Am i being unreasonable

[Mooster84]

Firstly after this experience i will never borrow money off a friend again, so beginning of year i was unexpectedly made redundant and had lots of payments etc coming out but wasnt entitled to redundancy as not been there long enough my very well off friend as in actual millionaire said they would lend me some money not a huge sum but enough to get by, agreement was to pay back 100 a week and a little bit more towards end to add to the full amount, at the weekend i received a message saying hello can you pay me back all the money outstanding now as i am going to get money for my 3 week holiday to the maldives, it was my sons birthday and also so near to Christmas i dont have it all in one go, i said this and said i can basically give him all this weeks wage which is only 100 a week, all my change pot, my partners last bit of money and add my sons birthday money and he said ok i suppose message as soon as transferred, i was literally crying most of my sons birthday, i haven't had tea in 3 days as we was low on shopping aswell and was only just scraping enough for this with all bills going up, my children are still having all their meals etc and are none the wiser but i just feel so depressed i dont know how i can afford any christmas presents, i literally dont have anywhere to turn all so this millionaire can go on their 3 week hol to maldives, am i being unreasonable surely they must know i will struggle for the whole some left, why agree 100 a month why book a hol if they were gonna ask me week before they went for their spends, i am well aware it is their money i borrowed but surely they shouldnt be so harsh and so near christmas, seriously considering saying santa is poorly and get presents for January or something then there putting my sons birthday money back 🥺

I am sorry you are in this situation, but you should just have said "I can't, I'm sorry but I don't have it" and stuck to the original agreement.

£100 a week or a month? Tbh it sounds like you overcommitted to the repayments so should not have taken the loan. The fact he is wealthy is irrelevant but did you say it was difficult? How much was loaned?

Can you contact your credit union and see about a loan with them?

said i can basically give him all this weeks wage which is only 100 a week, all my change pot, my partners last bit of money and add my sons birthday money

Why did you offer this?

OP, you had an agreement to repay it and you were sticking to it. You don’t need to martyr yourself or give your son’s birthday money away or cancel Christmas or starve yourselves. Your ‘friend’ will go to the Maldives regardless.

Message them and say you cannot afford it and will pay the £100 as agreed.

agreement was to pay back 100 a week and a little bit more towards end to add to the full amount,

Actually a PP is right, why did you agree £100 a week if you only earn £100 a week?

Your ‘friend’ has been thoughtless but I suppose they don’t understand that this ‘little bit more at the end’ you agreed to is putting you into poverty.

Just message them to say you can’t do what you agreed but you will keep paying regularly until it’s all settled.

If you only earn £100 per week how were you going to pay that amount back per week?
Did you hope your friend would just tell you not to bother paying them back?
It might have been nice if they did but if it was agreed it was a loan and you agreed to pay them back they have every right to ask for it
And why would you give them your sons money etc? You should have just said you couldn’t

It sounds like a miscommunication, really. I think your friend might be shocked to read that you have not eaten for three days. Also, they probably aren't "millionaires"; most folks I know with money don't go asking for change for their holiday spending money...

Also, I am really sorry for how you've been left but I think you are unreasonable. You should have said no.

I also think you should have said no.

I do not believe that anyone would see you struggle like this so that they can go on holiday. Tell them you can't afford it.

whether or not he is a millionaire and where he goes on holiday is irrelevant.

he lent you money, you agreed terms on how/when to pay him back.

You should have said you would stick to the originally agreed terms. Then everyone knows where they stand and no-one feels hard done by.

You should of said "I can't afford that I have to stick to the original agreement I'm sorry." And left it at that.

He does not sound like a millionaire if he's asking for money to go on holiday with.

What was the total amount of money you borrowed?

I would never borrow from anyone and I prefer others NOT to ask me for the simple fact it's always an issue getting the money back, unlike when you hand the money over.

Do you and your partner live together? I think you should of asked for help job searching or something and not accept the loan in the first place from your friend.

I agreed as i pay some off my wage plus my tips I get and my partner tops it up i agreed £100 a week as that is what i could afford obviously and was all running smoothly until this weekend when he changed his mind and wanted all money owed in one payment.

Thanks for all the replies mainly helpful, i didnt ask for a loan he offered as he knew i lost my job unexpectedly, i was job searching and found my now job inly 2 month later, but by then was struggling with bills etc, so he offered and would be just over a year at 100 a week, until he changed mind, i wont be borrowing money ever again off anyone after this dont worry but just felt annoyed and wanted to vent somewhere as no one to turn to at all my partner on perm nights so never see him and just me kids who im not going to waffle about. I managed to pay half of what was left and said thats it so didnt use sons birthday money but was close, he is happy now he can add it as extra maldives spends, guess thats how the rich stay rich