says I'm just nipping to the shop I say ooh please can you get me xxx? I think I'm getting that eBay money on Monday so I'll just get xxx now and then I still spend the eBay on something else. We have a spends account allocated from the week and towards the end when it's empty I say I'll just get xxx from the bills account and transfer it back next week.

I NEED TO STOP IT.

I have deleted all my payment cards/methods on Amazon/Etsy/Uber etc and I am only going to use actual balances on Vinted and EBay. Anything I "need" to buy I will leave in the basket for 24 hours. If we need milk I will wait and get it from the milkman the next day - they are actually cheaper than the shop and I can't buy two bags of peanut M and Ms if I'm not actually going to the shop!

So far today I have spent nothing  I am actually awaiting for an Amazon balance £6.99 refund to get an eyeliner though

Good wishes to us all for May (three bank holidays too...not good timing!)

Month 5 and old habits are creeping back in here. Takeaways...DH does remind me when I suggest one that we should save the money for our holiday.
I've been back to the shops more lately and spent on things for our holiday but I am a more mindful about buying unnecessary items that I want rather than need.
NSDs don't really work for us as we probably have about 5 NSDs but the other 2 days we do all the spending.
Once our holiday is over the plan is to get back to good habits. From a health point of view we need to do it as far as our diet is concerned. I've gained so much weight and things need to change. When I'm watching the spending food seems to be a easy solution to have a bit of joy.
Welcome @ImJustNippingToTheShop .
Keep up the fantastic work @bridgewateremma it's a long hard slog but imagine when all the debt repayment is done and you will be able to use that extra money each month to save or spend.